What is a Relapse, exactly?
Thriving sober since 12/18/08
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Orlando, FL
Posts: 3,115
Just wanted to weigh in on this...
First off, I hate the word "relapse". People with cancer have a relapse. People with Multiple Sclerosis have a relapse. To me it sounds like something that happens TO me, not BECAUSE of me, so I just don't use the word. Only my opinion...
However.. I would define it like this (relapse, slip up.. whatever). I am an alcoholic. If I drank alcohol again I would be "relapsing" back into old ways. I would start at day one, after one purposeful swallow. I'm not going to play with my sobriety..I work too damn hard on it.
First off, I hate the word "relapse". People with cancer have a relapse. People with Multiple Sclerosis have a relapse. To me it sounds like something that happens TO me, not BECAUSE of me, so I just don't use the word. Only my opinion...
However.. I would define it like this (relapse, slip up.. whatever). I am an alcoholic. If I drank alcohol again I would be "relapsing" back into old ways. I would start at day one, after one purposeful swallow. I'm not going to play with my sobriety..I work too damn hard on it.
IO Storm
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Southern California
Posts: 18,436
Okay...let's keep it simple.
I was in NA...heard folks saying they "only drank now"...
You've heard my story..how I lied to myself {and cheated myself) by using
but not drinking and saying I was sober.
What I failed to clarify earlier was that my last drink was 2/17/06...my
last pill..6/8/06. Four months later. I was sober but I was so "dirty",
and still so sick. So my clean and sober date?
June 8, 2006.
So I will throw this out...
Do any of you think a person can continue to use and say one is sober?
We are as sick as our secrets...
Any takers?
I was in NA...heard folks saying they "only drank now"...
You've heard my story..how I lied to myself {and cheated myself) by using
but not drinking and saying I was sober.
What I failed to clarify earlier was that my last drink was 2/17/06...my
last pill..6/8/06. Four months later. I was sober but I was so "dirty",
and still so sick. So my clean and sober date?
June 8, 2006.
So I will throw this out...
Do any of you think a person can continue to use and say one is sober?
We are as sick as our secrets...
Any takers?
Leap of Faith Survivor
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 4,555
My thoughts exactly..IO...as I was reading down through this thread, I was thinking about my drug of choice(weed)...I still have the odd craving even though my sobriety date is July2003...oh I could probably get away with a small splif and let it go ...actually tho my fear is that I couldn't let it go......but it has taken me all these years to realize what 'sober' means to me and how critical that choice is...I am bipolar 2 and cannot tolerate anything that alters my brain chemistry......I treasure my sober life that allows me to be whole, vibrant and true....brain chemistry intact......the lie I would tell myself would jeopardize all of that...and I would no long be sober...for me, its not the number of joints.........its a state of mind.....
Last edited by grateful2b; 01-03-2009 at 08:06 PM.
IO Storm
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Southern California
Posts: 18,436
Thanks g2b...
Wow..you are a brave one! I had to get off..and thought..sheeesh. Why did I
leave an open ended question like that? It seemed presumptive and somewhat
judgemental. My point is..After 16 years of being in and out of AA, and maintaining
my sobriety with "something else"...I finally got my miracle.
Clean and sober. Two years 7 months in a few days. Just the inner peace of it,
is something I wouldn't trade for that old "buzz"..any old day.
And I never thought it would happen to me.
Wow..you are a brave one! I had to get off..and thought..sheeesh. Why did I
leave an open ended question like that? It seemed presumptive and somewhat
judgemental. My point is..After 16 years of being in and out of AA, and maintaining
my sobriety with "something else"...I finally got my miracle.
Clean and sober. Two years 7 months in a few days. Just the inner peace of it,
is something I wouldn't trade for that old "buzz"..any old day.
And I never thought it would happen to me.
IO Storm
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Southern California
Posts: 18,436
Thanks g2b...
Wow..you are a brave one! I had to get off..and thought..sheeesh. Why did I
leave an open ended question like that? It seemed presumptive and somewhat
judgemental. My point is..After 16 years of being in and out of AA, and maintaining
my sobriety with "something else"...I finally got my miracle.
