youve all been great but I just cant do it.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: in the present moment
Posts: 2,060
yes, you CAN. With the help of others.
You are getting closer~~~~~
This is part of the path, beth. You are being brought to the realization that you cannot continue unaided. The next step:medical help. ER/rehab/meeting.
Listen to the universe as it speaks to you through your pain. This is not the life you were meant to live.
Start over.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: wherever my feet take me
Posts: 1,314
(((((Communcat))))) I love you you haave been here through all ny s***, but I give up. i have made the conscious decision to let the drugs win. the addiction is stronger than I am.
there is no way to start over, I never really started to begin with.
I have been begging for help but it all comes down to me, and I am a stubborn A****** and that one personality flw is probbly going to kill me.
FOR whatever it is worth i OK with that.
i made arrangements for the cat, and I am pretty much done.
PEACE TO YOU
i WISH YOU THE BEST IN LIFE
there is no way to start over, I never really started to begin with.
I have been begging for help but it all comes down to me, and I am a stubborn A****** and that one personality flw is probbly going to kill me.
FOR whatever it is worth i OK with that.
i made arrangements for the cat, and I am pretty much done.
PEACE TO YOU
i WISH YOU THE BEST IN LIFE
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: in the present moment
Posts: 2,060
(((((((((((((beth)))))))))))
You remind me sooooooooooo much of me!!!!!
I was literally DEAD from an overdose. I came back. (Here I am lol!!).
I'm glad you are D-O-N-E. I am raising red prayer flags to Quan Yin, Durga, ****, Mary and all of the mothers of the universe to comfort you right now and to carry you to the help you so much deserve.
PEACE back at you!
You remind me sooooooooooo much of me!!!!!
I was literally DEAD from an overdose. I came back. (Here I am lol!!).
I'm glad you are D-O-N-E. I am raising red prayer flags to Quan Yin, Durga, ****, Mary and all of the mothers of the universe to comfort you right now and to carry you to the help you so much deserve.
PEACE back at you!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Bristol, England
Posts: 3
You can keep going. I'm only on day two and like you, I'm facing many tough challenges. I'm trying hard to distance myself from the niggling little voice in my head. I found a meditation tape which is helping, the teacher telling me to listen to the sound my inner voice makes instead of listening to the words it speaks, things like 'you'll never be able to stop because your weak' all those negative thoughts that won't go away. I'm just trying to ignore them, because I know they are not good for me and that if I don't listen to the bad stuff the voice is saying eventually the thoughts will pass. I hope you will keep going.
JUST DO IT!!
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Here Or There
Posts: 7,612
I CAN'T
WE CAN
WE WILL DO IT!
EVERY WORD
IS WE
WE WE WE ALL THE WAY HOME
IS WE
WE WE WE ALL THE WAY HOME
You are right YOU CAN'T.....I CAN'T......NO ONE CAN ALONE.....
TIME to do what my signature says, Just For Today Beth WE never have to use again.
Love Vic
PS>>>>YOU are not making a conscious decision right now, you haven't been away from the dope long enough to even do that. YOU are caught in the grips of active addiction Beth. If you want to live, you need to do what we do. YOU have to start listen and acting on what we say or you will DIE!
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,514
Beth,
It does all come down to you and you've been offered some amazing help and support from people here, but none of us can do it for you. I have faith that will be able to do this.
It does all come down to you and you've been offered some amazing help and support from people here, but none of us can do it for you. I have faith that will be able to do this.
Trying to do the right thing.
Join Date: May 2006
Location: London
Posts: 4,345
Please dont listen to that voice thats telling you your not worth it because,
its liying to you.!YOU are Worth every bit of a real life.Just like the rest of
us.No matter what...! YOUR worth more than what a life on drugs will
give you..........sending you all my hope that you pull through this
difficult time....Bear with it.......
I lost my children to addiction, you can lose everything you care for.!
so please re think............
They now live with my mum 250miles away,and are very happy.
But every day I wake up and there not there.Its my fault and I have
to walk down the street with my head high...! or what else ?
done the curling up n diying thing...! Dont go there..
its liying to you.!YOU are Worth every bit of a real life.Just like the rest of
us.No matter what...! YOUR worth more than what a life on drugs will
give you..........sending you all my hope that you pull through this
difficult time....Bear with it.......
I lost my children to addiction, you can lose everything you care for.!
so please re think............
They now live with my mum 250miles away,and are very happy.
But every day I wake up and there not there.Its my fault and I have
to walk down the street with my head high...! or what else ?
done the curling up n diying thing...! Dont go there..
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: wherever my feet take me
Posts: 1,314
Vic hit the nail right on the head. If I want to live i will do this, but I dont! i have been done for so long holding on, but for what, so I can work to make someine else rich. ive done so many positive and exciting things in my life. if Ileft today i wouldnt feel like I missed anything. maybe the substances are clouding my thinking, but I am no better when I am sober. When I thnk of ending this permanently I feel free and at peace When i think about eading a normal life and having to work day after day I am miserable. If I save my life what am I really saving it for I just dont see it.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Anywhere,USA
Posts: 511
The Important Things in Life...
Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they were meant to be there, to serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson, or to help you figure out who you are or who you want to become.
You never know who these people may be - a roommate, a neighbor, a professor, a friend, a lover, or even a complete stranger - but when you lock eyes with them, you know at that very moment they will affect your life in some profound way.
Sometimes things happen to you that may seem horrible, painful, and unfair at first, but in reflection you find that without overcoming those obstacles you would have never realized your potential, strength, willpower, or heart.
Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness, and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of your soul. Without these small tests, whatever they may be, life would be like a smoothly paved straight flat road to nowhere. It would be safe and comfortable, but dull and utterly pointless.
The people you meet who affect your life, and the success and downfalls you experience, help to create who you are and who you become. Even the bad experiences can be learned from. In fact, they are sometimes the most important ones.
If someone loves you, give love back to them in whatever way you can, not only because they love you, but because in a way, they are teaching you to love and how to open your heart and eyes to things.
If someone hurts you, betrays you, or breaks your heart, forgive them, for they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious to whom you open your heart.
Make every day count. Appreciate every moment and take from those moments everything that you possibly can for you may never be able to experience it again. Talk to people that you have never talked to before, and listen to what they have to say.
Let yourself fall in love, break free, and set your sights high. Hold your head up because you have every right to. Tell yourself you are a great individual and believe in yourself, for if you don't believe in yourself, it will be hard for others to believe in you.
You can make anything you wish of your life. Create your own life and then go out and live it with absolutely no regrets.
And if you love someone tell them, for you never know what tomorrow may have in store.
Learn a lesson in life each day that you live!
Today is the tomorrow you were worried about yesterday.
Think About it? Was it worth it?
Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they were meant to be there, to serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson, or to help you figure out who you are or who you want to become.
You never know who these people may be - a roommate, a neighbor, a professor, a friend, a lover, or even a complete stranger - but when you lock eyes with them, you know at that very moment they will affect your life in some profound way.
Sometimes things happen to you that may seem horrible, painful, and unfair at first, but in reflection you find that without overcoming those obstacles you would have never realized your potential, strength, willpower, or heart.
Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness, and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of your soul. Without these small tests, whatever they may be, life would be like a smoothly paved straight flat road to nowhere. It would be safe and comfortable, but dull and utterly pointless.
The people you meet who affect your life, and the success and downfalls you experience, help to create who you are and who you become. Even the bad experiences can be learned from. In fact, they are sometimes the most important ones.
If someone loves you, give love back to them in whatever way you can, not only because they love you, but because in a way, they are teaching you to love and how to open your heart and eyes to things.
If someone hurts you, betrays you, or breaks your heart, forgive them, for they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious to whom you open your heart.
Make every day count. Appreciate every moment and take from those moments everything that you possibly can for you may never be able to experience it again. Talk to people that you have never talked to before, and listen to what they have to say.
Let yourself fall in love, break free, and set your sights high. Hold your head up because you have every right to. Tell yourself you are a great individual and believe in yourself, for if you don't believe in yourself, it will be hard for others to believe in you.
You can make anything you wish of your life. Create your own life and then go out and live it with absolutely no regrets.
And if you love someone tell them, for you never know what tomorrow may have in store.
Learn a lesson in life each day that you live!
Today is the tomorrow you were worried about yesterday.
Think About it? Was it worth it?
Member
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Anywhere,USA
Posts: 511
Because...things have a way of changing...it may not seem like it right now, but this too shall pass...
Call a suicide hotline or go to your local ER.
You're worth it-really!
http://suicidehotlines.com/
This page is a link to phone numbers...
Call a suicide hotline or go to your local ER.
You're worth it-really!
http://suicidehotlines.com/
This page is a link to phone numbers...
On a tear
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Volcano Country!
Posts: 3,221
Originally Posted by bfree4u
... If I save my life what am I really saving it for I just dont see it.
It is my thought that I may not find out the true purpose of why I am here until I am not.
At that point, I hope I do not feel shame for wasting a life that was intended as a gift. Because -
... a lot of what I used to think were good and noble acts, when I look back are not so much good and noble, but selfish. At the time, though, I thought they were the right thing.
I have changed over time.
Is it so illogical to believe you also will change over time? If you can admit that you might be wrong, then give it time. Life works out sometimes.
