Still here
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Northwoods of Wisconsin
Posts: 29
Still here
Hey everyone-
I am glad to see so many of you still here and achieving success!
I stopped drinking in May. I am trying to branch out and do other things to fill the void, but I have found that I am VERY introverted when I am not drinking. Other people wear me out when I'm sober. I am overwhelmed when I meet a lot of new people or have to engage in conversation more than three or four times in an hour.
Has anyone else dealt with something like this? It's not that I'm shy- I just feel physically drained by "normal" social interactions. It's easier to be alone, but I want to get over this so I can do some new things and make friends. Everyone should want friends, right?? I know that all I had before were drinking buddies- they no longer request my company! But- I hate to admit it- they were fun.
Ug- what a mess.
Thanks for being here- although I've been quiet, I'm still here- because of all of you!
I am glad to see so many of you still here and achieving success!
I stopped drinking in May. I am trying to branch out and do other things to fill the void, but I have found that I am VERY introverted when I am not drinking. Other people wear me out when I'm sober. I am overwhelmed when I meet a lot of new people or have to engage in conversation more than three or four times in an hour.
Has anyone else dealt with something like this? It's not that I'm shy- I just feel physically drained by "normal" social interactions. It's easier to be alone, but I want to get over this so I can do some new things and make friends. Everyone should want friends, right?? I know that all I had before were drinking buddies- they no longer request my company! But- I hate to admit it- they were fun.
Ug- what a mess.
Thanks for being here- although I've been quiet, I'm still here- because of all of you!
Peace begins with a smile
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 173
I can relate to the feeling of being drained. I think that we live our lives one way for so long, that just learning how to re-live sober can be a daunting task. Hang in there.. Keep talking about how you're feeling.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: The Big Woods
Posts: 521
Hi Kayte,
And again we relate. Hmmm, maybe it's something to do with these woodlands we inhabit...
I'm serious about that in a way, having found other sources of interest, in nature, in reading, writing, music... solitary pursuits that don't necessarily directly involve interaction with people. But we're supposed to want to be around people, and you're weird if you don't. So society says. Societal norms are in many ways pretty messed up, shallow, superficial, distorted, unnatural and unhealthy, too. So what to believe...who to trust...
I hear you about getting overwhelmed and worn down when in the company of others. It exhausts me like nothing else. Maybe that's in part because of the addiction, though I was like this before I started with drugs and I don't see that changing as I move away from them. But I'm supposed to want to engage with people...go out and DO something with people...so I try (not very hard, but I tried) and all I could think about was getting away again.
If you WANT to do different things and make new friends put yourself in a place where you can meet people and do different things. I hear you trying to convince yourself that is what you want. Perhaps defining for yourself quite what it is you're looking for would help. Not what you "should" want, but what you do want. What interests you? What motivates you? Whose company do you enjoy? Those are good places to start. Personally, I'm finding tremendous peace in solitude. I connect with many people through written word, exchanging ideas and experiences and thoughts through that medium, and the rest of the time I'm out doing things I enjoy, engaging in LIFE, in doing what is of interest to me. Not forcing the issue any more. I'm trying to go where I'm led, and in that, there's no shortage of places to go. Honest self-analysis reveals to us who we are, and we realize that we don't have to be someone or something else, other than ourselves. That's very freeing. There's peace and happiness and contentedness in that, so I'm finding.
Good to see you here Kayte!
And again we relate. Hmmm, maybe it's something to do with these woodlands we inhabit...
I'm serious about that in a way, having found other sources of interest, in nature, in reading, writing, music... solitary pursuits that don't necessarily directly involve interaction with people. But we're supposed to want to be around people, and you're weird if you don't. So society says. Societal norms are in many ways pretty messed up, shallow, superficial, distorted, unnatural and unhealthy, too. So what to believe...who to trust...
I hear you about getting overwhelmed and worn down when in the company of others. It exhausts me like nothing else. Maybe that's in part because of the addiction, though I was like this before I started with drugs and I don't see that changing as I move away from them. But I'm supposed to want to engage with people...go out and DO something with people...so I try (not very hard, but I tried) and all I could think about was getting away again.
If you WANT to do different things and make new friends put yourself in a place where you can meet people and do different things. I hear you trying to convince yourself that is what you want. Perhaps defining for yourself quite what it is you're looking for would help. Not what you "should" want, but what you do want. What interests you? What motivates you? Whose company do you enjoy? Those are good places to start. Personally, I'm finding tremendous peace in solitude. I connect with many people through written word, exchanging ideas and experiences and thoughts through that medium, and the rest of the time I'm out doing things I enjoy, engaging in LIFE, in doing what is of interest to me. Not forcing the issue any more. I'm trying to go where I'm led, and in that, there's no shortage of places to go. Honest self-analysis reveals to us who we are, and we realize that we don't have to be someone or something else, other than ourselves. That's very freeing. There's peace and happiness and contentedness in that, so I'm finding.
Good to see you here Kayte!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: fumbling towards ecstasy
Posts: 2,551
There is a book that might interest you - The Highly Sensitive Person, by Elaine Aaron.
I am an introvert and also highly sensitive, which is funny b/c I am so good with people and can act very outgoing. However, I have found that if I don't get my daily quiet time, my daily me-time, I get overwhelmed and out of balance.
Hope you find that helpful!
I am an introvert and also highly sensitive, which is funny b/c I am so good with people and can act very outgoing. However, I have found that if I don't get my daily quiet time, my daily me-time, I get overwhelmed and out of balance.
Hope you find that helpful!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Northwoods of Wisconsin
Posts: 29
Phinny-
WOW!! Thank you SO much! I googled that book and found a web site, forums, and links all relating to being highly sensitive...
My family taunts me about my "bionic" hearing and sense of smell-hmm- maybe just over-sensitive. There are so many other things that make sense after reading just a little...
Maybe alcohol dulled my senses enough to make social and environmental interactions tolerable??
I am definitely going to read the book this week.
Thanks again for taking the time to share your comments- I actually feel some hope for the future that I want.
WOW!! Thank you SO much! I googled that book and found a web site, forums, and links all relating to being highly sensitive...
My family taunts me about my "bionic" hearing and sense of smell-hmm- maybe just over-sensitive. There are so many other things that make sense after reading just a little...
Maybe alcohol dulled my senses enough to make social and environmental interactions tolerable??
I am definitely going to read the book this week.
Thanks again for taking the time to share your comments- I actually feel some hope for the future that I want.
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