The thought of failing and relapsing makes me feel very angry.
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Ireland
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The thought of failing and relapsing makes me feel very angry.
I can't explain it but I've felt angry tonight at myself for all the other times I've tried to escape from this mess and failed by flippantly drinking booze to relax and thinking it was no big deal.
It makes me really angry.
The only positive to come of this is that I'm channelling this into more reading into the SMART book and ex drinkers testimonials.
Bit of a pointless post but I thought I'd get it off my chest.
It makes me really angry.
The only positive to come of this is that I'm channelling this into more reading into the SMART book and ex drinkers testimonials.
Bit of a pointless post but I thought I'd get it off my chest.
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Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Here, Now
Posts: 4,268
You can remember the past and perhaps learn from it but you don't have to let it stir up anger or other nonproductive emotions which may mask what your doing and feeling In the now which is the only time that is. Its always now all else is a shadow. Its always in the here and now and this is where it begins. I can think. Now I'm not drinking and this brings me satisfaction. Just a thought, nothing more.
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northern Ireland
Posts: 413
Originally Posted by MycoolFitz 
You can remember the past and perhaps learn from it but you don't have to let it stir up anger or other nonproductive emotions which may mask what your doing and feeling In the now which is the only time that is. Its always now all else is a shadow. Its always in the here and now and this is where it begins. I can think. Now I'm not drinking and this brings me satisfaction. Just a thought, nothing more.
Very Zen like. Transmuting anger and fear into joy in the now!
heartofamama
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 70
i think it's a great post, elvis...
very real... i feel your pain.
today i also was in an angry place.
frustrated-- i guess-- over having to keep going in circles, beginning again, & tired of trying. mad at myself, really, for failure.
it's helps me just to know you all are out there. keep goin'....
today i also was in an angry place.
frustrated-- i guess-- over having to keep going in circles, beginning again, & tired of trying. mad at myself, really, for failure.
it's helps me just to know you all are out there. keep goin'....
Laozi Old Man
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Detroit, MI
Posts: 6,665
Originally Posted by ElvisInASkirt
The thought of failing and relapsing makes me feel very angry.
I was constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop - which it eventually did. Sobriety just did not seem like it was worth it under those circumstances. I needed to find a way to relax and forget about the responsibility of having to carry a burden on my back.
Today a live in recovery and delegate my sobriety to a higher power. It may not make sense but it works anyway.
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