Can you please help me to find out if my boyfriend is drug abusing
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 1
Can you please help me to find out if my boyfriend is drug abusing
Hey Everyone.
I have been dating my boyfriend for about year and lately I have noticed some changes in him. He has told me that younger he used to take a lot of drugs for fun. His past serious relationships the girls were drug abusers. One went actually through rehab. But he said he has never really get hooked by any of the stuff he was taking.
Now he has always been honest with me by telling me that he takes tiny little pieces of Xanax ( smaller than a quarter of one) he says it helps him to sleep. According to him he does not take it everyday. I sometimes hear him over the phone asking friends to get stuff for specific events.
A few month ago he has stopped working but still get good money from another sources.
So money isn't an issue at all.
He has been sleeping extended hours, like I would go to work and come back and he would still be sleeping.
Some days he seems drowsy, like he would talk with a slurred speech, and talking about non sense things and would go back to bed to nap more.
He used to never lock the bathroom door, now, 3-4 times a day he locks himself and runs water of the sink for like 15 min and I can hear him making huge noises clearing his throat. When he actually do really use the bathroom he doesn't lock himself. I ve tried to barge in a few times but he would slam the door right back. I have called him out on this weird behavior but he has recently becoming very nasty to me and condescending. Telling me I m crazy making false accusations, asking me to apologize over and over for false accusations.
I have spoken to one of his sibling, he was appreciative of sharing my concerns but I m not sure if he believes me. Again I m not sure that he is taking something besides the Xanax. He has often a runny nose (one side of the nostril only) and I have seen once blue powder in one of his nostril.
Before the locking in the bathroom, if we were leaving the house he would pretend to have forgotten something and would literally take over 5 -10 min to get whatever he needed and making me wait outside the house. When this happens his tone of voice is like low and he has energy then later he would nod in weird places (noisy and bright)
I m drained, I don't know what to do. Do you think he is using something or abusing Xanax? Should I again talk to his sibling ? Thanks everyone
I have been dating my boyfriend for about year and lately I have noticed some changes in him. He has told me that younger he used to take a lot of drugs for fun. His past serious relationships the girls were drug abusers. One went actually through rehab. But he said he has never really get hooked by any of the stuff he was taking.
Now he has always been honest with me by telling me that he takes tiny little pieces of Xanax ( smaller than a quarter of one) he says it helps him to sleep. According to him he does not take it everyday. I sometimes hear him over the phone asking friends to get stuff for specific events.
A few month ago he has stopped working but still get good money from another sources.
So money isn't an issue at all.
He has been sleeping extended hours, like I would go to work and come back and he would still be sleeping.
Some days he seems drowsy, like he would talk with a slurred speech, and talking about non sense things and would go back to bed to nap more.
He used to never lock the bathroom door, now, 3-4 times a day he locks himself and runs water of the sink for like 15 min and I can hear him making huge noises clearing his throat. When he actually do really use the bathroom he doesn't lock himself. I ve tried to barge in a few times but he would slam the door right back. I have called him out on this weird behavior but he has recently becoming very nasty to me and condescending. Telling me I m crazy making false accusations, asking me to apologize over and over for false accusations.
I have spoken to one of his sibling, he was appreciative of sharing my concerns but I m not sure if he believes me. Again I m not sure that he is taking something besides the Xanax. He has often a runny nose (one side of the nostril only) and I have seen once blue powder in one of his nostril.
Before the locking in the bathroom, if we were leaving the house he would pretend to have forgotten something and would literally take over 5 -10 min to get whatever he needed and making me wait outside the house. When this happens his tone of voice is like low and he has energy then later he would nod in weird places (noisy and bright)
I m drained, I don't know what to do. Do you think he is using something or abusing Xanax? Should I again talk to his sibling ? Thanks everyone
Member
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Wareham, Mass
Posts: 7,067
Hi, piccolaragazza.
Welcome.
Well, it appears something is going on.
His behavior is not straightforward, for sure.
Do you need confirmation?
If so, I would find out as much as I could about xanax addiction or other substances.
Good luck and good thoughts.
Welcome.
Well, it appears something is going on.
His behavior is not straightforward, for sure.
Do you need confirmation?
If so, I would find out as much as I could about xanax addiction or other substances.
Good luck and good thoughts.
