MNGirlyGirl

Ig, you want to be beating yourself up tomorrow for a bottle of Boonesfarm? Man, think it all the way through. Play that tape all the way to the end... to the hangover, to the guilt, to the depression and anxiety. Play the tape all they way up to the part where you say to yourself, "why did I do that? It doesn't help".

Arura

Mornin Ig, hope your feeling abit better today. Things do go up n down just like a pair of knickers...hehehe, Hopefully you have ditched the bottle, throw it in the bin if you still got it. If not it will roll around in your head for as long as its in your car...!

Hopeing you are having a better day today Igfan...

Many Hugs Honi...

wiscgirl30

Hope you are having a better day... you are in my prayers...

igfan

still sober.......still have the bottle of boonesfarm. Right now i feel ok, like i made it through a rough patch and things will be ok. That's now though, could change like the weather. I have a counseling session this afternoon so i'll probably tell her about yesterday. I'm going away this weekend to Cape Cod to see.....who else but the Indigo Girls with 4 friends (3 of whom are in the program and have many years of sobriety) and then i'm on vacation. The fam & i are going camping in Vermont for a couple days and then relaxing around the house, so hopefully all of this stuff combined will help me get back on track. I need to get away from the people, places and things that are upsetting me and remember why i'm doing this. I had a terrible drinking dream last night, woke up relieved to know it was just that, a dream. Phew!

thanks y'all

PillPopper

"Things are okay now, could change like the weather" that says a lot. There will be storms to weather.... I don't have cravings and I am okay today, but what's tomorrow to bring and how will I deal with it? I was watching a re-run channel surfing (Celebrity Fit Club) and one celeb gave his definition of SOBER..."Son of a B*tch Everything's Real" This sure applied to me! If you make the right choices (like you are - seeing a counselor and there's nothing like a concert!) everything will work out. Get rid of that boonesfarm : )

Sobriety1st

Hey there igfan, seems as though you are having a hard time, sorry!! I know how hard it can be, but the bottle only makes it worse, but that is nothing you don't already know..I am so new into this, 66 days, so i really am careful with the advice or suggestions i offer, i like to learn from others that have truly worked the program of whatever 12 Step you decide..for me it is the 12 Steps of AA..but, you have to decide what is best for you..but you really need to get to some meetings, and work the program best for you..I really hope you have a great time in Cape Cod and then your vacation..just remember, you do not have to take that first drink just for today..the pain does lessen, actually it gets so much better, i never thought i would be able to say this, but I am having a blast being sober, no guilt, no shame, no remorse, learning to forgive, and most importantly, letting go of other people's crap..not takeing responsibility for them anymore because of my guilt..that i couldn't really say if i was responsible or not beings i was an active user, but today, i can say uh-huh, you clean up your own mess..i will clean up mine, but no more will i take the blame for anyone's actions but my own..i haven't read your posts, so i dont know where you are coming from or heading, but i have noticed that there are a lot of people here that care about you and want to see you have a great life, outside the bottle..take care, and keep posting, and i will go and read some of your posts, try to get an idea of where you are at..i just know that life is great sober..it just takes a minute to realize it , you can do it..best wishes to you..

Sobriety1st

BTW, Those user's dreams, can really kick you in the butt the reality of them, make you think you used, but the awesome thing about that, and the way you felt about it, that you were so glad you didn't drink, that is just testimony that in heart of all hearts you don't want to use, so, just for today, don't use

Luckyv2

Change is always changing and most of us don't like the changing part. Yet that is so much of life and living life on life's terms. The only thing that never changes is God, he is always there and always a loving God. I had to re-evalutate my conception of God in order to be happy. Life is good if we look through it with different glasses.

Love Vic

PS Glad that you are back!

Five

Talking about it does help.

Sugasnaps

**{Igfan}} I love the Indigo girls! Stay sober so you can remember them later on. I'm sure sorry you are going through a rough spot. Those do suck... big time. But they DO pass. The longer you stay sober the closer to fine you become. Remember you when you were miserable and drunk - don't go back there - you n' I know it is an ugly dark place to be. Hang in there.

MNGirlyGirl

I love it! Let me guess, it was Gary Busey, right?!!!

Ig, way to hang in there. This too shall pass.

PillPopper

YES! And I loved it too.... oh so true!!!

TexasDawn

Glad to hear you are doing better.

Those dreams about drinking can be scary when you first wake up! I've had several of them.

You did a good thing by coming here and posting when you felt really down!

sw-blue

After 4 weeks on here, I never cease to be amazed at the replies. You are really an amazing bunch of people.

IFGAN, I am so pleased you never slipped, I'm sure that was very hard to do and took an awful lot of willpower, I have yet to stop, but I will. I take strength from people like you who go through those bad times but come out the other end, perhaps stronger, but not underestimating the task in hand at all.

Good luck and keep on with it, as we all know the alternatives are much, much worse ....

GreenTea

You are not alone, IG. Things just need to work their way out for a little bit. We're here for you!

Its darkest before the dawn, but the the sunrise is always worth the wait!

The storm rages its worst before things become calm and beautiful again.

You have to go through some turbulence before you find the clear air again.

You can do it!!!

2dayzmuse

Never give up! Don't ever give it the satisfaction of taking another one down. Get up and fight for all your worth!

c'est la vie

Good on you for not giving in. It would have fed the beast and made it a stronger enemy in the future.

igfan

well, i went to my counselor yesterday and she could immediately tell that something wasn't right with me so i told her what's been going on (forgot to mention the part about going to the store & buying boonesfarm though, oops). Anyway, alot of my problems lately stem from issues with my sponsor (i know, this seems to be an ongoing problem). Anyway, it's just really frustrating to call someone and know that they're not going to answer the phone, whether they're there or not. What's the point of having a sponsor? So, finally i told my sponsor what's been eating at me, and she just makes me feel like i'm being unreasonable, and i thought "well, maybe it is just me, after all this is all new to me", but after talking to my counselor yesterday she flat out told me to get a new sponsor, to find someone who can and will be there for me. Basically she says i'm just falling into the same old trap where i'm drawn to people who can't give me what i need and who basically abuse me emotionally and at the same time i feel some sort of loyalty to them even though they don't deserve it. So, here i am, i don't know what to do......nothing changes if everything stays the same, right? My counselor knows what she's talking about, she's been in the program for many, many years and is well respected, so i guess she's probably right.

I'm going away this afternoon with a few people in the program to see.........THE INDIGO GIRLS and maybe i'll mention it to them and get their feedback. BTW, did i mention i'm going to see THE INDIGO GIRLS?

Thanks Y'all!

c'est la vie

Have fun seeing the Indigo Girls!!!

I wish I could have a councelor who's been in the program for a long time. I know there are some people who've been in the program a long time, but to combine that with a degree and experience in the psychology field, that's primo.

I totally agree with her about getting a new sponsor. You've had problems since the beginning with this one. good luck

MNGirlyGirl

Have fun!! Let loose and get your yayas out!! Did you get rid of the Boonesfarm? Probably not good to have it laying around.
Have a great weekend!