What happened that your first thought was 'i want a drink' but stayed sober!
...is awesome!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Australia
Posts: 107
What happened that your first thought was 'i want a drink' but stayed sober!
Thought this might be nice to share those moments in recovery where we have had yucky, messy, horrible experiences, sometimes not really the end of the world and others life altering changes.
I had the worst afternoon but knowing that I didn't pick up a drink through it has made it not seem all that bad after all.
The washing that ive been trying to get dry for the last 3 days including pretty much all my kids warm clothes, were nearly dry, so hung them on the line for a final dry when it finally seemed the sun was here to stay. Well they got soaked didn't they. My two year old twins refused to have a nap and were running wild because now they are in 'big boy beds' and I can't cage them in lol. One twin does a 'number 3' on the kitchen floor. Clean that all up. Realise I need more asthma medication so get them in the car to the chemist. Other twin power spews everywhere. Get to the chemist, prescription has expired and I cant afford to buy it over the counter so basically if I get asthma im stuffed til tomorrow cos nothing is open. Get home, clean up the vom, give him a bath and because I assumed he had spewed choking on a biccy I brought him into bed with me and his brother to chill out before bed. Power spews in my bed. Its now 9pm and both are fighting over toys and im dreading actually putting them to bed cos its a nightmare (used to be 7pm sharp in cots...now sometimes 10pm in beds :-/). I did have that thought to drink...I wanted it, but the thought came, I acknowledged it, told it to bugger off and moved on to new thoughts. Anyway that was my lil triumph, hope your not too grossed out. Tell me about yours!?
I had the worst afternoon but knowing that I didn't pick up a drink through it has made it not seem all that bad after all.
The washing that ive been trying to get dry for the last 3 days including pretty much all my kids warm clothes, were nearly dry, so hung them on the line for a final dry when it finally seemed the sun was here to stay. Well they got soaked didn't they. My two year old twins refused to have a nap and were running wild because now they are in 'big boy beds' and I can't cage them in lol. One twin does a 'number 3' on the kitchen floor. Clean that all up. Realise I need more asthma medication so get them in the car to the chemist. Other twin power spews everywhere. Get to the chemist, prescription has expired and I cant afford to buy it over the counter so basically if I get asthma im stuffed til tomorrow cos nothing is open. Get home, clean up the vom, give him a bath and because I assumed he had spewed choking on a biccy I brought him into bed with me and his brother to chill out before bed. Power spews in my bed. Its now 9pm and both are fighting over toys and im dreading actually putting them to bed cos its a nightmare (used to be 7pm sharp in cots...now sometimes 10pm in beds :-/). I did have that thought to drink...I wanted it, but the thought came, I acknowledged it, told it to bugger off and moved on to new thoughts. Anyway that was my lil triumph, hope your not too grossed out. Tell me about yours!?
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 2,826
LIZ--You are amazing! Cheers on you. Hope today is MUCH MUCH BETTER.
Good for you for telling the thought to bugger off.
My plans changed yesterday due to car troubles. Instead of a fun night with girlfriends, I was home alone. (That probably sounds like HEAVEN to you, lol.) It's hard for me, lol. I didn't give up and I didn't give in.
Instead I made a list, paid some bills, some housework, some gardening, made a healthy dinner, got into jammies, read some SR, then to bed. This morning I'm sober and the car is fixed. Not so bad after all!
I've had more than a few rotten, annoying, frustrating, tiring experiences these past 60 days. I think we can help each other by sharing.
Good for you for telling the thought to bugger off.
My plans changed yesterday due to car troubles. Instead of a fun night with girlfriends, I was home alone. (That probably sounds like HEAVEN to you, lol.) It's hard for me, lol. I didn't give up and I didn't give in.
Instead I made a list, paid some bills, some housework, some gardening, made a healthy dinner, got into jammies, read some SR, then to bed. This morning I'm sober and the car is fixed. Not so bad after all!
I've had more than a few rotten, annoying, frustrating, tiring experiences these past 60 days. I think we can help each other by sharing.
Day 34
Join Date: May 2011
Location: New York
Posts: 48
I work from home, and I have a single beer that is the upper desk drawer on my computer desk. It has been there since my second attempt of recovery, I am now on Day 16 of my third attempt. Anyways, that beer in my desk drawer has special meaning, I lost my father last year (not due to alcohol) and we always used to enjoy the occasional beer together, and that was the last beer from the last case we shared together. I relapsed my second time because "i thought I had it under control", this time around I'm smarter.
Anyways, I've recently dealt with a relationship break up, and I wanted nothing more then to throw back an 18 pack, but I didn't. I realized for once the problems would still be there in the morning whether I drank a case or didn't. When I feel tempted at times, as weird as it may sound, I look at the year old full can of beer i keep near me and think that my father would want me to be healthy in life, and not continue down a destructive path.
I was proud of myself that i didn't attempt to drown out my feelings, as going through a break up can be very tough, but i stood my ground this time, and it felt great. Just my 2 cents.
Anyways, I've recently dealt with a relationship break up, and I wanted nothing more then to throw back an 18 pack, but I didn't. I realized for once the problems would still be there in the morning whether I drank a case or didn't. When I feel tempted at times, as weird as it may sound, I look at the year old full can of beer i keep near me and think that my father would want me to be healthy in life, and not continue down a destructive path.
