Xanax
Grateful Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: MI
Posts: 1,080
My daughter was throwing up and shaking, due to xanax withdrawals, so I took her to the hospital. You might want to consider it if your symptoms get worse. They did not put her in a detox, and can not make you go into treatment without your consent
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Tonawanda, NY
Posts: 167
Julez I'm sorry about your daughter if you read the whole thread you would realize I now have 16 months clean from any drugs or alcohol. Thank you for your concern though and I will pray for your daughter tonight.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Tonawanda, NY
Posts: 167
Someone who I met on this site a year and a half ago, someone I consider my best friend, someone I love in every way, went back out and used. And it hurts and I'm sad. And I want him to come back and not give up but I don't want to pressure him. I went to a meeting tonight and shared about it but I do not know what to say to him. I just want to say I love you stop!!! But I know that won't work. I just need him to realize that even though we are not happy and glowing all the time when we are clean, it is still better than what we are when we are using.
Using, at least for me, takes away being human. I just want this person to give himself a chance. It hurts so bad. I know how sad and alone I felt when I though I couldn't stop. Iam sad for him and scared for him. I just want him to try again. He used to always call me a warrior. I need him to be a warrior and get through this. The thought of him being back out there kills me. I do not want him to die out there. He has so much potential but will not give himself the chance.....
I will pray for him.
Using, at least for me, takes away being human. I just want this person to give himself a chance. It hurts so bad. I know how sad and alone I felt when I though I couldn't stop. Iam sad for him and scared for him. I just want him to try again. He used to always call me a warrior. I need him to be a warrior and get through this. The thought of him being back out there kills me. I do not want him to die out there. He has so much potential but will not give himself the chance.....
I will pray for him.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Tonawanda, NY
Posts: 167
Man oh Man have I been a mess lately!! I am all over the place! I decided to stop taking all of my psych meds without consulting anyone. Well I have consulted someoen before and they just tell me not to come off of them. But anyways... It made me go crazy. I felt like I wasl literally losing my mind. I was either goin to get high or kill myself...
It started when someone I care about kind of pushed me a way a bit. It was hard. I am back to feeling like i am not worth someones love. Its hard to always feel like you are less than. But I can handle it. I know what I need to do. I need to open up about it. I started taking my meds again which has helped a bit. Its just pain- and pain will not kill me. I can handle whatever comes my way and I know that.
If anybody has read this entire thread they know that I am miles away from where I was back then. Thank God! I am goin to be coming up on 18 months clean and I really do not want to lose my clean time. i will fight my way through this struggle just like I have with all of my struggles in the past. .... one day at a time
I love you all!!
It started when someone I care about kind of pushed me a way a bit. It was hard. I am back to feeling like i am not worth someones love. Its hard to always feel like you are less than. But I can handle it. I know what I need to do. I need to open up about it. I started taking my meds again which has helped a bit. Its just pain- and pain will not kill me. I can handle whatever comes my way and I know that.
If anybody has read this entire thread they know that I am miles away from where I was back then. Thank God! I am goin to be coming up on 18 months clean and I really do not want to lose my clean time. i will fight my way through this struggle just like I have with all of my struggles in the past. .... one day at a time
I love you all!!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: East coast
Posts: 25
Oh Jenna
I love you! You are so strong. It is just pain...and if we just observe that and feel it instead of going to all our places to avoid it, it has much less impact.
Someone pushing you away is more about them than you!
My son is addicted to being addicted...Xanax is his current choice. He has so much to give and I hope he finds his way to a better place like you have.
I love you! You are so strong. It is just pain...and if we just observe that and feel it instead of going to all our places to avoid it, it has much less impact.
Someone pushing you away is more about them than you!
My son is addicted to being addicted...Xanax is his current choice. He has so much to give and I hope he finds his way to a better place like you have.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 13,497
Jenna!
I followed your thread earlier on, and my, it's so good to see you doing so well! I was so worried about you back then, and afraid for you. That was a trial, for you, and you learned from it, and have gone on to find that you are a strong woman, with so much to share, to help.
You are right, pain is just pain, and it will not kill us. that was a great big discovery for me, once upon a time. I had been running, running, to avoid pain, and then I just sat down and said, I will face this pain and stop running. fear of it was worse than the dealing with it !
