how do i help my brother
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 5
how do i help my brother
hello all. as per my username im a worried sister. my adult brother;s as yet unidentified drug use has escalated to being completely cracked out every single day. how he manages to hold his job i dont know ( and fear if he has lost it or loses it hell turn to dealing if he has not done so already ). in hindsight the mild symptoms appeared many months ago - lack of sleep on weekends and energetic but in a hyperactive way not maniac as he is now. we do not know what he is taking. am hoping perhaps y'all can help. he currently exhibits these signs :
- VERY VERY VERY hyperactive - visits for 5 minutes ( isnt really all there ) - then has to leave - talks miles a minute - often not mmaking sense
- completely erratic behavior - driving 1 hr away to wash his car ( we ran into him so we know he was washing his car ) while friends hed not seen in ages were at his home / washes his car in the middle of the street at 1am
- this segues into his OCD behavior ( washing his car and spending hours on the treadmill )
- paranoia about little things - he believes our other sibling is " blaming " him for various irrelevant things ( trash in the garage etc )
- does not sleep for days on end
- his eyes look as though theyre going to bulge from their sockets 24/7 ( completely freaks me out ) / unable to make eye contact for more than a few seconds / sweats profusely / has lost 30lb-40lb in a few months ( he is turning into a bag of bones )
- gets EXTREMELY defensive ( has always had a short fuse ) when even our mama comments in a neutral , casual way about his weight etc.
We are very very scared of the road he's taking knowing we cannot help him stop as it is too late. We will not isolate him but we will not enable him. This is going to destroy our mama to see him continue to spiral.
My questions are :
- what could he possibly be on ? ( understandably a stimulant - do the symptoms mirror any specific drug ) if there is any speculation as to what it is - what progression of behavior can we expect ?
- what can i do to protect / help my mama ?
sorry if this is kind of jumbled together but my thoughts on this are like a tangled mess.
Thanks very much
- VERY VERY VERY hyperactive - visits for 5 minutes ( isnt really all there ) - then has to leave - talks miles a minute - often not mmaking sense
- completely erratic behavior - driving 1 hr away to wash his car ( we ran into him so we know he was washing his car ) while friends hed not seen in ages were at his home / washes his car in the middle of the street at 1am
- this segues into his OCD behavior ( washing his car and spending hours on the treadmill )
- paranoia about little things - he believes our other sibling is " blaming " him for various irrelevant things ( trash in the garage etc )
- does not sleep for days on end
- his eyes look as though theyre going to bulge from their sockets 24/7 ( completely freaks me out ) / unable to make eye contact for more than a few seconds / sweats profusely / has lost 30lb-40lb in a few months ( he is turning into a bag of bones )
- gets EXTREMELY defensive ( has always had a short fuse ) when even our mama comments in a neutral , casual way about his weight etc.
We are very very scared of the road he's taking knowing we cannot help him stop as it is too late. We will not isolate him but we will not enable him. This is going to destroy our mama to see him continue to spiral.
My questions are :
- what could he possibly be on ? ( understandably a stimulant - do the symptoms mirror any specific drug ) if there is any speculation as to what it is - what progression of behavior can we expect ?
- what can i do to protect / help my mama ?
sorry if this is kind of jumbled together but my thoughts on this are like a tangled mess.
Thanks very much
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,473
Welcome to SR worriedsis 
I really have no idea, but whatever the cause, it definitely sounds like he needs help, from your post.
I hope he gets it.
You'll find a lot of support here - you might also like to check out our Family and Friends forum for more support
Friends and Family of Substance Abusers - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
D
I really have no idea, but whatever the cause, it definitely sounds like he needs help, from your post.
I hope he gets it.
You'll find a lot of support here - you might also like to check out our Family and Friends forum for more support
Friends and Family of Substance Abusers - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
D
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 6
WorriedSis,
In my experience with addicts, it sounds like he's on Heroin, I could be wrong as each person takes on different behaviors, but this is what it's sounding like. The important thing is to let him know that you are aware that there is a drug problem going on and to not be ashamed in admitting it. The thing you and your family have to realize and this is so very hard to understand because all loved ones want to fix or control the addiction for them but you must know until he admits his addiction and says he needs/wants help there really is nothing you can do except let him know your always going to be there when he's ready for the help, if that day still hasn't come for you yet then giving him information about addiction might open his mind a little, he still won't take it serious if he's not ready. Also it's important to not enable his addiction, no money, no rides, just be there for him in a different way. It takes such a toll on the family because all we want is for them to be sober and safe and happy again, but it is such a waste of emotions and energy if they aren’t willing to admit their problem and accept help, this doesn’t mean you stop asking every time you speak or see him, that way he knows you will always be there when he is ready. I would advise you and your family to educate yourselves on drug addiction, it helps to understand addicts a little more, remember this is an illness and they don't purposely do this to hurt other's, they are sick and need help. Rehab and therapy will be the second step after he admits his problems.
