pyjamarama

Hi

I am a 56 year old guy who has been a heavy drinker fo the best part of 40 years - apart from the last 25 days that is - during which time I have stopped. Many on here have, I am sure, similar experiences.

Yesterday, I spent a day at a cricket match. For those of you who dont understand cricket - it starts at 11 am and finishes at 7.30 pm. The bar is open all day. Yesterday, I realised that I dont actually like cricket - I just like drinking at the bar all day.....

On the way home my wife suggested we stop at a retaurant. In the end we didn't, because, frankly I didnt want to - normally I would. However, it occurred to me that the only reason I ever go to restaurants is because it gives me an excuse to buy (and drink) a bottle of wine...or two.

In fact, if I am honest, I would have enjoyed the whole day a lot more on my own - that isnt to say that my wife and I get on pretty well - but when you're drinking it's nice to have someone to talk to and give you a lift home....but if you're not drinking......?

So what''s this post about? - well maybe I have just realised that everything I do is about booze - and I mean everything. And I am wondering what there is in life without it - yesterday would sure have been a whole lot more fun.

Yesterday I was tempted (of course) - international cricket matches in England are completely and totally dedicated to booze (adverts, sponsors etc etc) but I am now wrestling with a more fundamental point than willpower. If I give up booze, what else is there?

blueshades

It's a good question, pyjamarama. Most of the folks I've gotten to know here have so many reasons to quit drinking. I've become aware of just how unavailable I have been for people, including my dear wife, over the many years I've carried on. This is to say that what awaits you may be what you cannot see at this point in time. Based on my experience, I think you will be surprised at how many insights you'll gain after just a few days of sobriety. Why not try it and see for yourself?

awuh1

Whats left? Simply life the universe and everything! Booze has been making you think IT is everything... and that’s the big lie.

Dee74

Hi Pyjamarama

Look around - read some stories - you'll see it's not a case of what's left when we quit, but rather whats revealed

5 years ago my life revolved around booze too...these days I'm happier, healthier, more productive, my relationships are better, I look forward to every new day and I can look myself in the face in the mirror.

ok...stopping drinking will probably not do all that for you on it's own...it takes some work beyond that too...but it's the start of the process

It's a leap of faith to stop drinking...but it's one I've never regretted

welcome aboard

D

hypochondriac

25 days is still early on in the process Pyjamarama. I understand what you mean because I have had these feelings myself, but I think it is part of the addiction to be sober for a few days and think 'well that was rubbish, I may as well get drunk!'. If you have been drinking for 40 years, maybe give it a few more days/weeks/months/years before you give up on sober life

Also, early on in recovery a lot of us avoid places where we'd normally be drinking because it usually kicks the cravings off big time. To be honest, you have just spent the entire day in a drinking situation and instead of caving and giving in you just felt a bit bored, to which I'll say bloody well done!

It feels like everything is about alcohol when you first quit but I think that a lot of that is just our own focus. Have you ever read a book or watched a film years apart and seen different things in it because you were different? Eventually alcohol becomes less important to us and it doesn't seem to be everywhere. There is plenty of other stuff out there and plenty of sports more interesting than cricket

Welcome to SR Pyjamarama x

DarkDays

My friend Life is infinitely better without booze, you are in very very early days your addictive voice is talking to you. I have spent all day at cricket, even when I was drinking heavy I have done a day before without drinking and watched it and enjoyed it.

You have been brainwashed for 40 years, you body and Brain has been poisoned by this drug. I am only at 7 months sober still very very early days and things are really starting to get better, the clarity and clear thinking are simply wonderful.

Give yourself time, you have so much to look forward to .

pyjamarama

I appreciate the encoragement, and I intend to give it a while longer yet. Actually the encouragement means more than I thought - people close to me don't know how hard this is....

freshstart57

Pyjamarama, welcome to the team! I agree with hypochondriac in giving your some very strong congratulations on your achievement. That is wonderful, and no mean achievement. We are both 'of a certain age', with similar history, just so you know.

Have a look at this, it may bring some balance to your analysis. 30 Great Reasons to Quit Drinking Alcohol.

At first, the lack of drama was a little unsettling, but the serenity and inner peace that have replaced that pervasive feeling of unease are things I will never ever give up. I wish you the same peace and serenity that I have found, Pajamarama.

sugarbear1

Welcome to SR!

Everything is wonderful without booze! What do you like to do? Do you and wife have any common passions? It's time to start living! Give time time, you are barely into sobriety right now and for the first year, everything keeps getting different!~

Glad you are here!

Anna

I felt the same way. In fact, it stopped me from giving up alcohol for a long time. Believe me there is life after alcohol and you can find lots of healthy ways to enjoy your life. As Dee said, it takes more than stopping drinking. That's just the beginning of the journey, but it's a great journey.

doggonecarl

First of all, congrats on 25 days. Of course there is life after alcohol. But you probably aren't going to recognize it after just a couple weeks.

I felt the same way and now that I have almost two years sober, I can't believe how freeing it is not to have to rely on alcohol to give my life meaning.

