angel4ever

Rita, I agree that you will feel better about yourself if you just talk with him about how you were both asked to follow rules. He will understand that your recovery should be priority and if he is willing to be your friend and take it slow then you will be able to focus on the program and the steps. before you know it - it will either endure or not and you will be better able to cope. I understand how you must feel and it will be fine.

LogCabin

The absolute best thing I heard was that (since I was coming out of an abusive relationship) I needed to work on me. I needed to build a solid foundation before I could start building a house. I had (have) children, and I needed to really learn to respect, and take care of me...instead of taking care of everyone else. Once I could take care of myself, and feel really good about myself, then I could care for others.

If you spend all your time thinking about another person...it makes it pretty darn hard to work on yourself.

I have been in enough programs to have seen with my own eyes certain personalities who came in and right away tried to get involved with another person. But what I saw was that they were clearly not looking inward to themselves to work on themselves. And over and over again...that person was out the door before completing the program.

Us addicts are always looking for a way to go out and use in the beginning of recovery. We have to learn how to deal with life without using. And an emotional rollercoaster ride is the perfect excuse to bail on our recovery.

So yeah...you're always free to walk out the door and do it your way. Don't listen to years of wisdom and experience. And break the rules. Pretty soon you will figure out who you are really hurting. And it's not the staff and counselors, or the others in recovery.