In my experience with addicts, it sounds like he's on Heroin, I could be wrong as each person takes on different behaviors, but this is what it's sounding like. The important thing is to let him know that you are aware that there is a drug problem going on and to not be ashamed in admitting it. The thing you and your family have to realize and this is so very hard to understand because all loved ones want to fix or control the addiction for them but you must know until he admits his addiction and says he needs/wants help there really is nothing you can do except let him know your always going to be there when he's ready for the help, if that day still hasn't come for you yet then giving him information about addiction might open his mind a little, he still won't take it serious if he's not ready. Also it's important to not enable his addiction, no money, no rides, just be there for him in a different way. It takes such a toll on the family because all we want is for them to be sober and safe and happy again, but it is such a waste of emotions and energy if they aren’t willing to admit their problem and accept help, this doesn’t mean you stop asking every time you speak or see him, that way he knows you will always be there when he is ready. I would advise you and your family to educate yourselves on drug addiction, it helps to understand addicts a little more, remember this is an illness and they don't purposely do this to hurt other's, they are sick and need help. Rehab and therapy will be the second step after he admits his problems.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Macomb/ Detroit, MI
Posts: 126
just a quick reply for whatever help it may be, I'm 90% sure he is using Meth, ALL things you stated are symptoms caused by that drug (you can verify this in any addiction medical journal per-say or NIDA, AMERSA sites) And for yourself and your mother I would suggest Al-anon meetings, these are for family and friends of addicts, you can find locations of meetings and a more in-depth description online.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 5
thank you all so much for the responses. it means so much. i will try to look at his arms ( its chilly here so hes in long sleeves ) to see if its needles or not.
1983 - do you have other siblings ( non-addicts ) as well ? if so, how did you deal with them. my other sibling is furious and wants nothing to do with him. can i also help him in some way so its not a source of further stress for our mama ?
1983 - do you have other siblings ( non-addicts ) as well ? if so, how did you deal with them. my other sibling is furious and wants nothing to do with him. can i also help him in some way so its not a source of further stress for our mama ?
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 7
As a recovering Meth addict, If I had to be, I'd lay money on Meth (possibly Heroin or Oxy). But from what you describe, it is very classical of the typical "tweeker". You can help by first approaching him when he is not in this state, and offer unconditional love and support to help get him clean. Many a time though, if an addict is not willing or ready to quit, the best and only thing you can do, is pray like you have never prayed before. I too pray for him, that he stops before it takes him to my Hell. Hang in there sweetie, you are a good sister.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 47
I don't know a whole lot about drugs. I'm learning fast though.
In this past week I've learned that my son is on speed and ICE. I believe meth is a term that they use for it as well. Correct me anyone if my belief is wrong.
My son's behavior sounds similar to your brothers before the past few months. The last time I saw him was a month and a half ago and apparently he is much worse.
Violent, extremely paranoid. Can't reason with him when he is high at all. He doesn't make sense, talks jibberish real fast and jumbled sentences about people trying to kill him, about me being unsafe because they will want to kill me too for just knowing him, that DIL is trying to kill him.
He constantly hears voices and believes that men are in the house and that DIL is sleeping with said imaginary men.
He will visit and be reasonably fine and then all of a sudden he just has to leave, often leaving without saying goodbye, just disappears. I've since learned it's so he can get high.
It's frightening.
In this past week I've learned that my son is on speed and ICE. I believe meth is a term that they use for it as well. Correct me anyone if my belief is wrong.
My son's behavior sounds similar to your brothers before the past few months. The last time I saw him was a month and a half ago and apparently he is much worse.
Violent, extremely paranoid. Can't reason with him when he is high at all. He doesn't make sense, talks jibberish real fast and jumbled sentences about people trying to kill him, about me being unsafe because they will want to kill me too for just knowing him, that DIL is trying to kill him.
He constantly hears voices and believes that men are in the house and that DIL is sleeping with said imaginary men.
He will visit and be reasonably fine and then all of a sudden he just has to leave, often leaving without saying goodbye, just disappears. I've since learned it's so he can get high.
It's frightening.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: north hollywood
Posts: 4
It is horrible to hear this.
It sounds like to me your brother is using crystal meth.
It is never too late to get him, let your brother know that, and the sooner he gets off it, the better quality life he will have.
If you have any questions feel free to check out my anti-drug website and contact me through there.
It sounds like to me your brother is using crystal meth.
It is never too late to get him, let your brother know that, and the sooner he gets off it, the better quality life he will have.
If you have any questions feel free to check out my anti-drug website and contact me through there.
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