Debating a party....

Old 03-11-2009, 02:11 AM
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Question Debating a party....

Well... here is my situation, would love some feedback. My father in law is having a b-day party, coming all the way from the east coast. Huzzy and I are invited of course. The party is quite a drive for us so we are/were going to make it sort of a mini vacation too. Here is the hiccup...there will be drinking at this party, not to excess Im sure but it will be there. I have already talked with my mother in law and of course I will have all the support both she and huzzy can offer, agreed to "hang with me" and not drink and of course some other options. I have been thinking and thinking about this party...will I be ok being around alcohol? I would like to be able to go and ignore it....but what I feel right now is fear. Im not sure if I fear that I will want to drink (which I havent wanted to since sober) or that I just plain am scared of alcohol now...even being around it. (Does that seem silly?) I really want to go, it would be such a fun trip and huzzy and I haven't gone away together really since I got sober. I dont know...could be I am making a big deal out of nothing?! OR Its something really important and Im not being straight enough about it? Geeeeshh OR maybe I could go on the trip and not attend the actual party? (The family really isn't into drinking so I wouldn't really have to worry much about the rest of the trip.)

Any thoughts? Please be gentle. :ghug
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Old 03-11-2009, 04:09 AM
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Old 03-11-2009, 04:19 AM
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I understand you engagements can be tricky. For me early in sobriety (under 6 months) I found social gatherings themselves were not an issue, but the day after was difficult. I'm not sure why...It was just my experience. Go to the party...if you find yourself uncomfortable leave...people who love you will understand. Wishing you all the best.
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Old 03-11-2009, 04:57 AM
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I agree with Bugs. Go to the party and if you find that you are not comfortable and have a craving to drink just leave and go back to where you are staying.
About 1 month in I had a similar situation with a dinner party and I was the only one not drinking. What it did for me was actually confirm to me that I could have just as good a time in that situation whether I drank or not,
I was just as funny, which isn't very funny, and just as charming, which isn't very chasrming, and just as smart, which isn't very smart, sober as I am when I am drinking.
You may sind the same thing and that will be a big day on your path.
If not, as I said you can always go back to your room.
Make sure you report back in and let us know how it went.
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Old 03-11-2009, 06:13 AM
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They sell beer at almost every gas station. You buy gas don't you?
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Old 03-11-2009, 06:24 AM
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Windy~ Not a really helpful comment actually
Thanks anyway though
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Old 03-11-2009, 11:37 AM
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Oops, sorry. I drink on occasion but I don't have problems with booze. I don't hang around people doing dope though. If you are uncomfortable with being around booze right now then definitely stay home.
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Old 03-11-2009, 01:11 PM
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I went through something similar last month when my Mom came to visit. She was on vacation and enjoys an occasional beer. She knows I quit drinking and I was doing a balancing act with me being okay and her being able to enjoy her beer or a glass of wine when we ate out. I decided to do it in a really controlled way and had my Mom buy one beer and drink that at my house and I was really surprised it didn't bother me. She was able to have beer in the fridge and I wasn't bothered. I spent a really long time worrying about it beforehand. I did empty an beer leftover after she left but it went well for me.

I agree with going and leaving if it gets too difficult. If you can is there someone that you trust that you could have a beer in front of you to see how you feel? I am sorry if that sounds like a bad idea.
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Old 03-11-2009, 05:41 PM
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I think windys point is that booze is everywhere - if you don't feel the urge at the gas station then in theory a party should be ok too.

but yeah - it takes a bit of time to get to that point tho - or it did for me.

I made it clear I wasn't drinking, and why, to everybody - it didn't make it foolproof but it made it easier.

I dunno if you've done that but have an escape plan - just in case...

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Old 03-11-2009, 06:04 PM
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We are only a key stroke away, ready to give you all the support you need.:ghug

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