Alcohol, and my addiction to it, was a chain. Now that I'm sober, I'm free.

You can be free too!

Roxo

keep up the good work Ialso loved eveything a litttle more with a cocktail but the greatest feeling is waking up in the morning not feeling ashamed or guilty for what you cant remember from the night of on to many martinis , exercise helps me alot ,forget cricket

Dee74

welcome roxo

D

Itchy

Congrats on the 25 days! Woo hoo!

I qyuiot when I was 58 and now am a much healthier 60!

From about six months sober I realized that we indeed need to start with a clean slate, and here it is before us, and many times we look at the blank canvas we asked for, and we see the paints we can use and choose, and that the brushes are all cleaned and ready, but for some reason we say we can't, when won't is really the truth we need to face. I was afraid I would bung it up again.

We CAN do this thing right called life, we have given ourselves that second chance that many wish for, and don't recognize it when it arrives. In our case, we made that second chance happen. Now all we have to do is use it. For me easier said than done, but I am working on it too.

See I was removed. I could not conceive of how much money I wasted on three packs of smokes a day and more than 30 drinks a day!

Taking all that money were I younger I could afford to go Ski, skydive, scuba dive, run, buy and ride a fancy bicycle, buy and ride a fancy motorcycle, get a new car cash saving up first, take a cruise or holiday more often, whatever. Think!

Drinking causes us to be at effect in our lives instead of at cause in them. Being at cause takes a lot of work and effort. But at least now I have the strength and clear head to do it.

There is life after drinking. Don't believe it just stroll on over to the Olympic games and ask some of them what life has to offer when drinking alcohol is taken out of the equation.

neferkamichael

Hi pyjamarama, I'm 58 and was an addict for the better part of 42 years, and I am now 2 years 26 days sober. Yes there is actually more life without the booze. Alcohol and other psychoactive chemicals help produce a chemical in the brain called dopamine. Basically dopamine = satisfaction. All you have to do to be satisfied is drink a can of beer. Believe it or not the same things happens when you win a cricket match. Dopamine is produced and you are satisfied. Chemicals like alcohol are the easy way to be satisfied, but unfortunately a body builds up a tolerance and it takes more and more to become satisfied. One of the things that has satisfied me is reading chemistry and human physiology books that allowed me to write what I just did. I now do things that I always wanted to do. Maybe think about doing things that you always wanted to do with your life that drinking robbed you of the time necessary to do time. By the way 26 days. You are FANTASTIC. Congratulations.

Eddiebuckle

PJ,

I gave up drinking a little earlier than you have, but I can totally relate to that sentiment because it was exactly what I felt at first. I was 43 and had a good job, never got arrested for anything, never had any obvious health issues, and I drank every day as a matter of choice (or so I convinced myself). Drinking was not just a habit, it was how I identified myself. Giving up drinking very much felt like giving up the bigger part of me, and I expected that I would spend the rest of my days wanting to drink but knowing that I could not.

So, coming up on 1,000 days sober, what else is there after I quit drinking? Peace, self acceptance, and most of all choice. I choose how to live my life, as opposed to making my life of what was left after drinking. And I have to say that I was woefully ignorant how little was left after drinking. If you are an alcoholic, sobriety is a whole lot more than simply not having a bottle of wine over dinner, and it takes a lot of time and effort to get to a place of enjoying all of life as a sober person. But I can say without reservation that the life I live now is not merely better than I expected, I would not have believed a life like this was possible for me.

Keep the faith, and good luck!

tomsteve

i was 36 when i got into recovery. i started drinkin about 13 ish or somewhere around there. as time went on, all the activities i did to have fun without alcohol nand activities i could do while drinking took over.
i really didnt know how to enjoy life sober. i dodnt know how to have fun! everything had revolved around alcohol. so... i had to learn what i liked to do. the only way i could learn tha is by trying different things. i have gotten into many different hobbies/interests since i got into recovery. i got into woodworking big time for a few years. recently, i have gotten into auto body repair and have been doin quite a bit of it. i recently picked up an 83 f100 that i'm doin a ground up resto on( and its actually gonna be for me instead of makin other peoples rides look better!). it was something i've always wanted to do, but could bnever do when drunk. well, actually, i wanted a 69 mustang to do, but conceded that was out of the picture and this just happened. so now i'm doin this resto and relearnin stuff from a long time ago and learnin new stuff and havin fun doin it.
so, my point is, its just a matter of lookin and seein what ya may be interested in and givin it a shot.maybe get out and play some cricket???

kittycat3

You will never know unless you try!

You may find if you don't change your routine that you continue to be surrounded by boozy friends, events, etc. Is that all that's out there, or is that just where you have gravitated because that's what you have been looking for? I can assure you there is a whole new world out there without alcohol, but you gotta see it for yourself!

David 1

Blackouts, hangovers, health issues, progressively worse, harmful to relationships and career, not dealing with emotions, disappointment; is there any question that life with alcohol is up for debate?

Dave

lizak

Aww, don't worry about it. The mice and the dolphins will make keep you fed and comfortable.