Ashamedof

I just wanted to document my withdrawal. It helps me for some reason so here we go! Day 1 has begun. I took my last 30 mg pill at like 1am and passed out.
So far I just feel groggy but I know what to expect. I won't want to do anything, I won't want to talk, I won't want to leave my couch...ugh.this is all my fault.

Druwyd

You're in it to win it. Yes, wd sucks, having done it before you know this. But...it passes. Hang in there Ash.

biminiblue

Journaling is so helpful for me to figure things out. Good idea.

Congrats on your reboot. I hope you don't upload any more garbage.

Ashamedof

Thank you both, I appreciate the support ! I looked at myself in the mirror yesterday and didn't like the person staring back at me! I screamed and basically told myself that I'm strong and I've endured worse, I can do this.

Ashamedof

Just did 20 minutes of yoga and it helped the impending anxiety attack I was about to have turn Into a panic attack. Drinking water, took a multi, had some leftover spaghetti and I'm watching reruns of Roseanne.

doggonecarl

I hope this it the last time you have to endure this. What are you going to do different this time to ensure this run is successful? Any plans to add support? NA? Seeing an addiction specialist?

This is difficult to do on your own, as you know.

Jdre

I'm watching Roseanne, too! I've always loved her show and it's sitcoms like this that help get me through. Almost 40 hours clean. Hope you're doing well, Ash. We're in this to win it together!

Ashamedof

As soon as I pay my phone bill I'm going to call my insurance company and see what my options are, for now I think keeping my cell off is best.

Ashamedof

Jdre, it brings back good memories for me so it's helping some and congrats on 40 hours, you're almost over the hump!!

godsent3

agree, your in in to win it you got this!!!!! God bless you!!!!!

cleaninLI

Hey happy to see you back here! I missed you! What happened? You were going strong last time! It's ok if you don't want to answer that but it helps to know why so you can avoid it this time.

finaltime

How are you now?

Jdre

How are you doing tonight, Ash? Hope not too bad. We can do this!!

Ashamedof

Well, it's 6:30 am and I did sleep on and off, sweating of course ugh. Today is day 2 so it will probably be worse.

Ashamedof

CleaninLI I don't even know? I was sick of the fatigue, finding no pleasure in anything, having no motivation?

Druwyd

Another day behind you Ash! Nagging, but don't forget the water and/or Gatorade flushing, you got this.

Ashamedof

Well it's 10:34 AM and I feel like it's supposed to be 5 PM time is so slow but I'm staying strong. I cannot turn my phone back on , I'm still keeping it off I haven't been on Facebook I have not conversed with anybody. I'm just focusing on me right now and doing the best that I can. I'm doing laundry and cleaning the house so it's a good thing.

Jdre

I did so good yesterday morning, but early this morning had a HUGE setback. Chills hot and sweaty at the same time and my skin burns. I can't take it anymore
Glad you're staying strong Ash.

Druwyd

You can do it Jdre, it DOES fade with time even with some peaks and valleys.

Ashamedof

As soon as I turn my phone on. ....here we go. God give me the strength.