Partner in Recovery

Old 11-03-2023, 08:25 AM
  # 1 (permalink)  
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Join Date: Nov 2023
Posts: 1
Partner in Recovery

My boyfriend of 7 years recently just completed 90 days in rehab and just moved to the city I live for IOP. He has been adamant on us staying together during his time in rehab and continued to refer to me as his girlfriend through the entire process. He wanted to be together once he completed his 90 days and now lives in the same city as me and is completing IOP and recently just told me out of nowhere he can no longer be in a relationship with me while he works on himself. Something I agree with but am having a very hard time coping with, I feel like has been a very unfair position to put me through. To put me through the stress of his active addiction, rehab and now that he is sober and on the right track completely shut me out. I know it what is best for him right now but I have developed such anxious attachment to him I do not know how to cope with him now living so close to me and running into him while trying to give him space. I ran into him at the gym this week and it was very hard for me to deal with. I obsessively worry about him finding someone else now that he is sober and I get upset that I was the person to help him through addiction for so long to not get to experience a good relationship with him. All i want to do is have a conversation with him about what's going on but do not want to put any stress on him that may be a trigger for him. I am trying my best to not contact him but am spending a lot of time thinking about him and it is not healthy for me. I am not sure what steps to take to create distance for him.
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Old 11-03-2023, 09:36 PM
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Dee74's Avatar
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,717
Hi mdl - welcome to SR
lot of people decide to focus on their recovery when they come out of rehab and like you acknowledge that's a good thing.

What it means for your relationship in the long run, noone really knows.

And although your partners journey is important, so is yours

It doesn't mean you don't need or deserve support going through this so I'm glad you've found us.
Feel free to check out our Family and Friends forums too


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