Husband admits to being a coke addict
Looking For Myself...Sober
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Where the heart is
Posts: 10,209
I am far from a moderator. But may I weigh in on this for just a moment?
We all hear things we dont like in life. Especially us addicts. Everything is an attack on us when we are using it seems like. I would imagine it can feel that way for friends and family that have to put up with us too.
I found in my own experience that its the things that I dont want to hear that turn out to be the things I need to hear.
Support comes in all shapes and sizes and can be delivered in many ways as well. Its how you take it that puts the value on it. Just something I have learned in the recovery community.
Sometimes it takes that harsh reality to make you think and get the energy to get you going.
Also there is an ignore button.
We all hear things we dont like in life. Especially us addicts. Everything is an attack on us when we are using it seems like. I would imagine it can feel that way for friends and family that have to put up with us too.
I found in my own experience that its the things that I dont want to hear that turn out to be the things I need to hear.
Support comes in all shapes and sizes and can be delivered in many ways as well. Its how you take it that puts the value on it. Just something I have learned in the recovery community.
Sometimes it takes that harsh reality to make you think and get the energy to get you going.
Also there is an ignore button.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 165
thank you for the replies...your posts are very helpful and inspirational. i feel like after hearing from you that i am doing the right thing.
it also gives me an opportunity to see things from his perspective.
for now, it sounds like i need to leave things alone. i am just focusing on our child.
i did make it clear that i will not consider visitation until he is in some kind of rehab program.
yes, you are right, i do feel very cut off...and discarded.
geez...this is tough. but again, your feedback really helps.
it also gives me an opportunity to see things from his perspective.
for now, it sounds like i need to leave things alone. i am just focusing on our child.
i did make it clear that i will not consider visitation until he is in some kind of rehab program.
yes, you are right, i do feel very cut off...and discarded.
geez...this is tough. but again, your feedback really helps.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 165
i feel like i want to reach out to him...say something to him...make him "see the light." but i know there is nothing i can do. you and many others on this thread have already told me that he has to find his own way...there is nothing that i can do to help him. my focus now is just on me and my child...and keeping the boundaries that i have put in place intact.
you have come a long way ayasha and it sounds like you are really making a good life for yourself.
maybe that is what i am looking for..."hope." i dont know.
you have come a long way ayasha and it sounds like you are really making a good life for yourself.
maybe that is what i am looking for..."hope." i dont know.
Administrator
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: CA
Posts: 10,681
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No posts that attack, insult, "flame", defame, or abuse members or non-members. Respect other members of the community and don’t belittle, make fun of, or insult another member or non-member. Decisions about health and recovery are highly personal, individual choices. "Flaming" and insults, however, will not be tolerated. Agree to disagree. This applies to both the forums and chat.
Ignore bothersome members. If there is someone on the forum that bothers you, select the Ignore option on the drop down menu under their name on the post. You won't see any posts from this member again.
Using the ignore feature is a personal option.
Resident Alien
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 198
Personally, since the thread has derailed anyway, I think that coming onto a public forum and asking only for the kind of responses you want to hear is a little pointless. If you're only open to receiving opinions that are presented in the way you would like, maybe you should be asking a therapist or doctor or other related professional instead of the general public on an open forum?
If you go to a crowd of 10,000 people at Grand Central Station and shout your personal problems and ask for advice, you should kind of expect to get a full spectrum of responses; not all of which might be considered nice or gentle.
I didn't see anything in this thread that was out of line to me. Harsh and to the point? Probably. Out of line? Nah. My 2 cents. Best wishes in your journey.
If you go to a crowd of 10,000 people at Grand Central Station and shout your personal problems and ask for advice, you should kind of expect to get a full spectrum of responses; not all of which might be considered nice or gentle.
I didn't see anything in this thread that was out of line to me. Harsh and to the point? Probably. Out of line? Nah. My 2 cents. Best wishes in your journey.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
hi everyone...
Let's all chill and please do find something that allows you
to live in joy with purpose.
Posts that knocked our site have been removed
Others that violated Rule 4 are also gone.
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Membership here is optional...to participate is your choice
While you are here following our posting rules is required
Thanks for honoring our rules in future posts...
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This thread is closed.
Let's all chill and please do find something that allows you
to live in joy with purpose.
Posts that knocked our site have been removed
Others that violated Rule 4 are also gone.
.
Membership here is optional...to participate is your choice
While you are here following our posting rules is required
Thanks for honoring our rules in future posts...
.This thread is closed.
Last edited by CarolD; 08-23-2012 at 08:52 PM.
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