Big Plan Becomes Superfluous?
This is just something I've noticed, and I wonder if anyone else is having the same experience.
It seems that the Big Plan is kind of becoming superfluous now that I can recognize and dismiss the AV. I don't really need to tell the beast anymore that I will never drink again, because, for the rest of my life, it can't come up with a good reason why I should. I really don't want to ever drink again, and with good separation from the beast, there is no ambivalence about that. I could easily give myself permission to drink all that I want, with the caveat that I can't lie to myself (i.e. believe the beast's lies) about it. More and more, instead of just saying to myself I will never drink again when the AV starts chattering, I just notice the lie. For example, when the AV suggests having just one, I am not tempted at all because I have completely accepted that having just one is never going to happen, and that it would be wrong - morally wrong - to try something that I know with 100% certainty will fail.
So the Big Plan is still in place, but now it feels more like a safety net made out of willpower. My real safety is the end of ambivalence that has come with recognizing AV lies.
Hope that all makes sense, it's hard to articulate.