Seriously, I need some opinions!!=)
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 626
Seriously, I need some opinions!!=)
So another day off of work and again I got a lot of rest, which was one of my goals for this time off but again, I had a hell of a time with cravings. I'm still sticking with my same amount but my god, why won't the urges for more just go the hell away?
Ultimately I won the battle today but it took a long time and a lot of mental effort. I'm proud of myself for not caving in but I really hope this is a temporary thing. Sometimes I wonder if there isn't something chemically wrong with my head but the answer that makes more sense is that I've been taking pills for one thing or another for so long that's in engrained in there pretty thick.
Any ideas how I break this record? If I just keep doing what I'm doing, (walking, reading, working steps thru the book, diverting my own attention, making sure I'm rested or not hungry, keeping busy, talking about it, getting on here), will it get better over time??? Please help me with this!!
At work, I'm so busy, there's never enough time in the day to get everything done. There isn't any time to think about using. It's my days off and I knew this would be an obstacle when I took vacation.
There isn't long left in my taper. I'm just concerned about struggling like this all the time> Any advice would be appreciated.
And meetings really aren't an option. I've tried several times, have had major anonymity problems twice and there isn't much around without everybody knowing all about me. I don't want that.
Ultimately I won the battle today but it took a long time and a lot of mental effort. I'm proud of myself for not caving in but I really hope this is a temporary thing. Sometimes I wonder if there isn't something chemically wrong with my head but the answer that makes more sense is that I've been taking pills for one thing or another for so long that's in engrained in there pretty thick.
Any ideas how I break this record? If I just keep doing what I'm doing, (walking, reading, working steps thru the book, diverting my own attention, making sure I'm rested or not hungry, keeping busy, talking about it, getting on here), will it get better over time??? Please help me with this!!
At work, I'm so busy, there's never enough time in the day to get everything done. There isn't any time to think about using. It's my days off and I knew this would be an obstacle when I took vacation.
There isn't long left in my taper. I'm just concerned about struggling like this all the time> Any advice would be appreciated.
And meetings really aren't an option. I've tried several times, have had major anonymity problems twice and there isn't much around without everybody knowing all about me. I don't want that.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 347
Theres a old saying you cant save your ass and your face at the same time. The first step employs alot of honesty and surrender. One of the biggest realizations i found was everyone knew i was getting high. I just thought it was a secret. Recovery has to be more important then what others say about you.
Id still suggest detox, rehab , then meetings. Recovery has to be very important in your life for it to work. It took me four years to work the steps honestly and learn how to apply them to my life. WIthout a sponsor it would have been impossible. Another old saying "your mind cant fix your mind" it rings true if it wasnt there would be no need for this site. Dont try to do it alone.
I'm not trying to be harsh at all. Getting over a drug addiction isnt a easy matter, it takes time, commitment, god ,help from others. It is a mental disease that tricks us into kiling ourselves and hurting our loved ones. these are my suggestions to you.
Id still suggest detox, rehab , then meetings. Recovery has to be very important in your life for it to work. It took me four years to work the steps honestly and learn how to apply them to my life. WIthout a sponsor it would have been impossible. Another old saying "your mind cant fix your mind" it rings true if it wasnt there would be no need for this site. Dont try to do it alone.
I'm not trying to be harsh at all. Getting over a drug addiction isnt a easy matter, it takes time, commitment, god ,help from others. It is a mental disease that tricks us into kiling ourselves and hurting our loved ones. these are my suggestions to you.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 626
Wow! Thank you Damascus!
I shall take all of your ideas into consideration. First of all, the people at work don't know. I'm certain of that. Also, i work in a VERY public place and when i did have a sponsor and was going to meetings i, twice, had a couple if people come in and right in front of everyone say, hey, i know you, you're from AA! i simply can't have that where i work. Making some calls and getting some help other than my husband and self help books is something i CAN do.
I also have an appt with my regular medical doctor and he has does have some experience with addiction, so i will bare all to him.
