brynn

Y'all, I got some really hard news yesterday.

2 1/2 months ago I would have drunk my way to blackout and beyond over this.
But not now! See, I made my Big Plan and because I had that firmly in place, I woke up sober today.

Yesterday was by far the biggest test I've had since committing to permanent abstinence and I admit that I allowed myself to listen to my AV for way too long. But...the bottom line is that when the crud hit the fan I ultimately didn't have to wrestle with whether I would drink or not because my Big Plan has become my default setting.

LBrain

way to go brynn,

I hope everything is okay. Glad you are firm on not drinking. Being able to do that helps you to be strong in other areas as well.

SDH73

Nice one, Brynn!

Wholesome

I'm sorry you got bad news Brynn. I hope you are holding up ok There is not a bad situation that pouring booze onto it will help so I'm glad you are sticking to your Big Plan. Whatever it is you will find a way to get through it! You can't drown your sorrows.... I know because I've tried. Way to go staying strong!

anattaboy

It's good to be the King, eh?

freshstart57

That is wonderful, Brynn, a great achievement. The tests will continue to come of course, but they each one get easier as we gain confidence in ourselves, something missing for such a long time. During difficult times, I actually look back and look inside and try to appreciate and understand what I have achieved through getting sober and living again. It is a great source of comfort and encouragement, a self-soothe. I just realized that I used to get drunk to soothe myself, now it is sobriety that is the comfort instead.

You are doing great, Brynn. Onward!

SoberLeigh

Well done, brynn.

I am sorry about the news which you received. Hope things improve.

Lenina

This is the best part of the Big Plan. no uncertainty, no going back and forth. The deal is done and settled. no other options!

Sorry you've had bad news and happy to know you're sober!

Love from Lenina

brynn

Thanks for the well wishes, y'all.

Yes...the confidence I've gained from exercising my right to CHOOSE abstinence has absolutely spilled over into every area of my life. Living life deliberately and on my own terms is kind of a new concept for me! I'm 37 and it's actually kind of embarrassing to admit that!... But then again....how can you possibly live life deliberately when your a blackout drunk???

And I agree...there is a lot of comfort in being sober. There's a security in being in control, in ordering your day, in completing daily tasks, in just living life lucidly. The tests will come, but I'm prepared!

Oh, and anattaboy....its even better to be the Queen!

Fluffer

Way to show your AV who's the boss! I went through a very stressful situation in early sobriety and was so glad to be sober through the experience so I could deal with it successfully.

TryTryAgain

Brynn you exude strength and confidence. Sorry for the hard news but so happy about your resolve!

Bravo!

WhatBeast

As a relative newcomer (about 4 months) to The Big Plan, I find this very Inspiring and helpful. Thank you for the reminder that never means never! En courage!

eternalLiberty

Very glad brynn, that you recognized your AV in time. I found your post interesting because you said "I alllowed myself to listen to my AV".

AVRT teaches how to listen to the voice so we can hear it loud and clear in order to recognize it. So you always have to listen to it the first time it pops out, that is part of recognition, the "for way too long" seems to be suspicious. In this stage are you certain it was a listening issue? Or was it really a debate between you and the AV? Did you replied to it? Then it wasnt a listening issue, it was a debate, you were conversating with your Beast. Right?

JaneLane

I finsihed reading Rational Recovery yesterday and my mind is blown, in a good way. I'm glad to hear how positive you are!

JaneLane

I just realised the last post here was in March...sorry guys!

GerandTwine

JL,

Actually, I think that's an important way Secular Connections works. Once someone "gets" AVRT and comes up with the "right" answer to "What are my plans for the future use of alcohol/drugs?" it's quite natural that they get on with life and spend less time "in recovery". So, bringing an old thread up to date is common here.

Glad to hear you like AVRT.
And, what are your plans for the future use of alcohol/drugs?
That is, if that's what you've been addicted to.

GT

Dee74

This Secular Connections forum is open to all secular methods, not just those doing RR

Yeah, but I think that's the same here for a lot of people GT, not just the AVRTers -

D

JaneLane

Thanks :-)

my plan is to work on recognising that AV which has been a huge thing for me. I have a very sneaky AV. It's never obvious, it just creeps in. I have previously attended a lot of AA meetings and I'm fortunate in that I have a few friends who "do" AVRT too, so it's nice to talk to them about it and bounce ideas.

dwtbd

Idea bouncing is generally a very good thing

GerandTwine

JL,

Technically, your answer is a non-answer, when you think about it. In AVRT detail about the exact answer to that question is very important.

Your answer reminds me of a struggle I was going through a few years ago right here in Secular Connections. I was using AVRT on eating sugar products (minus fresh fruit), and was reminded how important a Big Plan was to AVRT. Like you, before I made a Big Plan, it felt like my AV was sneaky and just when I really should have recognized it, I didn't.

I had cut way way back on eating sweets, maybe once a month for that last year, and was regretting how often I had to address my Sugar Beast's Addictive Voice. Of, course, I would usually tell it to screw it, but occasionally, I would think, "OK, I'm going to eat just that one piece of keylime pie and then hold back again."

I inevitably came to understand how inefficient it was to be doing AVRT that way. I say inevitably because I think anyone who is really doing AVRT will soon become aware that It Makes No Sense To Continue Practicing AVRT Without A Big Plan.

After I did commit to a Big Plan for man-made sweets, I immediately grasped how obvious my Addictive Voice was. I had a WOW experience right here while in the middle of posting on Secular Connections. Making a Big Plan exposes the AV so, so clearly from then on.

The AVRT Matrix graphically summarizes how the Technique of Recognition makes the Addictive Voice - "IT" - so obvious.

You can view Terminally Unique's post with the AVRT Matrix in the following SC page. It's post #371.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...rt-3-a-19.html