bigsombrero

The Addict's Dilemna

Entire article posted in the link. A long read, but I didn't notice because I was very keen on this one. At this stage of my recovery it helped me reassess the true nature of what I'm trying to conquer here. Some things that stood out:

Addictive double-mindedness means that the addict, even, indeed especially when he has attained a reasonable consciousness of his plight, remains between the proverbial rock and a hard place. He knows that his addictive behavior is not good for him or for those around him; and he knows that the wisest, sanest, most sensible and indeed the only rational thing for him to do is therefore to abandon it immediately and to never look back. But this the is one thing that he is not prepared to do. He might do almost anything else to be rid of his addiction – but he won’t do the one thing needful, and the only thing that counts: desist once and for all from the addictive behavior itself.

Why not?

For the addict the prospect of giving up his addictive behavior and the feelings it brings him activates profound feelings of loss. The addict cannot really imagine a worthwhile life sans his addiction – or if he is somehow able to conceive such an existence, he finds it to be unbearably weary, stale, unprofitable and empty, a kind of living death that is more of a curse or a punishment than anything to be valued or preserved. Thus it is perfectly natural for him to say to himself, imagining as he usually does a future free of addiction that is also and as a consequence destitute of every enjoyment and meaning that make life worthwhile, that quantity of life is not so important as quality, hence it is reasonable in his mind to persist in his addiction even if it shortens his life substantially because at least he will be happy during the time remaining to him.

If you find any of this interesting, there is much more to the article. The last paragraph is also quite thought-provoking..."what is recovery?" - indeed.

Gottalife

Thanks BS.

It reminds me of a passage in the Big Book: "his alcoholic life seems the only normal one" And as for changing his behaviours, well who really wants to take the steps if they don't have to?

Mirage74

Wow, great article. I thought she was describing me.

"Thus it is perfectly natural for him to say to himself, imagining as he usually does a future free of addiction that is also and as a consequence destitute of every enjoyment and meaning that make life worthwhile, that quantity of life is not so important as quality, hence it is reasonable in his mind to persist in his addiction even if it shortens his life substantially because at least he will be happy during the time remaining to him."

I remember, after I had first really become an alcoholic, being in a bar with a friend and we were talking about how our frequent, heavy drinking was probably going to kill us early. I remember saying, "I don't really care if I die early, at least I'll have enjoyed my years here." We were sort of chuckling about it. The thought of a life without alcohol for me was beyond imaginable (still is, at times).

Thanks for posting, bigsombrero

Tammy47

"I don't really care if I die early, at least I'll have enjoyed my years here."

yep, that's how I rationalized too, for years and years..

great article Bigsom, thanx

freshstart57

That to me describes my internal struggle between my and my AV, and is the nature of addiction, to my understanding. That dialogue between me and it. It there is no struggle, there is no addiction, just a drunk who is darn happy about it. There's whiskey in the jar, boy - o.

fantail

This bit is going in my wallet:

"Addictive behavior aims to modify the emotional and hedonic(pleasure) state of the individual directly by artificially creating positive feelings and avoiding negative ones. This means that the addict’s own internal guidance mechanism, his "survival compass" becomes progressively disconnected from his actual internal and external environment with its constantly shifting and changing stimuli and cues, and is replaced by the "false compass" of the addiction whose needle is always pointing toward itself and hence bears no relationship at all to what is good or bad for the individual who attempts to navigate by it."

Such a good reminder.

sable1

thank you, great article. Described my own feelings and behaviours exactly. Both how I felt before the addiction started; allready lots of issues, insecurities and more mood swings than the avarage kid. My relationship with the addiction felt really intimate for me and made me feel calm and comforted in any situation, definitely the love of my life and my top priority.
And after; feeling as if life without addiction was impossible and full of fear, doom, emptyness... No way to regulate my mood. Basicly like a sick person in need of her medication.
Really helpful to see my own feelings put in to words like that, it helps me realize that I really am an addict, even though I often try to tell myself that I'm not.

