pravchaw

Hello folks - hoping to get some pointers here.

My 21 year old son is addicted to marijuana. If if decides to quit marijuana (which he says he is trying) is it OK for him to drink Alcohol in moderation? Or will alcohol lead to another addiction or lead him back to his drug of choice? He says Alcohol does not have the same hold on him as pot.

I have stopped enabling him in anyway and he is now on his own. So that is not an issue. This question is for my own understanding.

Dee74

I don't think anyone can answer that definitively pravchaw.

All I can tell you is yeah for me they were linked - when I was stoned I wanted to drink and when I was drunk I wanted to be stoned.

best wishes to you and to your son
D

julez

I never wanted to smoke unless I had a few drinks first. It loosened me up to the idea.

liv1ce

I am addicted to ANYTHING that will get me high. I believe that to be a highly common malady.

I had to quit pot as I got too old to find it easily. I moved readily to bourbon as beer wasn't strong enough to do the job quick enough. In this regard pot can get you going with one hit. After that pitcher after pitcher was a drag.

After my behavior began to be obvious and the smell on my breath couldn't be hidden I moved to opiates.

If I hadn't stopped there who knows where I wouldn't have gone in my pursuit.

hope22

Hi Pravchaw its hard to say. But I will tell you my own experience. My first drug of choice was pot. After I got out of college I had to quit pot because of drug testing for work. My drinking got heavier, in my case I was trading one addiction for another.

larrylive

If alcohol does not have the same hold on him then he should be okay with not drinking for a while...say a year or two?

I mean I never had a problem with drinking, loved weed and couldn't stop the crack, but booze was not my thing. Some one said if I drink I'll go back to crack, so I don't drink, simple.

Larry

pravchaw

He says he needs to do one or the other and since alcohol is not his drug of choice he can control it. I don't know if he is kidding himself. I guess he will need to find his bottom on his own. I have admitted my powerlessness and will be there to help him out when he sobers up.

Dee74

Anytime anyone says they *need* to do a drug is red flag time for me too pravchaw...I lurched from one drug to another for years because I wasn't prepared to deal with *me*, and the reasons why I needed to use drugs.

If your son's like me, I hope his journey will be quicker than mine.

D

pravchaw

Thanks Dee. Though is there a reason for using drugs? Apart from the high?

liv1ce

There are a myriad of reasons.

Dee74

Like Liv1ce says the reasons seem to vary from person to person.

It was escape for me - escape for emotions, escape from reality, escape from me.

D

pravchaw

Escape from reality, emotions, responsibility is the best explanation probably.
As a father I have spent years trying to understand the mind of my addicted son, but finally gave up.

He will not give any reasons but says he has but does not want to discuss. I don't know whether he has discussed with his therapist or Councillors. I suspect he has no real reasons apart from being caught in a vicious circle of the need to escape and be high and the withdrawals and refusing to face reality. It is insanity really!

PillPenguin

I'm pretty sure if he stops smoking pot, and starts drinking, it's just going to be another addiction. That really is the main reason people drink/get high.. they either want to feel good, or feel nothing at all. Best of luck to the both of you.

Lyoness

I agree with everyone. Those of us who want/need to get high for whatever reason--self-medication, deny our feelings, escape--will find a way to do it however we can. And something we don't think is addictive for us can suddenly become very addictive.

I know I started drinking at 16, mostly quit that at 22 but by then was well into marijuana addiction. I quit that, too, but now 20 years later am struggling with massive opiate addiction. I finally, at 49, understand that the substances were not the problem--I was the problem.

So your son has a pretty strong chance of having problems with alcohol, too. In recovery abstinence from all mood altering substances is recommended because it is SO easy for us to get hooked on multiple substances.

I hope everything goes well for you and your son. He's lucky to have such a caring dad.

sub0

i smoked marijuana for 12 straight years.. the moment i woke up, after shower, after breakfast, on the way to school, work, in between breaks, during lunch, after working, on the way home from school or work, at home before and after dinner, and before bed time...

so i smoked around 20 times a day... for over 10 years.

and i never got addicted to marijuana.

just my experience. marijuana is all psychological in my opinion.

once u quit, boredom might hit, but that's it. no withdrawal.

-sub0

pravchaw

Sub0 - Is'nt the above behavior addiction? Why would anyone do such a thing if not addicted? I understand the "no withdrawal" part - Marijuana is not physical - but I understand so is cocaine?

Lyoness

I would consider myself deeply addicted if I had done the same. I mean that's what I was doing with oxy. We also don't know if he was using any other substances when quitting which might mask withdrawal symptoms though everyone is different.

For myself, and this was 20 years ago and the marijuana was strong but nothing on what's out there now, I did go through what I would call withdrawals. It took me 6 months for my head to clear and feel like I was really free of the drug. I also went through intense cravings for months, too.

I think we are really only just realizing that marijuana is, or at least can be, an addictive substance. For some, they can use occasionally, enjoy it and that is it. Others can use it medicinally without addiction becoming an issue. And for others like myself and your son, it can become a full blown addiction and needs to be treated as such.

bigsombrero

Let's not overlook the phrase "trying to quit". In my experience that's something people say to get someone off their back without much drama. And it's a load of BS. You either quit, or you keep using. HOWEVER - IMO marijuana is in no way near as harmful as an alcohol addiction, especially considering the long-term effects of drinking on your body physically. In short : he's no angel, but things could be worse.

I smoked a lot of MJ when I was 20-25 age range, but after I got out of the college scene, moved to the big city, and real life started, I just didn't have time for it. Like an above poster said, it's just something to cure boredom - at least it was for me. Unfortunately I also turned to booze for the same reason, and the effects were devastating. The entire life I'd built, my career, my resources, my talents - all were swept away in a violent tornado of illness and nearly killed me. My marijuana use didn't even come close to doing that kind of damage.

So be careful with this MJ thing, but don't kill yourself over it. My main concern would be that he would be like me, and eventually turn to booze. THAT would be bad news. Keep a close eye on this, discuss your concerns. I think once he finds new friends and a more demanding lifestyle (ie: job) he'll probably cut down or quit altogether by osmosis.

neferkamichael

Weed was my DOA, I would have smoked it in my sleep if I could'a figured out how to hold a joint to my lips, but I don't dare touch it at all. I believe if I start using anything it would be no time before I was back to doing it all. Pravchaw, I hope he decides to give it all up. Rootin for him.

julez

I have a friend who went to rehab to get off of cocaine, got and stayed clean, and has no problem at all having a few beers here and there. But better safe than sorry IMO