heyitsme

Going to court today... and I am scared sh*tless... I have never been in "trouble" like this and I can't believe that addiction took me down this path. I have become someone that I resent and can't stand. I can't stand anything right now.

Hoping and praying that I get a compassionate judge and that I can right my wrong.

Please wish me luck, I hope I will be back this afternoon with some decent news.

Impurrfect

Hugs and prayers to you. I've been down that road before and it's best just get through it and focus on recovery, or at least it was for me.

Amy

heyitsme

Thanks Amy! I am scarred, but it will be so nice to get this done and over with. I feel like I can't focus on anything until this is taken care of.

SNST

Good luck heyitsme, I have also been down that road, not so long ago, it is overwhelming, just stay strong.

heyitsme

I have good news! I went to court today and my case was dropped. There was a "no complaints" charge, which basically the means that the DA is not going to file charges. Nothing on my record and no fines.

I am sooooo lucky that this happened! This doesn't excuse me from cleaning up my life, but it sure will make it easier.

I feel like the weight of the world has just been lifted off of my shoulders!

joygirl

Take that as a sign at a second chance. Now focus on recovery. So happy for you!

wiscsober

Good for you. I remind myself that my court appearances weren't the problems. The problem was what got me there. The biggest problems were an unaddressed addiction and an unmanageable life.

The vast majority of recovery people no longer get arrested or have to appear in court...for alcohol and drug related offenses.

trikyriky

Do not celebrate !!

Tiredofdrugs

Yay on not going to jail!!!! Now! Hold tight to that FEAR you had before going to court! Because if you keep going down the path that got you there? You WILL go to jail the next time.

I'm sure you walked out of that court room on cloud nine. However! If you choose to toss that Get out of Jail Free Card? You'll go right back to what you were doing. The only problem now though. Your name, face and address is in the system. Choose to be the one that when you see a police officer on the streets? You will have nothing to fear from them. I say that with 104 days clean off the opiates now.

I was cruising the arrest photos last night and let me tell you! You don't want to be in jail with those faces I saw looking back at me. I want to crawl into my bed each night, have my own schedule to follow and eat what I want.

Glad you are Free now! Make good use of what the Angels sitting on your shoulders provided for you!

TOD

Dee74

glad you got a break heyitsme

D

finaltime

Just sent you a private message. yes, toss every med you have, get through the withdrawals and you know we will all be here to support you. You can do this and I have faith in you, and you, your son, your family, your job, your wallet, your heart, your body, will all be so much happier clean. you can do this, you can do this. We can do this together.

cleaninLI

Heyitsme I remember reading your thread a while back when you were terrified. Truely happy that you have been given a second chance. Just don't forget how you felt way back then and use that feeling to stay clean.

heyitsme

Thanks everyone! Today is day 2 off of everything. I actually don't feel as bad as I have wding in the past, so I am thankful for that. It is still there, but the physical symptoms aren't super bad. The mental though... I have to force myself to keep busy to keep my mind off of them. I stayed at home all day with my son today and I thought I was going to go crazy!

I am going to take this second chance and get clean. I am tired of living my life this way. The pills don't even get me high anymore, and just make me pissed off. I'm ready to have my life back.

icandoit12 - thanks for the PM. I'll get back to you tomorrow. I worked tonight as well. I think I am going to try and go to sleep soon.

GravyDave

heyitsme - Hey! You were there for me during my first detox back in December 2011. Glad to see you're still around and posting! I'm also really glad you made it out of court trouble-free! Consider it a lifeline if you will. Just keep your head up and focus on recovery now! Life is soooo much better when you're drug-free. The gym was the #1 tool in my recovery back then. I was going to the gym by day 6 or 7 of my detox and it made worlds of difference. Good luck to you!

heyitsme

Hey Dave!

You don't know how happy I am to see your name on my thread! How are things going for you? Hopefully keeping clean?