So good to see you here, doing great. Life is tough sometimes, but we can learn how to make our way through it, without causing ourselves more pain and trouble.
You are an inspiration girl!!!!
hugs
chicory
I followed your thread earlier on, and my, it's so good to see you doing so well! I was so worried about you back then, and afraid for you. That was a trial, for you, and you learned from it, and have gone on to find that you are a strong woman, with so much to share, to help.
You are right, pain is just pain, and it will not kill us. that was a great big discovery for me, once upon a time. I had been running, running, to avoid pain, and then I just sat down and said, I will face this pain and stop running. fear of it was worse than the dealing with it !
So good to see you here, doing great. Life is tough sometimes, but we can learn how to make our way through it, without causing ourselves more pain and trouble.
You are an inspiration girl!!!!
hugs
chicory
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Tonawanda, NY
Posts: 167
Hey everyone! Just checking in. Things are all over the place here in Buffalo! One minute I'm happy and one minute I am enraged....The only thing staying the same is that I am clean. And sometimes, that is enough!
My sister is getting married next Friday and I am so happy that I get to be in the wedding. I know that if I would have stayed on the path that I was on I would not have made it til the wedding.
Today I am with my nephew Corey, 2, Niece Olivia, 9 and step-nephew
Brett, 6. I also have my two dogs and my sisters dog with me. It was insane and I love it I am so happy to be able to do this. What a beautiful day. I am going to take them all to the park- all three kids and all three dogs
Sometimes forcing myself to get out of my head is exactly what I need. Thinking too much is never a good thing!! Well I have to get going I keep hearing "Hey Aunt LaLa c'mon!!"
My sister is getting married next Friday and I am so happy that I get to be in the wedding. I know that if I would have stayed on the path that I was on I would not have made it til the wedding.
Today I am with my nephew Corey, 2, Niece Olivia, 9 and step-nephew
Brett, 6. I also have my two dogs and my sisters dog with me. It was insane and I love it I am so happy to be able to do this. What a beautiful day. I am going to take them all to the park- all three kids and all three dogs Sometimes forcing myself to get out of my head is exactly what I need. Thinking too much is never a good thing!! Well I have to get going I keep hearing "Hey Aunt LaLa c'mon!!"
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Denver
Posts: 235
I read your story from page 1 and if you are ever wondering if recovery is right for you or worth it. Reread your story from page one. When i was at page 5ish i honestly though the last page was going to read "Jenna passed a way today at... today..." Your story is incredibly inspirational and the amount of ground you have covered sense your days of use is astonishing. You did what seems so undoable to so many people. Came of probably the two hardest drugs to come of and have established a place of stability in which you begin to heal a wound as deep as rape. Remain humble, remain involved, and remain clean. Good luck
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Tonawanda, NY
Posts: 167
Thank you so much. I feel very blessed to be on my current path. I am grateful that my high power has guided me to where I am. I want people to know that if I can do they can do it. I am so happy to be where I am. Things are not easy but life is good. I did some step work today and then went to a rehab to put on an NA presentation. I hope that I am able to make a positive difference in just one persons life it will make my journey worth it. I can use all of my pain and struggles for good- what a blessing!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Southeast, USA
Posts: 631
Hey everyone,
I am still on 2mg a day, and am thinking soon of a verrrrrry slow taper again. I have wanted to wait because I am now 6 months free of alcohol and almost 13 months free of hydrocodone. This time last year I tried to do too many things at once.
I am so sensitive that my doctor has prescribed me the lowest dose available (.25mg) so I can cut that in half and maybe go a month in between tapers. Last year I did not go long enough in between drop downs. We shall see. I have not set a date yet because it is such a struggle. It is on my mind more and more though. Will keep everyone posted.
I am still on 2mg a day, and am thinking soon of a verrrrrry slow taper again. I have wanted to wait because I am now 6 months free of alcohol and almost 13 months free of hydrocodone. This time last year I tried to do too many things at once.
I am so sensitive that my doctor has prescribed me the lowest dose available (.25mg) so I can cut that in half and maybe go a month in between tapers. Last year I did not go long enough in between drop downs. We shall see. I have not set a date yet because it is such a struggle. It is on my mind more and more though. Will keep everyone posted.
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