Boleo

Sounds like my first go-round at recovery - I was miserable every minute I was not-drinking because I had to think about not-drinking every minute. Then I finally told myself I was never going to waste another minute trying to not-drink.

That is the instant the obsession left me. I had a spiritual awakening so profound - I never thought about drinking or not-drinking ever again. Sober is no longer who I am. It is now what I am. Thus the old saying:

"Sought after virtue is not true virtue".
(Laozi)

wizzer

I'm not sure if this is correct place to post, but got to start somwhere. I'm scared that I can not do this. I know a couple of people that I can talk to but do not think they will and/ or can help me. Any advice would be appreciated.

silentrun

Go to the newcomer's section.

Gottalife

This poses a huge question.

How to reconcile artificially creating positive feelings and avoiding negative ones, through so called non addictive medications, with true recovery? How do you find a good place with a false compass?

CharlieNoogan

By "non-addictive medications" I presume you are referring to anti-depressants, etc. The purpose of these medications is to restore the brain to a natural, healthy state by repairing the serotonin deficiencies often brought about by addiction or extreme stress. It is not a "false compass" in the sense that these medications somehow create happy feelings artificially (as recreational drugs do). Rather, they restore the individual's true and normal compass of the brain to its natural state.

Another great post bigsombrero! Thank you. I particularly liked the ending as it explains succinctly why abstinence alone does not work:

"Although abstinence from the addictive substance or process is the sine qua non of a lasting recovery from addiction, experience with addicted individuals shows plainly that abstinence alone is often not enough. For although a certain number of addicted people do succeed by simply giving up their addiction, a large number do not. What happens to them is reminiscent of Mark Twain’s famous remark about smoking: "It’s easy to quit – I’ve done it a hundred times!" Such individuals stop their addictive behavior, hold on by their fingernails for a while, and then relapse – sometimes with extra added momentum from the negative energy of their "deprivation." This familiar addictive cycle causes shame, guilt, despair, disgust, hopelessness and helplessness both in the addict and those who are affected by his addiction.

Sustained recovery from a well-established addictive disorder requires a major realignment of the psyche away from the artificial, unnatural and over-specialized dependence upon a substance or process for hedonic management, and towards a more natural, environmentally-attuned and above all flexible responsivity to internal and external stimuli. Instead of manipulating his mood and feeling state by the artificial means of chemicals that are completely unrelated to what is actually going on within and around the individual, the recovering addict gradually and often painfully learns to operate on his own resources. And because his own resources are many times inadequate for satisfactory mood and hedonic control, he must also acquire new methods of cultivating good feelings and avoiding bad ones.

The fellowship, interpersonal and social learning, and the spiritual and cognitive resources of 12 Step and other recovery programs can be of enormous assistance in helping the recovering addict to learn such new coping strategies."

soberlicious

"Would it be within the realm of possible for me to procure a cylindrical shaped vessel of liquid composed of 2:1 hydrogen:oxygen?"

In other words..."Hey, may I have a glass of water?"

Sometimes I think the recovery movement overcomplicates things.

Seriously?!

Soberpotamus

I think my mom must have thought this until the very end.

CharlieNoogan

Well, the article is a scholarly research and position paper by a medical doctor. It was not originally written for an uneducated public audience.

Perhaps think of it as a way to exercise your brain and fight PAWS... Or, you could summarize it in layman's terms as a service to this forum if you think it is too difficult to understand rather than condemning the work.

soberlicious

I don't think it's too difficult for anyone to understand, I think its riduclously worded. Because I think this is an example of how the recovery movement overcomplicates things, I said so. This is a discussion forum after all.

I'll pass on summarizing the glaringly obvious points made by the scholarly doctor, but thanks for the suggestion, Noogan.

Elphaba

I agree with Soberlicious. To me it reads as though the author has spent considerable time theorizing addiction, but has ultimately not experienced it. I think that's what's great about this site is you get various perspectives from people who have lived it.

Received

That article sounds like a whole lot of crazy to me however my AV just loves complicated junk like that, lol.

Oh well. I'm sure the "scholarly" doctor is feeling very scholarly.