What's next after recovery?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: CA
Posts: 1
What's next after recovery?
Hi,
I used drugs and alcohol everyday by myself until I blacked out for 6 years, from age 18 to 24. I got sober in the fellowship of AA in Los Angeles. I've been sober for 1 and a half years. I've worked all twelve steps thoroughly. I've got a sponsor. I've been to at least 250 meetings, have had many commitments, called several alcoholics everyday, basically what I'm saying is that I've followed all the suggestions to the letter.
My question now is what do I do now?
I'm 26 years old and I don't have any desire to drink or use anymore. Life is much better now than it was, but I don't want to go to meetings seven days a week, and go out to coffee with other alcoholics every friday and saturday night for the rest of my life. I want to do other things with my life, but I don't know where to start.
I'm not talking about my profession, i've got a good job in the field I love that I enjoy. That's a non-issue.
What do I do with my social life? I have no problem going to bars and LOVE to go out dancing, but the problem is no one I know goes out. 99 percent of my friends are sober. I do not approach women in the rooms, so I do not date at all in AA. I've dated on the internet a lot, but the women I've dated have been either very boring, or very insane.
What do I do with myself outside of AA? I didn't get sober to spend my whole life in AA. I firmly believe that is a waste of life, and a cowardly way to live. The point of AA is to recover so that I can go back to leading a normal life. I'm not saying that I don't want AA in my life, just that I want something else in my life in addition to AA and don't know how to do it.
I used drugs and alcohol everyday by myself until I blacked out for 6 years, from age 18 to 24. I got sober in the fellowship of AA in Los Angeles. I've been sober for 1 and a half years. I've worked all twelve steps thoroughly. I've got a sponsor. I've been to at least 250 meetings, have had many commitments, called several alcoholics everyday, basically what I'm saying is that I've followed all the suggestions to the letter.
My question now is what do I do now?
I'm 26 years old and I don't have any desire to drink or use anymore. Life is much better now than it was, but I don't want to go to meetings seven days a week, and go out to coffee with other alcoholics every friday and saturday night for the rest of my life. I want to do other things with my life, but I don't know where to start.
I'm not talking about my profession, i've got a good job in the field I love that I enjoy. That's a non-issue.
What do I do with my social life? I have no problem going to bars and LOVE to go out dancing, but the problem is no one I know goes out. 99 percent of my friends are sober. I do not approach women in the rooms, so I do not date at all in AA. I've dated on the internet a lot, but the women I've dated have been either very boring, or very insane.
What do I do with myself outside of AA? I didn't get sober to spend my whole life in AA. I firmly believe that is a waste of life, and a cowardly way to live. The point of AA is to recover so that I can go back to leading a normal life. I'm not saying that I don't want AA in my life, just that I want something else in my life in addition to AA and don't know how to do it.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 4,682
Hi
What you have done for yourself, and are doing, is amazing!
This year i have to start taking up my work colleagues on offers of meeting up and doing stuff, e.g. meals out, beach, meet ups. Is there anyway to get some sort of social life through this avenue, maybe meeting people through a colleague would ensure avoiding crazy women to an extent?
What you have done for yourself, and are doing, is amazing!
This year i have to start taking up my work colleagues on offers of meeting up and doing stuff, e.g. meals out, beach, meet ups. Is there anyway to get some sort of social life through this avenue, maybe meeting people through a colleague would ensure avoiding crazy women to an extent?
Thriving sober since 12/18/08
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Orlando, FL
Posts: 3,115
Yep, live... thrive...
I don't go to AA, or have AA friends, or AA coffee nights out.. so although very new to sobriety, I'm kinda already in my "now what". Now I do everything I was doing or wanted to do, just sober. And I like to try new things. And work out. And watch movies, read new books, try new recipes, yoga, spend quality time with family.. pet my dogs more, call my friends and just chat without my 'alcohol induced gregariousness'.. ANYTHING I WANT TO
I don't go to AA, or have AA friends, or AA coffee nights out.. so although very new to sobriety, I'm kinda already in my "now what". Now I do everything I was doing or wanted to do, just sober. And I like to try new things. And work out. And watch movies, read new books, try new recipes, yoga, spend quality time with family.. pet my dogs more, call my friends and just chat without my 'alcohol induced gregariousness'.. ANYTHING I WANT TO
Member
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Boston MA
Posts: 666
Hmmmm... what's next? I struggled with that question early on, but now its not a problem. Besides working daily on my recovery I read, hike, play with my kids, go to the gym, study, progress in my career. I write, make lesson plans, skate, eat (way too much) an live.
