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Big Plan Becomes Superfluous?

Old 04-17-2013, 11:22 AM
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Big Plan Becomes Superfluous?

This is just something I've noticed, and I wonder if anyone else is having the same experience.

It seems that the Big Plan is kind of becoming superfluous now that I can recognize and dismiss the AV. I don't really need to tell the beast anymore that I will never drink again, because, for the rest of my life, it can't come up with a good reason why I should. I really don't want to ever drink again, and with good separation from the beast, there is no ambivalence about that. I could easily give myself permission to drink all that I want, with the caveat that I can't lie to myself (i.e. believe the beast's lies) about it. More and more, instead of just saying to myself I will never drink again when the AV starts chattering, I just notice the lie. For example, when the AV suggests having just one, I am not tempted at all because I have completely accepted that having just one is never going to happen, and that it would be wrong - morally wrong - to try something that I know with 100% certainty will fail.

So the Big Plan is still in place, but now it feels more like a safety net made out of willpower. My real safety is the end of ambivalence that has come with recognizing AV lies.

Hope that all makes sense, it's hard to articulate.
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Old 04-17-2013, 12:59 PM
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Originally Posted by soberknitter
My real safety is the end of ambivalence that has come with recognizing AV lies.
This is exactly how I feel.
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Old 04-17-2013, 02:38 PM
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I kind of understand what you're say SK and I know I'm not yet at the place where my BP seems superfluous.

I had a situation this past weekend that really made my beast go crazy. I was trying to make sense out of something I had read when suddenly I realized my AV and I were becoming of "one mind" so to speak. I became aware of it and it really freaked me out.

After reaching out to, and getting help from two members here, I was unable to unravel it and beat my beast back down.

I look forward to the end of my ambivalence and recognizing my AV for all it's lies and sneaky ways. Until such time I'll take the safety net.

Not sure THAT made any sense.
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Old 04-17-2013, 03:21 PM
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correction

meant to post "I was ABLE to unravel it and beat my beast back down.
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Old 04-17-2013, 06:30 PM
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Here's the way it works for me. I mentioned this a while ago on the thread about 'unrealistic AV recognition'. My Big Plan helps me recognize my AV by defining it. Thoughts about alcohol aren't AV unless they make me uncomfortable in the light of my BP. It is my BP that pushes them over the fence into AV land where I can recognize them.

A safety net made of willpower is one way of describing a BP, but for me it is also a tool that engages my recognition/mindful awareness. It allows me to answer the question - is this particular thought about alcohol from my AV? Part of the recognition aspect of AVRecognitionT.

SoberKnitter, I do agree that for me the function of my BP has changed, and the willpower part has taken second place to the awareness part. Thank goodness for that! Oscar Wilde and I share that difficulty with the whole temptation thing.
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Old 04-17-2013, 06:57 PM
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Originally Posted by freshstart57 View Post
... Thoughts about alcohol aren't AV unless they make me uncomfortable in the light of my BP. It is my BP that pushes them over the fence into AV land where I can recognize them.
What a great way to put it!

I suppose the BP works kind of like a lie detector for our thoughts around alcohol. If a thought is incongruous with the BP - and what is mental discomfort, if not holding simultaneous incompatible thoughts - then it's fallacious and to be ignored.

I guess I'm finding that lately I don't even have to hold thoughts about drinking up to the light of my BP. They are so transparently false that just noticing the lies seems to chase them away. Perhaps if a lie gets ignored enough, it loses any power to convince that it once held.

Of course, this new feeling may just be my frontal lobes starting to recover some function.
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Old 04-17-2013, 09:19 PM
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Originally Posted by SoberKnitter View Post
What a great way to put it!

Of course, this new feeling may just be my frontal lobes starting to recover some function.
Hi, I'm new on this site. Been at recovery a bit though. I like the humor SoberKnitter. I think AVRT is a learned skill, if I understand it correctly. It would make sense that you are getting better then, as you continue to practice it. Hopefully it continues to become second nature.

Take care, Todd
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Old 04-18-2013, 02:46 AM
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In my case, my BP represents my (long overdue) admission that there can never be any type of moderate alcohol use. Not even my very last version of moderation which was to get drunk a few times a year.

In that regard, I don't think it will ever become superfluous for me - but I have a lot of sobriety ahead of me to see what happens.
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Old 04-19-2013, 08:13 AM
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My beast has been surprisingly quiet the past month or so. Here and there it will growl to let me know its still there. I love that I am no longer struggling to remain sober. Drunk is not an option.

SK- I love what you are saying. Ending the ambivalence was key for me also.
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Old 04-19-2013, 08:32 AM
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I am so new new to this and finding it hard. However, I am inspired by the messages from people who are further down the line than me and I hope my 3 weeks of sobriety can become a lifetime plan of action. Thank you for your inspiration.
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Old 04-19-2013, 08:34 AM
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Well Hey there Harvey-
Great to cyber-meet ya... I believe it is difficult at first but, once the decision is made it does become easier.... Ive been gone a few days but am glad your here. Jess
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Old 04-19-2013, 08:49 AM
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Harveysmiles:
I hate to be the AV police, but I have found it helpful when people have done it to me, so I'm doing it to you. I hope you will take it with the spirit it is intended, and I hope someone will correct me if I'm wrong.

Originally Posted by Harveysmiles View Post
... and I hope my 3 weeks of sobriety can become a lifetime plan of action.
The word "hope" is AV. You don't have to hope anything, because you are steering the ship.

If you've made your Big Plan, it's done. It's not something you ever have to do again. I don't think it's a plan of action, because it's pretty passive: You hear AV, you dismiss it as AV. Wash, rinse, repeat. Sometimes it's easy, sometimes it's difficult, but it never requires action.

The beast can't make you do anything against your will. It is a paper tiger.
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Old 04-19-2013, 09:05 AM
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Sometimes I don't recognize my AV and it's very helpful when it's pointed out to me. Also, sometimes I have had to reach out to other members to untwist my thinking as the AV can be very, very sneaky. I've made the BP and I will not drink. That isn't even a consideration.

Getting help from others in recognizing my AV has been very helpful with beating the beast down.
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