Clean and sober. Two years 7 months in a few days. Just the inner peace of it,
is something I wouldn't trade for that old "buzz"..any old day.
And I never thought it would happen to me.
Oh..I am bipolar too! Severe type I !!
Wow..you are a brave one! I had to get off..and thought..sheeesh. Why did I
leave an open ended question like that? It seemed presumptive and somewhat
judgemental. My point is..After 16 years of being in and out of AA, and maintaining
my sobriety with "something else"...I finally got my miracle.
Clean and sober. Two years 7 months in a few days. Just the inner peace of it,
is something I wouldn't trade for that old "buzz"..any old day.
And I never thought it would happen to me.
Oh..I am bipolar too! Severe type I !!
IO Storm
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Southern California
Posts: 18,436
Thanks g2b...
Wow..you are a brave one! I had to get off..and thought..sheeesh. Why did I
leave an open ended question like that? It seemed presumptive and somewhat
judgemental. My point is..After 16 years of being in and out of AA, and maintaining
my sobriety with "something else"...I finally got my miracle.
Clean and sober. Two years 7 months in a few days. Just the inner peace of it,
is something I wouldn't trade for that old "buzz"..any old day.
And I never thought it would happen to me.
Oh..I am bipolar too
Wow..you are a brave one! I had to get off..and thought..sheeesh. Why did I
leave an open ended question like that? It seemed presumptive and somewhat
judgemental. My point is..After 16 years of being in and out of AA, and maintaining
my sobriety with "something else"...I finally got my miracle.
Clean and sober. Two years 7 months in a few days. Just the inner peace of it,
is something I wouldn't trade for that old "buzz"..any old day.
And I never thought it would happen to me.
Oh..I am bipolar too
Member
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: galveston, tx
Posts: 33
The insanity returns and unless we have a spiritual foundation we will drink. We suffer from a spiritual malady and a disease that tells us we don't have a disease. We actual relapse become insane b4 we pick up the drink. I've relapsed many times and always I've stopped reaching out, going to meetings, calling sponser, etc.. I stop doing what I'm doing expecting the same results.
A dry drunk is very grouchy- they are not living a spiritual life or program they just haven't put alcohol in their body.
A dry drunk is very grouchy- they are not living a spiritual life or program they just haven't put alcohol in their body.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Basingstoke UK
Posts: 139
I thought I had cracked IT, far from it I was isolating myself not talking too anyone I was just sat in the dark in my room dry I was sober, but isolation is the worse thing Im having trouble intergrating back into society without drink.
I thought 6 months Ive cracked IT nope Im gonna have to struggle with this for the rest of my life hopefully not struggle to much tho it gets easier but its still hard.
My wording aint as good as some peoples.
Isolation = relapse to me never isolate yourself.
And other things my old pal was coming round but he was dry, the anxiety of not seeing people = relapse for me
I could talk forever about relapse but I wont. So theres my 2pence.
Bless all
I thought 6 months Ive cracked IT nope Im gonna have to struggle with this for the rest of my life hopefully not struggle to much tho it gets easier but its still hard.
My wording aint as good as some peoples.
Isolation = relapse to me never isolate yourself.
And other things my old pal was coming round but he was dry, the anxiety of not seeing people = relapse for me
I could talk forever about relapse but I wont. So theres my 2pence.
Bless all
Leap of Faith Survivor
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 4,555
Originally Posted by IO Storm 
Two years 7 months in a few days. Just the inner peace of it,
is something I wouldn't trade for that old "buzz"..any old day.
And I never thought it would happen to me.
is something I wouldn't trade for that old "buzz"..any old day.
And I never thought it would happen to me.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 1,876
IO asked....
Do any of you think a person can continue to use and say one is sober?
I think one can say anything they like but IMO using anything mind altering is not sober.
dgtrkt...I notice you are new to SR so welcome! Your post had me checking which forum I was in...lol. Since this is not the 12 step forum I would like to say that once again it is dangerous to lump all alcoholics into a "we" category. I do not have a spiritual malady nor do I have a disease that tells me I do not have a disease. In addition the concept of a "dry-drunk" is just a way to judge another's sobriety not a fact. Congrats on your sober time...keep up the good work.
