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I can't do this anymore

Old 12-25-2022, 07:54 PM
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I can't do this anymore

Im in recovery and just got out of prison in october. I was locked up for 14 months. I paroled to my home which is to my moms. Couple months before i got out, my mom got sick and was flown to hospital and has something wrong with her thyroid. Shes is really really sick and can't leave the house because she's so tiny. She said se doesn't wanna e seen so i do everything.. The shopping. Everything. I told my mom i would take care of her and help her until she gets better. But i've been recently spending alot more time with my biyfriend 2 hours away which is where my dad and grandma are too. Its a big city where he lives so we go to meetings and stuff. My mom lives in a really small racist town. Anyway point of the story is i dont know what to do. My mom really treats me bad. Talk me down etc. My. Mom is one i those old bitter hard headed mean woman. She's mad because im not here all the time. But i do come back to do the shopping and stuff. Its christmas and i just got back to her house cuz i wanted to be with her and my furrbaby lulu.. I just drove through a whiteout storm to get here. And all she did was yell at me and accuse. Me of stealing and so on. Every time i'm here i get depressed and wanna use because i can't take it. But when i go to my boyfriendz i wanna e sober and happy...please guys i need advice. I can't parole to my boyfriends. Til another 3 months. Help
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Old 12-25-2022, 09:01 PM
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Hi Essjade

I don't know anything abut the US parole system but assume they're pretty inflexible in some ways like addresses.
You already done about 3 month and bit - the downward slope to home from here.

I'm sorry you're in a tight and unsupportive spot but keep remembering no one else can make you use.
You must be strong to have gotten this far...keep going

D
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Old 12-26-2022, 06:49 AM
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Sounds like your mom is projecting a lot of her frustrations on you. Not fair and not mom of the year material. Its hard to deflect that but it sounds like youve been doing it. And you know that time passes quickly. Likely youll be on your own before you know it. In the meantime focus on the things that have kept you focused and sober this long? And remind yourself that you are a good person who is amazing to have conquered sobriety and some jail time and anything she throws your way is her issue not yours. Have you seen Bullet Train on Netflix? Funny stuff. Brad Pitt says "hurt people hurt people." The sooner you leave her to her negativity the sooner she will maybe have to deal with it herself. Sending you good vibes!
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Old 12-26-2022, 07:32 AM
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Sounds as though you are in a really tough spot, Essjade. I suspect that at this time (for the next three months), first and foremost, you must do what makes your parole officer happy and keeps you out of legal troubles; in the total scheme of things, three months is a very short period of time. You can see it through.

In the meantime, you may want to look into a program (in person or via YouTube) of yoga or meditation (or a combination of both) - something that reinforces your strength, self-esteem, value and, most-importantly, your sobriety and recovery. Find a self-affirming mantra that you can mentally draw upon to counter your momís negativity.

Ultimately, after your parole period has expired, you donít have to live with your mom in order to be of support to her. You can arrange for groceries and medication to be delivered to her home until she is well; if she qualifies, Meals-on-Wheels and transportation services might be available to her; you could arrange for and supervise these services until she is well-enough to do it herself.

Stay close to SR, Essjade. One of the most beautiful things about SR, is that there us almost always someone here to be of support to you.
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Old 12-28-2022, 11:40 AM
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Hi welcome to soberrecovery Essjade.

In California you can ask your parole officer if you can move into a halfway house. Also in California there is assisted living a place where your mother can go and they'll care for her. I don't know what her income may be but you might wanna look into that if she has Social Security or something like that.

For now stay close to SR. Here you can get the help you need to manage all the problems you're going through. Lots of sober peers here willing to help like myself to see that you can stay sober no matter what may come your way.
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