VikingGF

I keep count of my sober days. I will never drink again. If I will never drink again, I do not have to count the days, because they are insignificant. I do not adhere to one day at a time, because I will never drink again no matter what. So why count them? Does it mean I am waiting to fail if I keep counting? Because I really do like counting them, even though I completely understand why I should not feel the need to do so.

SoberHoopsFan

The counting thing is whatever. Whether you do or do not count, you will always know the exact date you stopped drinking because it is a big event in your life. You'll remember it just like any other big event in your life. Doesn't mean you are counting down to failure just because you know the number of days or keep track. One thing I'll say is I don't care about milestones anymore like I did at the beginning of my sobriety. Once you have been fixed of your urge to drink and don't desire it anymore, total length of sobriety is just arbitrary.

AncientHighway

will you always remember that date? only if you choose to I guess. I don't remember the day I first met my high school girlfriend, the date I bought my first car, house, or those of many other significant life events including those related to addiction. The dates are as significant as you want them to be. Counting "days of sobriety" is irrelevant to me. I have never found it to be useful. The milestones of "early recovery" aren't set in stone but if you like counting the days then what's the problem? There's no need to think you should feel otherwise, right?

fini

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post4417919

VikingGF

Thank you all so much, and fini, thanks for the link.

Fly N Buy

VikingGF - So, I posted a thread today about obsession with my sobriety. Yes, counting days is part of this for me as well.

I am thinking this is pretty common and doesn't mean headed to more drinking. Right there with ya!

Fly

suki44883

I think whatever works for you is what you should do. There are no hard and fast rules other than don't drink no matter what. However you are able to accomplish that is the right thing for you.

Soberpotamus

I think each day is significant And I plan to never drink again. Why can't the days be both significant (as we experience them) and insignificant as "milemarkers" as if it's a linear path we are forging?

The less I see my life as a linear path spattered with goals to achieve, along with accomplishment markers, the more it can be a one-day-at-a-time, whole sort of experience. Not to say it's pointless to have goals, because it certainly can be a great thing to have goals.

I counted my days until I hit 90 days or so, then I slacked off. I'm well aware of my sober time and probably always will feel proud of it. But now I want to measure my days by the quality and meaning in them. It just feels better to me. And I can sustain that

VikingGF

I saw that, Flynbuy. Made me feel better!

fini

you're welcome.
i'm, one who "gets" that it's irrelevant since you'll be sober forever, yet i loved the initial daycount going up. after a few weeks, i counted weeks, then months, and after my first year, only years.
so it's weird to me that i just had my eighth full year, and though i don't count, i wanted to tell!!
so i'm telling

MythOfSisyphus

I don't obsessively count sober days. But I do keep a general track (eg months, years, etc). In part this gives me a sense of accomplishment, nothing more or less. I disagree that counting is setting you up to fail nor does it mean you "know" you will drink again.

In practical terms I don't care how long I have been sober. I'm sober right now and will be tomorrow. The days ahead of me are so much more precious than the ones behind.

Joe Nerv

The majority of people count days. I did. Then I counted weeks, then months, years, and now decades. My first year of drinking I didn't know if I was quitting forever. Wasn't till my 2nd sober year that I knew it was a done deal, for life. The counting thing has had no real bearing on my sobriety. If anything it helped, because the more time I had the more I didn't want to let it go. I know the date I put the drink down. It's not likely I'm going to ever forget it. Not a big deal if I pop that date into a sobriety calculator to see how many days I have, or tell someone how many years I'm sober should they ask. Seems like I'd be lying to myself to think or say anything other than, well... the truth.

Nonsensical

I do all kinds of things I don't have to do. It makes life far more interesting.

Congrats on your decision to live a sober life!

MesaMan

VikingGF ~

Since you perused Flynbuy's Thread on this Topic [kinda], you've read my $0.02 worth. Except, it's never an economical $0.02 worth because I type at ~80 WPM.