Do any of you think a person can continue to use and say one is sober?
I think one can say anything they like but IMO using anything mind altering is not sober.
dgtrkt...I notice you are new to SR so welcome! Your post had me checking which forum I was in...lol. Since this is not the 12 step forum I would like to say that once again it is dangerous to lump all alcoholics into a "we" category. I do not have a spiritual malady nor do I have a disease that tells me I do not have a disease. In addition the concept of a "dry-drunk" is just a way to judge another's sobriety not a fact. Congrats on your sober time...keep up the good work.
trying to get it..
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: California
Posts: 286
Dry drunk....well, I have been in the prgm for over a year and it means little to me.....spirituality, well, since I nave been in the prgm. I have received and 18.5% raise, I refied my house to a manageable 30 year fixed, I have paid off my debts, I read a chapter of the bible every night studiously, I have the respect of my peers and family, who tell me that I have really changed, and for the better.
I had a year and 38 days, I drank Friday, and I drank yesterday......... So what is the problem? Why? I have it all right?
No, what I don’t have is a handle on what ails my soul and spirit, soul and spirit? What does that have to do with it? Well, whats left people?
For those that don’t see it as spiritual sickness etc. hey, that’s cool, but if you relapse and have a hard time keeping sober than you tell me. I am far from a holy roller and don’t even talk about my spirit etc. with others than my wife. BUT , I do know that when I look at that part of myself, I feel, well, denuded. I don’t have that feel good breath of fresh air attitude. When I attend to my spirituality, I do.
Am I fooling myself? Maybe, but who cares?If booze gets you threw the night, well what’s so wrong with spirituality getting you sober?........I am sober when I address my spirit, that thing that results in a higher sum that its individual parts. Call it what you wish, but for me its real.
I relapsed, yea, I feel lousy, I want to smack myself, BUT I have a spirit that says hey, you did a year, you can do it again, get humble, and go out there and deal.
I had a year and 38 days, I drank Friday, and I drank yesterday......... So what is the problem? Why? I have it all right?
No, what I don’t have is a handle on what ails my soul and spirit, soul and spirit? What does that have to do with it? Well, whats left people?
For those that don’t see it as spiritual sickness etc. hey, that’s cool, but if you relapse and have a hard time keeping sober than you tell me. I am far from a holy roller and don’t even talk about my spirit etc. with others than my wife. BUT , I do know that when I look at that part of myself, I feel, well, denuded. I don’t have that feel good breath of fresh air attitude. When I attend to my spirituality, I do.
Am I fooling myself? Maybe, but who cares?If booze gets you threw the night, well what’s so wrong with spirituality getting you sober?........I am sober when I address my spirit, that thing that results in a higher sum that its individual parts. Call it what you wish, but for me its real.
I relapsed, yea, I feel lousy, I want to smack myself, BUT I have a spirit that says hey, you did a year, you can do it again, get humble, and go out there and deal.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 1,876
Carl...I am so sorry for your recent relapse and agree that if addressing your spirit is something that keeps you sober than do it. I think that the number one reason for relapse is as you said....fooling yourself....fooling yourself into believing that booze has any redeeming qualities...fooling yourself into believing that things will be "different this time"
Best of luck to you...stay strong.
Best of luck to you...stay strong.
Knucklehead
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Davenport, WA
Posts: 4,005
Originally Posted by dgtrkt
The insanity returns and unless we have a spiritual foundation we will drink. We suffer from a spiritual malady and a disease that tells us we don't have a disease. We actual relapse become insane b4 we pick up the drink. I've relapsed many times and always I've stopped reaching out, going to meetings, calling sponser, etc.. I stop doing what I'm doing expecting the same results.
A dry drunk is very grouchy- they are not living a spiritual life or program they just haven't put alcohol in their body.
A dry drunk is very grouchy- they are not living a spiritual life or program they just haven't put alcohol in their body.
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