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Northwest
Posts: 4,215
He’s using and probably something more intense than Xanax.
All of his back story is just a little too perfect...yes, I used to use. But I could handle it. And maybe it was kinda sorta the women I was dating. Oh and I take tiny little amounts of Xanax. Just to sleep. Oh but he also does other drugs unspecified for “events.”
It’s a smokescreen. Assume he’s using. Now, how do you protect you?
I’m really sorry.
All of his back story is just a little too perfect...yes, I used to use. But I could handle it. And maybe it was kinda sorta the women I was dating. Oh and I take tiny little amounts of Xanax. Just to sleep. Oh but he also does other drugs unspecified for “events.”
It’s a smokescreen. Assume he’s using. Now, how do you protect you?
I’m really sorry.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
YES he is using something.
does it really matter WHAT it is?
is his behavior in any way acceptable to you?
talking to his sibling doesn't really solve anything for YOU.
see what you see.
know what you know.
does it really matter WHAT it is?
is his behavior in any way acceptable to you?
talking to his sibling doesn't really solve anything for YOU.
see what you see.
know what you know.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,783
From what you've said, it sounds very suspicious. The runny nose and falling asleep. The long times in the bathroom.
Is this the kind of relationship you want?
Doesn't sound like much fun.
Is this the kind of relationship you want?
Doesn't sound like much fun. 
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Western NY
Posts: 1,209
Yes. He is clearly getting high.
I don't really see the point of talking to his sibling about it. His sibling might know more than he is letting on anyway. Blood is thicker than water.
I think your focus might be best spent on how to extricate yourself from the situation. He doesn't sound like he has any interest in quitting at this point.
Just my 0.02
I don't really see the point of talking to his sibling about it. His sibling might know more than he is letting on anyway. Blood is thicker than water.
I think your focus might be best spent on how to extricate yourself from the situation. He doesn't sound like he has any interest in quitting at this point.
Just my 0.02
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 79
It could be so many things. 5-10 min in the bathroom makes sense though if he's crushing the pills and snorting them. Clearing the throat after to get rid of the drop.
Honestly though, the type of drug doesn't matter. It sounds like something is going on. Nar-anon or al-anon might be something worth looking into for yourself.
Honestly though, the type of drug doesn't matter. It sounds like something is going on. Nar-anon or al-anon might be something worth looking into for yourself.
"O you must wear your rue with difference".
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 1,146
You have only been dating him for a year. I think this one is a dud. He's not being honest with you and he doesn't like you trying to snoop. If you make him take a drug test, he might get angry, or he might agree to take it, stop using for long enough for the test to come back clean (this is manipulation) and then start using again. In any case, just trust your instinct. It doesn't matter what he says, it matters what he does. How do you feel about his actions (acting suspicious in the bathroom, not telling you the truth, making excuses for drug use)?
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 53
WOW! piccolaragazza what a cool name! (=
I'm on Xanax for my panic attacks, but my 30 days supply was filled in April. lol I don't have 'em often, but when I do ~ that stuff helps. My Doc also said that I may use it for sleep as well. Now I've done that twice? Maybe? Since April.
I truly don't know about your boyfriend abusing but if I may ... I've never heard of Xanax having anything to do with "blue" on your nostril. Been in Pharm for 28 years. And if he's abusing, it would be pretty easy to get if he's a "Doctor Shopper", BUT the USA has started a nationwide databank for people who GET these prescriptions filled and they WILL NAIL YA eventually for getting the Rxs from several Docs. I know you're thinkin he's getting it illegally anyway, but I sure will be thinkin of you and hope this all works out hunny.
I'm on Xanax for my panic attacks, but my 30 days supply was filled in April. lol I don't have 'em often, but when I do ~ that stuff helps. My Doc also said that I may use it for sleep as well. Now I've done that twice? Maybe? Since April.
I truly don't know about your boyfriend abusing but if I may ... I've never heard of Xanax having anything to do with "blue" on your nostril. Been in Pharm for 28 years. And if he's abusing, it would be pretty easy to get if he's a "Doctor Shopper", BUT the USA has started a nationwide databank for people who GET these prescriptions filled and they WILL NAIL YA eventually for getting the Rxs from several Docs. I know you're thinkin he's getting it illegally anyway, but I sure will be thinkin of you and hope this all works out hunny.
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