You're right, i need to make it even more of a priority than it is.
I smoked for 18 years and quitting was absolutely easy. I've heard from a lot of people that cigarettes was the hardest thing ever for them to quit. I need that same mentality of hating the pills like I've come to hate smokes.
Thank you again for answering! I'm not hurt or offended at all by your post. The truth hurts sometimes!!
I shall take all of your ideas into consideration. First of all, the people at work don't know. I'm certain of that. Also, i work in a VERY public place and when i did have a sponsor and was going to meetings i, twice, had a couple if people come in and right in front of everyone say, hey, i know you, you're from AA! i simply can't have that where i work. Making some calls and getting some help other than my husband and self help books is something i CAN do.
I also have an appt with my regular medical doctor and he has does have some experience with addiction, so i will bare all to him.
You're right, i need to make it even more of a priority than it is.
I smoked for 18 years and quitting was absolutely easy. I've heard from a lot of people that cigarettes was the hardest thing ever for them to quit. I need that same mentality of hating the pills like I've come to hate smokes.
Thank you again for answering! I'm not hurt or offended at all by your post. The truth hurts sometimes!!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,473
Have you tried some of the ideas in here Peanut ? Urge Surfing was very helpful to me.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-cravings.html
D
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-cravings.html
D
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Chicago
Posts: 1,125
Maybe try doing some one on one therapy with an addiction specialist. It helped me quite a bit when I was coming off methadone and dealing with cravings and anxiety. Meetings really do help (I prefer AA to NA, but it is up to you). Where I live there are basically meetings from 5am-10pm and I had plenty of days I was craving and about to text my dealer and was able to reach out to another addict or find a meeting and make it through.
I think when it comes down to it when you have had your ass handed to you enough times and are so sick and tired of feeling that way you are ready to try anything. Keep talking about it and reaching out for help and find what works best for you. Good Luck PNUT :-) !!!
I think when it comes down to it when you have had your ass handed to you enough times and are so sick and tired of feeling that way you are ready to try anything. Keep talking about it and reaching out for help and find what works best for you. Good Luck PNUT :-) !!!
Member
Join Date: May 2015
Location: London
Posts: 5
I've found doing this, writing on this site, helps. Maybe keeping a diary may help? Sounds pretty fluffy but screw it, when you're writing it, you not indludging. And the best advice is just...**** it. Yes, it gets hard, just don't do it. Do not do it. No matter what else, that is the key thing, it doesn't matter how you feel (it will get better), just do not make the physical motions required to induldge, if you feel your mind's giving up, don't let your body do it. It will get batter, think about why you want to give up, the negative conotations, and the benefits your getting from not doing it. Then stick on your favourite movie, or hit the gym, just do anything to keep you away and occupied until you get past the rough patch.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 626
Wow! Thank you everyone! Some awesome things for me to try!
I'm at the tail end of a suboxone taper and I'm only taking 1 mg at this point. One Monday, I'm going to cut it down and speed the process up. The amount i take at this point doesn't make me feel any different besides not being in horrible withdrawals, hence the taper. I forgot just how strong the mental cravings/thoughts/obsessions could be. Wow! I have actually started 2 journals and I'm using them.
It's obvious that I'll need to reach out to someone.
I really do thank God for you guys and this site. There is comfort in knowing you're not alone. Thanks again!
I'm at the tail end of a suboxone taper and I'm only taking 1 mg at this point. One Monday, I'm going to cut it down and speed the process up. The amount i take at this point doesn't make me feel any different besides not being in horrible withdrawals, hence the taper. I forgot just how strong the mental cravings/thoughts/obsessions could be. Wow! I have actually started 2 journals and I'm using them.
It's obvious that I'll need to reach out to someone.