Munkyface
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Naugatuck,CT
Posts: 18
Today I found this site, this is the first thread I have read. I wish you all of the strength and courage to pull yourself out of this funk. Remember there are many of us who struggle daily with this evil thing called addiction and tomorrow IS another day......wait for it, you may the one who helps me or someone i love.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Recovery
Posts: 3,229
Beth,
Your mind is clouded by the drugs right now and would take a while for that clouded thinking to clear after you quit. You say that you feel no better when you are sober but you haven't been sober long enough to actually be able to have the foggy thinking lifted. Give it a chance...don't knock it before you have really given it all you have. If you don't have the willingness then just try your hardest with everything in you to get willing to be willing. You have to have willingness and a DESIRE otherwise it won't work. You have to be the one to take action...it is easy to talk the talk but much more difficult to walk the walk.
This isn't a game...addiction is very serious and DEADLY. You will die at the hand of this disease. Sadly, people die everyday without ever seeking a better way of life. Don't be one of those people Beth. See how loved you are here? WE care. You can't do it alone...... to get sober you are going to have to do things that you don't want to do.
Your life is worth saving.... please don't give up.
Your mind is clouded by the drugs right now and would take a while for that clouded thinking to clear after you quit. You say that you feel no better when you are sober but you haven't been sober long enough to actually be able to have the foggy thinking lifted. Give it a chance...don't knock it before you have really given it all you have. If you don't have the willingness then just try your hardest with everything in you to get willing to be willing. You have to have willingness and a DESIRE otherwise it won't work. You have to be the one to take action...it is easy to talk the talk but much more difficult to walk the walk.
This isn't a game...addiction is very serious and DEADLY. You will die at the hand of this disease. Sadly, people die everyday without ever seeking a better way of life. Don't be one of those people Beth. See how loved you are here? WE care. You can't do it alone...... to get sober you are going to have to do things that you don't want to do.
Your life is worth saving.... please don't give up.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 491
Originally Posted by bfree4u
Vic hit the nail right on the head. If I want to live i will do this, but I dont! i have been done for so long holding on, but for what, so I can work to make someine else rich. ive done so many positive and exciting things in my life. if Ileft today i wouldnt feel like I missed anything. maybe the substances are clouding my thinking, but I am no better when I am sober. When I thnk of ending this permanently I feel free and at peace When i think about eading a normal life and having to work day after day I am miserable. If I save my life what am I really saving it for I just dont see it.
Pardon me for being so blunt but this is BS and is a complete cop-out! Quit making excuses! There is NO good excuse for living the life that you are living!!!!! I accept no excuses from you! Get help and get it NOW!!!!!!!!!! I am going crazy down here this morning worrying about you!!! I am going nuts becasue I CAN'T do anything, only you can!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!
Resentment Building
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Sydney, NSW, Australia
Posts: 174
I am praying to my higher power and to the collectivehigher powers to help YOU to HELP YOURSELF.
You are better than this - and we all care about you - and feel your pain.
Don't hurt yourself - please.
You are better than this - and we all care about you - and feel your pain.
Don't hurt yourself - please.
Living and Loving.
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Saratoga, California
Posts: 475
Bfree4U
Oh hon... I wish you would just surrender to your addiction. By that I mean admit it won the war and surrender. Stop fighting the war and accept that it has complete and total control over you if you let it into your body. The only time you have any control is before you put that substance inside your body. That is the only time cuz once you let it in it wins. I know down to my toes how hard this feels but please just surrender the war and stop fighting it. Just admit to it's power over you and stop trying to fight it and stop letting it inside you. It truly is poison. It sucks your self worth and lies to you that you cannot stop using it. You really can. Throw yourself to the ground and ask whatever higher power you know... or just ask for one... and give yourself over to accepting help. You are worth living. You are one of the most beautiful unique creations with whom the universe is well pleased. If you seek it out... it's energy can enter you and carry you into your recovery but without the most key ingredient - your willingness and openness - your struggle will continue.
You can recover. Everyone who has come before you knows this from the depths of their souls. Everyone who has risen as you can... sees your future as it could be. Believe in it and go there.
We are all here for you. Each and every one of us. Now you just need to be there for you even though you feel like you don't deserve it. You do.
Much love,
Suga
Oh hon... I wish you would just surrender to your addiction. By that I mean admit it won the war and surrender. Stop fighting the war and accept that it has complete and total control over you if you let it into your body. The only time you have any control is before you put that substance inside your body. That is the only time cuz once you let it in it wins. I know down to my toes how hard this feels but please just surrender the war and stop fighting it. Just admit to it's power over you and stop trying to fight it and stop letting it inside you. It truly is poison. It sucks your self worth and lies to you that you cannot stop using it. You really can. Throw yourself to the ground and ask whatever higher power you know... or just ask for one... and give yourself over to accepting help. You are worth living. You are one of the most beautiful unique creations with whom the universe is well pleased. If you seek it out... it's energy can enter you and carry you into your recovery but without the most key ingredient - your willingness and openness - your struggle will continue.
You can recover. Everyone who has come before you knows this from the depths of their souls. Everyone who has risen as you can... sees your future as it could be. Believe in it and go there.
We are all here for you. Each and every one of us. Now you just need to be there for you even though you feel like you don't deserve it. You do.
Much love,
Suga
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