Bellasprogram

I have to ask that question even though I may not like the answer. Does a person have to attend meetings, get a sponsor, work the 12 steps etc. in order to maintain a happy, healthy life without liquor?

bellakeller

This person does. I tried everything - just beer or wine, just drinking between the hours of 5 and 6, just drinking on weekends, just drinking at home, just drinking away from home, going to AA meetings without a sponsor, going to AA with a sponsor but not working the steps, going to AA meetings with a sponsor, working the steps, without an HP...ad nauseum. I tried everything BUT what people told me to do because I was going to be different and I was going to beat this thing on my own because I am smart and I am special and I am not like "them" or anyone else. I picked and chose suggestions, I took what (I thought) I needed and left the rest. None of this worked until I finally hit a horrible bottom, let go absolutely and decided to cling to the program. At that point I was so desperate, I didn't care if I was joining a cult; I didn't care if there were Bible thumpers running the meetings; I didn't care anymore that I am agnostic - I needed to take everything; not as a suggestion, but as a requisite if I was going to survive. That's just me.

If you knew me in real life you'd know that I am not a "joiner", I dance to the tune of a different drummer, I am not by any means "conservative" and I am not a sheep; I don't run with the pack. But in this one thing in life, I have to make an exception. I'd be dead without this program and some outside help.

Peace!

Mcribb

I do. If I didn't I would have quit already. Murdering myself is a good way to tell if you know if you need help. You should just try it and see if it your tea, you just have to go until you start wanting go

littlefish

I am an AA-er, but I have known many people who quit without AA. If you peruse the site here, you will also notice that people successfully use a variety of non-AA programs and methods to stay sober.
The one thing I would advise though, is to have something in the way of a program, whatever you choose.
I started out with an outpatient rehab program and a therapist there. I then started with AA and did both for a while, now it is just AA.

Dee74

As littlefish said - there are many different members here and many different approaches at work

I myself did not use AA, but it's saved many of my friends lives.

D

Mcribb

I just read a blog from myself from 2008. 2 years of trying it my way so much lost I needed help. Open mind and put in sometime. It's funny I would play video games and waste time or energy on so manythings instead of the one thing I needed Love!

oak

I don't think any one program is the only way.

We are all similar and different. There are different approaches to recovery because not everyone needs the same thing for recovery. Of course, there are huge similarities. But we are also all different and separate.

I kept trying to find AA meetings that I felt comfortable with. I just gave up trying. I feel so much more committed to not drinking now. And so much more committed to recovering and creating a life worth living.

For me, there are lots of ways that AA does not fit for me, and trying to change myself or fit in was getting in the way of recovery. Or at least that is my current belief.

I am drawn to the Women for Sobriety groups and philosophy. I plan to check them out more. And I see a counselor for individual therapy which has been very helpful.

I hope you find what works for you very soon!

LexieCat

AA seems to work for those for whom nothing else works. I know many people who have good quality long-term sobriety without AA. But if what you're doing isn't working, it's time to try something different. It's good to keep an open mind and be honest with yourself. After many years of attempting to "moderate" my drinking, when I decided to quit, I went straight to AA. I decided I'd wasted enough time already and didn't want to waste more time exploring other options in favor of something I KNOW has been successful for many people I know.

least

I attended meetings in early sobriety but now don't go near as much. I'm having an easy time these days staying sober with the help from my addiction counselor and my own determination to live a sober life, not to mention the rewards for living sober make it an easy choice to stay that way. (no legal problems, fewer physical/health problems, no sickening memories, no morning-and-all-day sickness, no self loathing upon awakening... the list is endless)

There are many ways to stay sober. I am happy for anyone staying sober no matter how they're maintaining it.

totfit

Most people quit without AA, but AA is the largest recovery organization by far. It is really to each there own. You don't hear much about those that quit without a group, because there is no group. There are also other recovery groups besides AA, but not nearly as easy to find a meeting.

Fandy

i've used SR as my mainstay for sobriety, the advice and comradery(sp) is wonderful here. I also have a very stubborn mindset, strong will to improve my life and stop the cycle of self-destruction and depression.