I really do thank God for you guys and this site. There is comfort in knowing you're not alone. Thanks again!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Livonia, MI
Posts: 18
Originally Posted by damascus1986 
you know ur job cant fire you for being in recovery. They could for using but not for being in recovery. If the AA group is breaking your atonimity try NA.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 347
funny everyone here at the hospital knows in in recovery. including the CEO, my directors, boss gives me every march 1 off to get my keytag. worked here for 3 years fine. ive had extended conversations with co workers about it. i tend to think people are less accepting of it if you keep getting high.
either way my recovery comes before anything including my job. i tend to try to accept gods will in my life. hes always taken care of me even when i was in my addiction. i can see that now after working the steps. If you loose a job because you cleaned up your act it wasnt the right job for you.
or keep the job and the secrets hopefully the disease doesnt kill you or put you behind bars. the only way a addict like me got clean was throught riggourous honesty. to each theyre own.
either way my recovery comes before anything including my job. i tend to try to accept gods will in my life. hes always taken care of me even when i was in my addiction. i can see that now after working the steps. If you loose a job because you cleaned up your act it wasnt the right job for you.
or keep the job and the secrets hopefully the disease doesnt kill you or put you behind bars. the only way a addict like me got clean was throught riggourous honesty. to each theyre own.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 626
That's awesome damascus! Thanks you guys for asking about me.
I bought the book Rational Recovery and it really, really hit a spot for me that nothing else ever did.
I reduced a little more today and I'm feeling it but I'm no longer scared of withdrawals. I always feared it. Now i know i can do it.
When i got clean off of methadone, i had a sponsor and i went to AA meetings. She was an alcoholic, not into anything else. We worked the steps together and i applied as much as i could. She was a great help! I also went to meetings.
After awhile, i noticed that i was hearing the same stories, over and over. It seemed like i could get so far with it and that was it.
I really haven't found any other meetings that I'm comfortable with but my Co worker has a pretty good idea what is going on with me and i feel i can trust her. She is 23 years sober. I have that resource, this site, rational recovery, my husband and my doctor also knows what I'm doing.
I'm feeling pretty confident at this point and i haven't felt like that in years so something is working!
I bought the book Rational Recovery and it really, really hit a spot for me that nothing else ever did.
I reduced a little more today and I'm feeling it but I'm no longer scared of withdrawals. I always feared it. Now i know i can do it.
When i got clean off of methadone, i had a sponsor and i went to AA meetings. She was an alcoholic, not into anything else. We worked the steps together and i applied as much as i could. She was a great help! I also went to meetings.
After awhile, i noticed that i was hearing the same stories, over and over. It seemed like i could get so far with it and that was it.
I really haven't found any other meetings that I'm comfortable with but my Co worker has a pretty good idea what is going on with me and i feel i can trust her. She is 23 years sober. I have that resource, this site, rational recovery, my husband and my doctor also knows what I'm doing.
I'm feeling pretty confident at this point and i haven't felt like that in years so something is working!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 4,966
That's wonderful peanut! Happy you have so much support and something that speaks to you! RR speaks to me too. I followed it's principals when I quit smoking.
It makes so much sense and makes me feel more "in control" if you get what I mean?
Damascus very happy you found what works for you too. I agree, my recovery comes before anything else. Quit my job so that I could concentrate on my recovery. I know not everyone has that luxury. It's not really a luxury though....since we have had to cut back so much. Put us in a very arduous position actually.
It makes so much sense and makes me feel more "in control" if you get what I mean?
Damascus very happy you found what works for you too. I agree, my recovery comes before anything else. Quit my job so that I could concentrate on my recovery. I know not everyone has that luxury. It's not really a luxury though....since we have had to cut back so much. Put us in a very arduous position actually.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 626
This is true Damascus!
I really enjoy working with her. She gives off wonderful vibes and is comforting to be around. My AV hated her before she started working side by side with me. But now it doesn't know what to do because I realize all the crap it was telling me was bull ****.
Ha!
I really enjoy working with her. She gives off wonderful vibes and is comforting to be around. My AV hated her before she started working side by side with me. But now it doesn't know what to do because I realize all the crap it was telling me was bull ****.
Ha!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