Yep, I am still around. I read more than I post. But I still love this place, I have made some good friends... and it is so nice to have the support from people that actually understand what I am going through... My mom gets it, but my dad, not so much,

I got some upsetting news in the mail today. It looks like my X is fighting for custody of my son. Not because he wants him, but because he has been ordered to pay child support, and doesn't want to pay. I have to get on the phone tomorrow morning, because as it stands... I have court on the 24th for a custody hearing. So upset right now... It seems like everything hits you when you are working your hardest to stay clean. But that is how life goes, right?! Anyway... he'll never get it, but the thought of having to go through this is causing a lot of anxiety right now. I can't imagine losing my son. I won't, but the threat is there, and it is always scary.

I do want to go to the gym, but can't afford it at the moment. So today I took my son on a car drive and we went and threw rocks in the river and went for a little hike. It was great to get out of the house, and keep him busy for a couple of hours. Besides that, music is my lifeline at the moment. If I can just sit and listen to songs on youtube, I seem to be ok.

Dave... please stick around (and everyone else!) It really means a lot to me that I have everyone here rooting for me.

finaltime

Heyitsme, yes lets chat. How cool you went and did that with your son. AND BOOOOHHH on your X, and that is one thing that just should make you stronger, is you being sober right now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Let's talk soon and stay strong.

Tiredofdrugs

Hello there GravyDave!!! You hiding under a rock these days? How are you doing?

Heyitsme: How are you doing today? Take a look around you. There is new life starting everywhere. This is also your time to start the new life. There's a bird in the tree right outside my room here. I saw it's mate yesterday. They have been working up a storm getting the nest ready. Poor little bird was panting up a storm too. It was 105 degrees. I know how they felt because I was out there with them for hours doing some heavy duty yard work. There's no way I would have been able to do that sort of work in this sort of heat if it wasn't for the 106 days off the opiates.

Keep strong and hold to the faith there are hundreds of us out there that have beat the demon in those little pills. Your son will also be so grateful to have a clean mom too! I know my grand kids are glad to have ME off the opiates. As well as my pets.

Best to ya
TOD

heyitsme

icandoit - yes, we shall chat soon. I'm sorry I haven't PM you back. I have been busy and just haven't taken the time to sit down and write. Yes, this thing with my X is troubling. It does harden my resolve to keep clean though. Nothing is more important to me than my son, and I am not going to lose him over my addiction. I have a call into a lawyer that I have met with a couple of times, so I am waiting to hear back from him. I am thinking that mediation is the best way to go. I am hoping that we can settle this out of court - as I do not want to see the inside of a courtroom again! Lol!

The more I thought about it last night (when I couldn't sleep). Is what I think is happening is I asked for sole custody, and my X wants joint. In the state of Oregon. Sole custody just means that, that parent gets final say in all major decisions... It has nothing to do with parenting time, child support, ect. I am hoping that is what it is, and I need to make a really hard decision on if I am going to bend on this one or fight. I don't know what the answer is yet.

TOD - thanks for your inspiring post! While I was using, I never wanted to go anywhere, take my son to do anything or get out of the house. Now that I am starting to feel a little bit better (physically at least). I like and NEED to get out of the house and do things. It has been a great way for my son and I to bond. Which we need. It is so cool that you have a birds nest right out your window. They are truly amazing creatures to just sit and watch! Also, I can't believe you did all that yard work in that heat. I don't know if that is something that I would ever be able to do! I lived in Florida for 3 years, and the heat and humidity were so oppressive. I couldn't stand being outside during the summer. Spoken like a true Pacific NW girl, huh?!

Anyway, I have to finish getting ready for work. Everyone have a great day... I'll be back tonight.

jokerz4u

Hi heyitsme! Was looking thru my old threads and saw where you were rooting for me and encouraging me to stay clean, which I didnt. Today I am 41 days clean and encouraging YOU to stay clean. You will be so glad if you can do it. Do it for your son, and really enjoy time spent with him. It gets better and better with each passing day. Also wishing you the best of luck in your court matter. Will be praying for you my friend. Hang in there!

finaltime

Heyitsme, how are you today?