I'm involved with local politics, working on my doctorate, am a union activist, partcipate in my daughters' schools parent council, go to sporting events, serve on my schools faculty senate, as union rep, instructional leadership team, and school site council.
Sometimes it seems too much, but it is all worth it. Believe me, at one and a half years sobriety, I had my share of questions and lonely nights. Sometimes I wish i was back there, but that's just sentmentality. I didn't like it then, and it wasn't easy. I hear what you're going through.
Life has a way of working out. Keep sober, keep strong, and I bet life will get more interesting. Mine has.
Mike
I'm involved with local politics, working on my doctorate, am a union activist, partcipate in my daughters' schools parent council, go to sporting events, serve on my schools faculty senate, as union rep, instructional leadership team, and school site council.
Sometimes it seems too much, but it is all worth it. Believe me, at one and a half years sobriety, I had my share of questions and lonely nights. Sometimes I wish i was back there, but that's just sentmentality. I didn't like it then, and it wasn't easy. I hear what you're going through.
Life has a way of working out. Keep sober, keep strong, and I bet life will get more interesting. Mine has.
Mike
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Colorado Springs, CO
Posts: 2,391
I second the volunteering. There are many organizations that need volunteers. Find a cause and work with it. Big Brothers may be a good one for you, you've been through a lot and would probably be a great Big Brother. I became a CASA (Court Appointed Special Advocate National CASA) because I thought maybe I wanted to be a foster parent. It turned out that I wasn't in a place to be a foster parent but being a CASA definitely has opened my eyes. Years ago I also volunteered with an Adult Literacy program where we worked with adults who either couldn't read or English was their second language. Those are just a few I can think of. My mother has always been big on volunteering and even in retirement volunteers at the library. I've met some amazing people in the programs that I've volunteered with.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 165
If there is a community college or community schools program in your area look into taking a class or two in an area that you are interested. Where I live there are adult education classes in a variety of topics; acting/theatre, cooking, pottery and other arts, yoga, literature, swimming, weight training/physcial fitness, gardening, writing, bike repair, web design and on and on. Taking a class is a great way to foster creativity as well as meet new people.
Congratulations on your sobriety and best wishes to you on your continuing journey. Peace.
Congratulations on your sobriety and best wishes to you on your continuing journey. Peace.
Adventures In SpaceTime
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Ottawa, Canada
Posts: 5,827
Originally Posted by donovangreene 
Hi,
I used drugs and alcohol everyday by myself until I blacked out for 6 years, from age 18 to 24. I got sober in the fellowship of AA in Los Angeles. I've been sober for 1 and a half years. I've worked all twelve steps thoroughly. I've got a sponsor. I've been to at least 250 meetings, have had many commitments, called several alcoholics everyday, basically what I'm saying is that I've followed all the suggestions to the letter.
My question now is what do I do now?
I'm not saying that I don't want AA in my life, just that I want something else in my life in addition to AA and don't know how to do it.
I used drugs and alcohol everyday by myself until I blacked out for 6 years, from age 18 to 24. I got sober in the fellowship of AA in Los Angeles. I've been sober for 1 and a half years. I've worked all twelve steps thoroughly. I've got a sponsor. I've been to at least 250 meetings, have had many commitments, called several alcoholics everyday, basically what I'm saying is that I've followed all the suggestions to the letter.
My question now is what do I do now?
I'm not saying that I don't want AA in my life, just that I want something else in my life in addition to AA and don't know how to do it.
congratulations on your good success. your question is a great beginning for a great life. IMO recovery is an everyday path we proactively live our lives on happily trudging along. we are not a glum lot. There is nothing "after" recovery except more recovery, lol. recovery = life = recovery = social life.
seperating recovery from social life is an interesting thing, and maybe even attractive to accomplish in a selfish manner, although i see doing that makes the risk of relapse too high, and so i always keep my recovery front and center of my entire life.
i am thinking a good solid recovery always enhances a social life and does not hinder it, really, in any way that is meaningful or important.in truth, methinks, a good honest and happy person has very little to worry about not having an active social life that is rewarding and full of friendships from all walks of life. happiness attracts happiness. success builds success. friendships are there own reward. [social] life in recovery is sweeet!!
:ghug2
RR
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Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 163
Co-ed sports teams are a great activity for sober people. My friends play hurley, Gaelic football, footie, softball, and run. There's some drinking because folks who aren't us can drink, but it's not a requirement.
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