I was proud of myself that i didn't attempt to drown out my feelings, as going through a break up can be very tough, but i stood my ground this time, and it felt great. Just my 2 cents.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 6,262
It was when I took a huge amount of meds during a blackout and came very close to dying. Twenty years later I still have no idea why I decided to take a bottle of pills.
That's what it took for me.
That's what it took for me.
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 1,028
I wish I could say I had a life altering moment but I didn't. I basically could feel my body starting to give up. On the outside I looked good but on the inside - not so much! Day 21 here!
I do have to say, I knew I was very close to losing EVERYTHING. I knew it was coming. It makes me so sad still thinking about how far I went/got with my drinking. Just crazy.
I do have to say, I knew I was very close to losing EVERYTHING. I knew it was coming. It makes me so sad still thinking about how far I went/got with my drinking. Just crazy.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 51
I'm only on day 6 but I understand what you mean. It's all about keeping busy when the thought comes into your head, even for a few minutes.
Like last night, I got my usual Saturday night phone calls and texts to go to the pub. I started wondering who'd be in the bar, would there be much happening, etc.
Then I just thought to myself, "get that out of your head". In my last relapse, I was sitting there thinking that for ages and ages and, eventually gave in. I know that that is the wrong way to go about it because you just put yourself through torture.
Last night, I thought it for a split second and then turned my thoughts to something else - making myself a coffee. I recently switched from instant coffee to buying the roasted beans. There's a hell of a difference and I now enjoy my coffee rather than just drink it to keep me awake.
Anyway, I use one of those manual grinders and then an Aeropress to make it. The whole thing takes 5-10 minutes and then 20 minutes enjoying the cuppa.
By the time I'd finished it, any notion of going out had subsided. Done the trick for me anyway.
I do intend to go out eventually but not so early in my recovery. Here's hoping my good intentions stick.
Now, I must go and ring the friends and laugh at them with their mammoth hangovers.
Like last night, I got my usual Saturday night phone calls and texts to go to the pub. I started wondering who'd be in the bar, would there be much happening, etc.
Then I just thought to myself, "get that out of your head". In my last relapse, I was sitting there thinking that for ages and ages and, eventually gave in. I know that that is the wrong way to go about it because you just put yourself through torture.
Last night, I thought it for a split second and then turned my thoughts to something else - making myself a coffee. I recently switched from instant coffee to buying the roasted beans. There's a hell of a difference and I now enjoy my coffee rather than just drink it to keep me awake.
Anyway, I use one of those manual grinders and then an Aeropress to make it. The whole thing takes 5-10 minutes and then 20 minutes enjoying the cuppa.
By the time I'd finished it, any notion of going out had subsided. Done the trick for me anyway.
I do intend to go out eventually but not so early in my recovery. Here's hoping my good intentions stick.
Now, I must go and ring the friends and laugh at them with their mammoth hangovers.
Grateful to be free
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Arizona
Posts: 3,680
My last time out, I attempted and got real close to succeeding at suicide. What a mess! Scared the snot out of my room mate and boyfriend. My next door neighbor cleaned up my vomit which was all over the house, even splattered on the walls. My phone died, and my computer got puked on. I horrified and inconvenienced many people I dearly love.
When I want to use, I realize that I owe it to all those people to stay clean. To not put myself and them through that again. That wanting to get high, and escape the day is not reason enough to give the big FU to my Greater Power, the people who love me, and even my pet goldfish who would get left behind.
I recall how proud and productive I was during the times I was clean and practicing my recovery principles, and how I don't want to lose that again. I remind myself that the longer I stay clean and the more I apply the principles of recovery, the less often I will want to use.
Those are the things that are helping me stay clean, today, through cravings.
When I want to use, I realize that I owe it to all those people to stay clean. To not put myself and them through that again. That wanting to get high, and escape the day is not reason enough to give the big FU to my Greater Power, the people who love me, and even my pet goldfish who would get left behind.
I recall how proud and productive I was during the times I was clean and practicing my recovery principles, and how I don't want to lose that again. I remind myself that the longer I stay clean and the more I apply the principles of recovery, the less often I will want to use.
Those are the things that are helping me stay clean, today, through cravings.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 6,262
Liz ... reading your post makes me want to drink!!
When I've wanted to drink is never when some big awful event -- like 9/11, death of my dog, death, watever -- happens. It's being in a very elegant dinner with non-alcoholics drinking fine wine out of beautiful crystal; typically a business function. That's when I really want to drink.
When I've wanted to drink is never when some big awful event -- like 9/11, death of my dog, death, watever -- happens. It's being in a very elegant dinner with non-alcoholics drinking fine wine out of beautiful crystal; typically a business function. That's when I really want to drink.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Spain
Posts: 298
Last night I wanted to drink, but I didn't. Just I got home, entered in SR, had some reading. I thought that I will lose my 73 days of sobriety --my longer time ever-- just for having a couple of hours of "fun". I thought the next morning I will feel awful, and will have to pass again all that anxiety, restless... etc. I got home and get to bed. OK.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 1,237
Some days are better than others....but it gets easier...I will be 18 months sober in a couple of weeks, and there are still days where I "want A drink" but one leads to another....and so on...I think that is what keeps me sober..is my knowledge that I can't stop at just one drink....and maintaining for me is just not an option...and life would spiral fast downhill...I like who I am becoming.and look forward to what life has to offer me without booze....
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: the high desert
Posts: 887
There are days and times i wish i could have a drink. Thing is, i can't have "a" drink. So it just isn't an option for me. When my thoughts turn to that, i try to turn to helping others, especially alcoholics.
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