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Newbie and addicted to codeine for 6 years

Old 06-18-2023, 10:08 AM
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Newbie and addicted to codeine for 6 years

Hello! Iím 34 years old and a professional. Iím also a functioning addict.
I take on average 30-45 cocodamol a day. Each with 500mg of paracetamol because they do not sell codeine without it over the counter.

I have a successful job, two beautiful children and a wonderful fiancť. Iím very lucky. Except Iíve been addicted to codeine ever since the doctor first prescribed them to me after my daughterís birth. It became a coping mechanism when I was in an abusive and controlling marriage. I have since left the marriage, divorced and bought a new house with my fiancť. Codeine is still controlling my life.

I want to stop it so badly, but it has become such a habit. All day all I can think about is where Iím going to buy them. I plan my whole day around finding a new pharmacy or faking a new illness as another person to get them from the doctors.

I have gone cold turkey before- it was the hardest two weeks of my life and I fell right back into it. The stomach pains, the shakes and the headaches from hell were all relieved from a few more tablets and Iím back to square one.

Iíve signed up to my local support group, but Iím still waiting to hear back from them- I know theyíre busy!

I also paid privately for a liver and kidney test- which came back fine- which is a miracle considering the amount of paracetamol I consume in a day.

My GP is now aware of my addiction, but only prescribes me 5 tablets a day. I take the whole weeks worth in 1.5 days.

When I run out, Iíll buy solphodine max and take 15 a time 2-3 times a day.

Iíve committed fraud and pretended to be family members to out of hours to get the tablets about 30 times. I know Iím an absolute shambles and I want to be free.

Iíve never met anyone with the same problem- or at least someone who is addicted to it as much as me and come out the other end. Iíve been very much alone and living in denial for a long time. I have a problem and I am an addict.

I donít think weaning off the tablets is an option for me- I cannot be trusted not to take the lot for that gentle relaxing high and to stop the horrendous withdrawal. I want to just stop but have something that can stop the withdrawal pains.





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Old 06-18-2023, 01:35 PM
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Hi and welcome honeybeebee

I’m glad you have your GP on board, and I’m glad there’s no liver or kidney damage.
You’re very lucky.

With that level of codeine per day maybe a supervised inpatient detox might be the way to go?

D
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Old 06-18-2023, 07:08 PM
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I have no money to pay for it. Is there a funded in-house detox?
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Old 06-18-2023, 07:16 PM
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I guess it depends on where you live.

I know you're not in Australia cos you need a script here for codeine based meds now.
Are you in the UK? Did your Dr suggest anything besides weaning?

D

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Old 06-18-2023, 07:58 PM
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I live in the UK. We are so strapped for any help with mental health and drugs.
No she did not. Iím waiting for the rehabilitation charity to get hold of me. They have a doctor so we will see if they can offer me something else.
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Old 06-18-2023, 08:25 PM
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Yeah I hear the NHS is pretty stretched.
I'm sorry I don't really have any other ideas apart from hoping the next doctor you see has some ideas.

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Old 08-09-2023, 03:37 PM
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honeybee - I can tell you that I know exactly what you are dealing with and the mental struggle and depression/embarrassment etc. you are experiencing because that was once me! i broke my back and was given pain killers for the pain. I took those and i would say within a couple months was addicted. Of course I didn't know that or surely wasn't ready to admit that for some time after that. Its when I started to run out early and realized that I could get what i needed to cover what i was short on the street that I began to question myself.....but still wasn't ready to admit that I had a problem. Like you I was a functioning addict and like you i planned my days, nights, life around getting what I needed. It truly sucks and I pray I never find myself in that situation again! Now that i gave you all the dread, i can tell you that there is light at the end of the tunnel! i am on the right road now, years late in my opinion but regardless i have changed direction. I did an inpatient detox program which worked for a few months but was miserable. Finally relapsed and found a dr. that prescribed Subutex (now on zubsolve). This took away all of the symptoms of withdrawal and helped me to see the world sober again. There is withdrawal coming off of the zubsolve as well but once you get rid of the mindset of addiction and realize that isn't where you want to go again, its easier to set your mind on beating this thing. This can be accomplished through tapering but would suggest doing this with a doctor directing. I pray that you overcome and just know that you can! Get involved with a faith based group if you believe that is real, and if not pray and ask Jesus Christ to reveal himself to you....and he will! All things are possible through Jesus Christ who strengthens me (Phil 4:13)
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Old 08-10-2023, 09:24 AM
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Hi Honeybee,
I, too, was addicted to pain medication (hydrocodone) from 2007-2012. My partner at the time had major back problems, and at that time, doctors in the US were writing seemingly unlimited amounts of pills to patients who had back problems, etc. I started initially as sneaking them from my partner, but eventually my partner was not only addicted to them but abusing them as well. I joined in. I romanced them for a LONG time until one day I realized I was addicted because I could not feel normal unless I had them.

My partner went to rehab in 2012 and has been clean ever since, and I got clean at the same time. It was 2 weeks of pure hell, as you said, but then it broke. Almost immediately after that the state I live in in the US got VERY strict about pain medications. My partner and I would have had no choice but to stop, but it is good that we did anyway.

I have needed pain medications for medical procedures but I always let them know that I was once addicted and ask for the bare minimum so that I cannot abuse them.

I understand that it is probably very difficult in the UK where codeine is accessible without a prescription.

You sound tired of the struggle and ready for something new and more. Thinking about you. Coming here is a good start. Keep posting and I'll post with you.
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Old 08-14-2023, 05:20 PM
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Best of luck HoneyBeeBee2! I hope you get some relief soon.
Og and Dee, you always have such sound and kind suggestions.

Really, HoneyBee, rooting for you!
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