dwtbd

I would like to add that since deciding to quit , for good, I now have the ability to fix any cracks without the corrosive effects of a toxic solvent.
Onward!

silentrun

That statement is a little scary. I can spin my own situation into probably very easily. I had a period there were it kept coming up and I reached the same conclusion. Too risky to chance it. Then again it did just morph on me and came at me from a different angle.

dwtbd

SR
Perhaps my point was too nuanced. I meant that I 'think' I could 'probably' try it even just once, feel the effects of a small amount of alcohol and not immediately go 'off the rails', but I Know I do not want to even try, yes? At least let me revel in my fantasy of curedness , though not fanciful I do consider myself cured of alcohol addiction. I do not, however, believe I am cured of the potential of becoming addicted again, and in short order me thinks, so quit I am and quit I stay .

JeffreyAK

I quit smoking weed at the end of college, 28 years ago, having been a heavy daily smoker for the previous 8 years. I did try it again in the mid-90's, just out of curiousity, and I truly hated the buzz and had no interest in smoking again. Still don't. It wasn't something I enjoyed anymore, and at the time it didn't seem like a big deal to test the water. Will I eventually do that with alcohol, past the range of my crystal ball? I don't know, but I do know that for me, that sort of "test" could very easily be a prelude to relapse. I was a lot farther out in the deep end with alcohol than I ever was with weed, so the risk would be high, and what would I really learn? I have no interest in drinking anymore, so it would not surprise me if I didn't like the buzz anymore, it would probably be scary like a flashback. And if I did like it, what then? I can't ever drink again, not as a normal person, not for long, so I would just rile up the reptile again and make life harder for myself for a while. Just no reason to go there.

MesaMan

Before I made Da Big Plan, I gave some 'Pot Butter' a try. Lovingly made by a Pal's Son's Gal Friend. The Son grew legally for ~20 Medical Clients. All aspects were very tightly controlled.

I put a smidge of this Butter the size of ~1/2 Pinky Fingernail area on a Cracker. Man, I got so baked, I couldn't do a thing for 8 hours except listen to my Heart race. Very uncomfortable. These 'Kids' are turning out Crops with ~22% THC. This ain't your College Weed. This concentrated Pot Butter was something like 2x that strength. 'Twas not for me. I didn't cotton to that sort of Buzz anymore. However, it was a useful step - another Brick In The Wall - to not go there, and merely transfer Addictions. Also, I'd read eons ago - in the respected U.K. Journal 'Lancet' - about how major Heart Arteries shrink ~50% in diameter ~45 minutes after Pot ingestion. I need that side effect like a hole in the Head.

Had to try it, and I'm glad I did. The Root Solution was: Sober up.

I see that waking up this morning at about 3 A.M. skewed my Figures. Change all the values in my Post #38 above to read '80 Proof' [40% Alc]; not '40 Proof'.
-

silentrun

I have been meaning to ask you does dwtbd stand for don't want to be dead?
I can really relate to that sentiment. I remember a comment on here about someone saying it had gotten into their soul. I think that was the moment I woke up when it started seeping into my soul. I was completely destroyed so it came into fill the void it had hollowed out.
Denial kept me there far too long but it also protected me from some of it. I can't go back there. Especially not now when I will be lucid as it takes me apart piece by piece. I will know what is happening and I will not be able to stop it. I have to be sure that I can handle whatever comes my way. I won't survive another round.
I know that sounds pessimistic but it had me. It loosened it's grip on me just for a second and I made a run for it.

alphaomega

Good stuff Hooker. Really good stuff.

dwtbd

AO , hope you mean the TJ kind, but I guess everyone has to make a living, SR you're not self employed are you?

Ananda

I love this signature:

“I would rather have questions that can't be answered than answers that can't be questioned.”

bookmaven

I thought I could handle "just one" so I tried it. And guess what? Nothing bad happened. And that's the whole point. It absolutely reinforces the idea that "see, I can handle just one." The problem is that after a few times, just one becomes just two, and then after that I have no stop mechanism. The alcohol takes over and I end up making terrible choices. Entertaining the idea of maybe possibly just one, just this one time is extremely dangerous to my sobriety.

YMMV