I don't count anymore. I remember Weeks or Fridays; the day of the week I quit Cold Turkey.

While tooling around Scotland in a rented RV - and having a blast - we visited the Neolithic Site 'Skara Brae'. Fantastic place; uncovered by a raging Storm many Decades ago. Built partially-underground to escape the raging Weather of the North Sea.

Some OCD types there, like many of us, kept track of Seeds from Season to Season. The Growing Season that far North is brief, with intense, long, Sunny days. So, this 'counting' type was key to the Clan surviving by maintaining Seeds to plant. Some OCD Behavior -> Good. Starvation -> Bad.

Me, I've got a new Truck I obsess over a bit. It's fun. It takes me back to my SoCal Roots where Vehicles were a big part of our High School lives. I won't say it 'keeps' me from Drinking, but my new-found, Sober energy has to focus somewhere.

I say: don't sweat counting. It's not a latent Relapse waiting to get cha. Celebrate it. Do it. Then, dismiss it. Then, live on Sober. Congrats!


Skara Brae Overview


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foolsgold66

I've never been a big counter. Continuity is what I'm after.

Joe Nerv

I just had an interesting thought.

I started smoking cigarettes when I was about 11 years old. By the time I was 17, I smoked 2 1/2 to 3 packs a day, and did that until I was sober over 5 years which would have made me 28 or 29 years old. That's a pretty long time with a pretty heavy habit, yet I don't have a clue about the date I quit smoking. I don't know the year, nor even the month. To the best of my recollection I counted days for about 2 weeks tops.

I have no idea why I counted the alcohol days (weeks, months and years), and not the cigarette days? Could be because quitting cigarettes was done a lot more on my own? I was applying what I learned in AA, but not getting any specific support from people or meetings. Could be also because drinking I quit once only (I drank ever single day for the 4 yrs prior to my sobriety). Cigarettes I unsuccessfully tried to quit about 1000 times. Hmm.... regardless, I have about 25 years cigarette free now.

FWIW, I think the one thought that helped me most with cigarettes and alcohol was the idea that someone stuck in my head that our addictions are like the burners on a gas stove. When we stop, it's as though we blow out the pilot light. We may get urges to drink, smoke, whatever, but so long as we don't put a match to that pilot light it's all good. Picking up one single drink, one single drag off of a cigarette, is the equivalent to getting that pilot light back on again. The addiction is on again, and I'm back into my battle. And that battle was one I always lost. In short, it was imperative that I stayed away from that first sip of alcohol, and that first puff of a cigarette. And to come full circle with all this and back on topic, in my mind that meant I'd have to start counting my days all over again. Go through ALL I just went through, AGAIN, to wind up in the same exact spot where I stood at the time I was battling whatever urge I was battling. I knew it was going to get easier if I somehow resisted, and much harder if I gave in. Only wanted to go through whatever I was going through once.

Cascabel

That thought works for me and drinking but not for smoking. I quit smoking about 50 years ago. Since then, on a couple of occasions, I tried a cigarette and the experience simply reminded me of what a ghastly habit smoking is and how glad I am I quit. It's not that way with alcohol although I wish it were. One glass of wine and the "pilot" light is in full flame again.

Received

I know when I put the alcohol down for good because that was the evening I joined here. I quit smoking a few months after that but couldn't tell you when.

As a former 12 stepper, sometimes it takes mindfulness NOT to count and to further complicate things not have a "one day at a time mentality".

Shrug....

VikingGF

I haven't been counting days of late. 4 months coming up, I have that date in my head, but maybe that won't stick either. Now it seems more important to hit the pillow sober every night, more and more things are in my head than just being sober. Looking back, I can now see what a fight it was in the beginning, how all-consuming even though I had my Big Plan. I wonder how long it took me to really believe that I could do this and didn't have to obsess about not drinking all the time. So grateful for Rational Recovery and this site. All good things.

VikingGF

Skara Brae looks incredible!! I had a friend visiting Scotland last year and she told me about it. I would love to see it myself one day.