CodysDad

I'm working my 6th and 7th...have "done" both with my sponsor, but have huge hesitations about giving up some of my character defects. If I ask God to relieve me of some of them now, it won't be sincere.

Asking God to remove the few specific defects I'm referring to will entail my making some major changes in my life, specifically in a relationship. It's a relationship I need to cut loose, but I find myself continually walking right up to the edge of making the necessary change...and balking.

Has anyone else had this kind of experience in the 6th and 7th? I would be very grateful to hear how others have overcome this kind of resistance. My sponsor points to prayer, which I have been and will continue doing; but I truly believe my underlying feelings for this person (perhaps an addiction to this person) may make my prayers about this defect less sincere/ or like a form of spiritual..."self-gratification".

Any input would be greatly appreciated!

Best to all!

C'sD

bbthumper

Sometime we have to pray for the willingness to be willing as my sponsor tells me.

tomsteve

If we can answer to our satisfaction, we then look at Step Six. We have emphasized willingness as being indispensable. Are we now ready to let God remove from us all the things which we have admitted are objectionable? Can He now take them all - every one? If we still cling to something we will not let go, we ask God to help us be willing

sugarbear1

I was absolutely willing to have god remove all of my defects of character. Step 6, an hour of deep thought so I made sure I didn't leave anything out and Step 7 a prayer.

My sponsor reminds me that "god is too much of a gentleman to take anything I am still grasping onto"

It's also up to my higher power which character defects to take, not up to me to decide which to give up, although if I hold on tight to one or more, I will surely endure the consequences of that...

Willingness. I was done killing myself with alcohol, I was absolutely willing to have god take what needed to be taken. Now, it's up to me to find my habits of behaving, which I can work on with the help of my higher power.

It's not up to me to decide which character defects are going to be useful to another person or not; sometimes my higher power grants me the use of a defect or two under certain situations....sometimes not....again, it's not up to me, but I must be totally willing to allow god to make me more useful to others......

paul99

That has been my experience when I look to be claiming and clinging on to something that isn't mine to claim.

CodysDad

Thank you guys for your help!

I have some serious praying to do.

Best,

C'sD

Tommyh

Perhaps there is a better way-we think so. For we are now on a different basis of trusting and relying upon God. We trust infinite God rather than our finite selves. We are in the world to play the role He assigns. Just to the extent that we do as we think He would have us, and humbly rely on Him, does He enable us to match calamity with serenity.
We never apologize to anyone for depending upon our Creator. We can laugh at those who think spirituality the way of weakness. Paradoxically, it is the way of strength. The verdict of the ages is that faith means courage. All men of faith have courage. They trust their God. We never apologize for God. Instead we let Him demonstrate, through us, what He can do. We ask Him to remove our fear and direct our attention to what He would have us be. At once, we commence to outgrow fear.


here is a tool to use to outgrow the fear
when the fear lessens,sanity becomes more clearer to you and then you can see what you ought to do
it make take a few day or even a few weeks,but it has never failed me

JJKman

This was very helpful and, not coincidentally, what I needed to be reminded of right now.

zbear23

I was "hooked" on some of my character defects. Like a drug, I knew I needed to stop, and tried to stop, but they were as stubborn as any addiction. Seems I was powerless and my life was unmanageable....so I went through the Steps oriented to certain character defects as my drug(s) of choice. It worked pretty well. And I was't surprised, I sometimes forget that the 12 steps can be applied to many different entrenched problems.

DayTrader

That's about the peak of this spiritual f'n giant's 6th step........lmao.

Sometimes it's praying for the willingness to pray for the willingness to be willing....... cuz sometimes even my prayers for willingness aren't remotely sincere

UncleMeat69

I was sober for 22 years before I quit cigarettes. It was on my 6th. Step
list. Finally, I was able to do it. 6 years in January. My sponsees would
bug the cheet out of me after they were successful with nicotine.
I look at nicotine as the "thorn in my side" until HP removed it because
it was my most insidious character defect....

coraltint

Being asked to give a lead on Step 6, I've dug in recently, and have come here for more insight, thanks, all!

I would add to the discussion something I read yesterday:

Most (if not all) of my character defects are rooted in a God-given instinct that I've warped due to overuse, neglect, immaturity, whatevs. So it seems to me that what I'm becoming ready to have removed, and then humbly asking my HP to remove, is the WARPING.

Giving up certain lustful ways of thinking doesn't mean I'm never going to be romantic again. Pride run amok = arrogance & narcissism; properly sized & positioned, it looks more like self-esteem.

I don't find it so hard to be willing to give these defects up when I think of them in this light.

january161992

the 12X12 says the 6th step is .....

the step that separates the men from the boys.

im a boy and i suck on this step

all i can offer is that the word "entirely" is not to be interpreted literally

its a goal/ intent/ ideal/ something to shoot for