I believe that you have to really change how you function and think along with stopping drinking.

as with any forum there are lots of different opinions and people will tell you what they think you should do...my reasoning is to read and gravitate towards what you feel comfortable with...sobriety is not one size fits all either, but you will find a lot of support and excellent advice here..and make some wonderful friends too.

ElegantlyWasted

You get out of it what you put into it. Try it and find out if it for you. There are also many other effective free diy and group programs out there as well, ie SMART Rational Recovery etc. Pay for play shrinks specializing in addiction are great as well. If you do; commit yourself to finding azsponsor and working the steps. At its worst its a good place to find sober people to hang out with; at its best its a life saving conversion experience.

Zencat

After much suffering I found the following to be true for me.
I tried to get clean/sober in a program that did not match my recovery needs. As a result I stayed stuck in active addiction. SMART Recovery and CBT addressed everything that I need in order to get and remain free from harmful addictive substances. As I grow in recovery I have expanded my addiction treatments to include a variety of helpful ideas that bring me greater overall well-being.

CarolD

No....AA is not the only way to find a healthier
more productive future.
AA is not for everyone...nor does it claim to be...

Some of our members are sucessfully happy non drinkers
who do not use any formal program...some do other
methods....and some of us are dedicated to AA recovery.

I know you are new to SR...I certainly hope you will
find something to fill your life with joy....

Anna

AA works for many, but you will find many different methods here on SR if you take a look around.

doggonecarl

Is AA Necessary?

I'm trying to go it alone, but armed with a much information I could gather on alcoholism, addiction, recovery and the various recovery programs. Will I make it? I hope so and will keep SR informed of my progress. I may be able to stop drinking without AA. But will I get my life in order without it or some other type of recovery program? That's the question!

yeahgr8

My counselor doesn't do AA and he's 23 years recovered...i write recovered because that is what he is...like some of the guys and girls in AA that do all you outlined...they recover...

Whats being recovered mean as opposed to being in recovery? For me recovered means being able to go where you want, when you want anddo what you want within your own discovered spiritual guidelines, e.g. maybe not walking into a bank and sticking it up! Alcohol doesn't feature in your life at all anymore...

All the times i was in recovery i had to think twice about things and always be on my guard...it sucked! If you go to AA look for the recovered not the recovering or you will be putting curfews on yourself and avoiding certain people, places and things for therest of your life or however long you manage to stay sober...don't get me wrong until you have a drastic enough change in yourself to become recovered one would definitely be recovering and should avoid all people, places and things associated with drinking/using:-)

Like anything AA works on what EW said, you get out what you put in...if not AA then choose another option and go for it...

In hindsight when i was trying all the other weird and wonderful things to stay sober before i got to AA...what i should have done is chosen one, really put all efforts into it and when i drunk again move onto the next route to recovery and repeat until i found what was right for me...then again none of us are of sound mind until we change inside bigtime anyway...so we could speculate all day...

Boleo

IMO there are many ways to get and stay sober;

Some are reliable.
Some are unreliable.
Some include happiness.
Some include misery.
Some are just tricks&tips to manage white-knuckled abstinence one-arduous-day-at-a-time.

AA seems to me to be the best of both the reliable and the happy way to stay sober. As long as this is a life and death matter, I want reliable. As long as I have to work a program for the rest of my life, I want the happy part as well.

dratsab

I think it depends on the person. My father quit drinking without a 12 step program. BUT he also ended up being a dry drunk who never resolved any of his issues that contributed to his alcoholism. I'd give AA a try and see how you like it. I just started an outpatient program that I go to after work every day. I was sooooo nervous to go and felt like going there was admitting failure (among a million other emotions). Now, I really look forward to going to my nightly meetings and talking with my group. Even if I don't talk that much, it helps to see other people who are going through the same thing. It's very therapeutic to meet people with completely different addiction histories than you but are going through the same process.

loveon2legs

I haven't gone to AA, and I am going on 9 months sober...I have read alot of recovery books, I'm taking a meditation class, and now seeing an addiction counselor...and of course SR.....I'm dedicated to living a clean and sober life...and picking up tools here and there to aid me along my journey! There is no right or wrong way....just go with what feels good for you! xo