Mamahawk

I had two miscarriages and I like to think about how my dad got to meet them!

cleaninLI

I don't know. He isn't addicted. Just took him occasionally. Took them at the funeral and stuff. I don't think he HAS to take them....the way I did.

Mamahawk

We can't be prepared for that. Especially the first time.

cleaninLI

Mama, sometimes I feel that you and I...our lives are like carbon copies. I had two miscarriages too. This is creepy that we have so much in common.

Mamahawk

It sounds like she was a great mom and you must have many wonderful memories.

cleaninLI

Mine weren't too far into the pregnancies though. Just during the first trimester.

Mamahawk

I know what you mean. We are very much the same. Like I said soul sisters! So your mom has met your angels to! Have you ever thought about that?

Mamahawk

Mine to. Very early. But they were life. And I believe God has them. He sent them, right?

Mamahawk

It was a painful expierence. First time I saw my hubby cry.

Mamahawk

I hope I didn't upset you.

cleaninLI

Well, she was...even though I know she wasn't perfect...she was just ill.....that's all. She had that horrible childhood like your mom had. But I know she loved me. The last few weeks before she died she told me that she was sorry that she wasn't the best mother for me. She said she tried......so that is why it's all water under the bridge. I just hugged her very tightly and told her she was the best mother.....at least for me she was.....thats what I told her...and I meant it too.

Mamahawk

Are you ok?

Mamahawk

Awe what a gift you gave her!! Peace and understanding.

cleaninLI

No you aren't upsetting me. I'm glad you reminded me...now I know my mom is there with them. Hadn't thought about it too much. I didn't know if they were a boy or girl ya know...It was too early to tell.

Mamahawk

They were our babies either way!

Mamahawk

I had a dream after the first. It was a girl. She had dark hair like her daddy. Not red like me. And blue eyes like my Kelby. She was beautiful. I believe god sent that dream because I always wanted a daughter!

Mamahawk

My dad and your mom know! Someday so will we.

cleaninLI

My mom was always excited to see her grandchildren she loved spoiling them. I can just imagine what she's doing with my two other babies. She was looking forward to holding my daughter's baby....she knew she was pregnant. She told us to pray she lives long enough to meet baby Jacob. She didn't make it. she died the day before Mother's Day and he was born in July.

Mamahawk

Oh clean that must have been so hard. Right before Mother's Day. I'm so sorry.

cleaninLI

Oh, that's an awesome dream! She must be angelic up there in heaven. If you think about it, they never had to suffer right? They went straight up to God.