Oh the anger......
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Livonia, MI
Posts: 675
Originally Posted by Irish Virus
Earlybird:
I read some of your earlier threads that you started to see if there was
any history to the resentment between your bro and yourself. I came across this one in which your mother evidently paints you as a time bomb
to your bros who is ready to kill the whole family. Now of course I do not know your family history, but there seemed to be a lot of friction not so long ago.
" told your brothers that if anything ever happens to your Father and I,....tell the police to look closely at Erik" ............. But she must understand that if my brothers are silly enough to believe this,...it could RUIN my relationship with them. I mean lets be honest here and come right out and say what she was incinuating,....she wants my brothers to believe that she really thinks that I may murder them."
In your own words you state that this could ruin your relationship with your brothers. Could it stand to reason that your mother also advised your brother to keep Erik away from his own neice for fear of what you might do.
It doesn't sound too far fetched to me that your mom and brothers view you as a loose canon whether you are sober or not. If your brother believed you were capable of murder, he sure could believe that you are capable of doing something hideous with his own daughter as well. Maybe he is just trying to protect his daughter because he doesn't believe your are right in the head yet. It doesn't make it right, it's just the way I see the situation.
Good luck.
I read some of your earlier threads that you started to see if there was
any history to the resentment between your bro and yourself. I came across this one in which your mother evidently paints you as a time bomb
to your bros who is ready to kill the whole family. Now of course I do not know your family history, but there seemed to be a lot of friction not so long ago.
" told your brothers that if anything ever happens to your Father and I,....tell the police to look closely at Erik" ............. But she must understand that if my brothers are silly enough to believe this,...it could RUIN my relationship with them. I mean lets be honest here and come right out and say what she was incinuating,....she wants my brothers to believe that she really thinks that I may murder them."
In your own words you state that this could ruin your relationship with your brothers. Could it stand to reason that your mother also advised your brother to keep Erik away from his own neice for fear of what you might do.
It doesn't sound too far fetched to me that your mom and brothers view you as a loose canon whether you are sober or not. If your brother believed you were capable of murder, he sure could believe that you are capable of doing something hideous with his own daughter as well. Maybe he is just trying to protect his daughter because he doesn't believe your are right in the head yet. It doesn't make it right, it's just the way I see the situation.
Good luck.
Well in order for what you are saying to be true,...my mom would have to be lying to me, plain and simple. I would have to believe that my Mom, has been conspiring this fiendish plot to get my brother to hate me,...all the while playing "double-agent",....keeping both sides' anger at "critical mass" level. I dunno. I dont know if I believe that. If its true.....its like ....OH....MY....GOD. How do I react to THAT?? But,...Irish,....Im not discounting your words. There may be something to that. Thanks,...you opened my eyes a bit. Thanks, love, your a peach.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Livonia, MI
Posts: 675
Originally Posted by nogard
hey earlybird,
how are you going? Would be good to hear from you.
Kevin
how are you going? Would be good to hear from you.
Kevin
Oh,...Hello, nogard....
Im good today,...thanks for asking. Started a new position at work today. I feel pretty good lately
u?
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: The Big Woods
Posts: 521
It's not so much a "conspiracy plot" that your mom may (or may not) be engaged in, as it is typical family dynamics. My mom, and other members of my family play such gossipy games, thinking they're just stoking a little fire for the (sick) entertainment of watching it smolder and sometimes light up and burn, when really they're throwing gasoline on an already explosive blaze. But they don't see what they're doing, standing safely at a distance, isolated and insulated because they're family. As though that grants special rights.
Your mom might be oblivous to what she's doing.
Your mom might be oblivous to what she's doing.
Om, Aum, Ohm...
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Punxsutawney/Pittsburgh
Posts: 4,797
There are some folks who will never accept that we've changed. Very often, they're so judgemental and rigid-minded that to think anything differently about us would be to betray their own sense of smugness. Others, we've hurt so terribly that their wounds will not heal, regardless of the amends we make to them. I have some of those folks in my life. Though it doesn't bother me to detach from someone miserable by nature, in a couple of instances, there are spouses or children that I would like to have as part of my life. I can't change the miserable cusses, so I have to accept that if I am meant to have a part in their lives, that way will be revealed to me.
What sucks, to me, is that it seems you and your brother - along with your neice - are tossed together in family situations. I'm trying to imagine you sitting stock still while a two-year-old plays at your feet. Have you talked directly with your brother about this? Cut out the middle-man - or woman (your mother) and go to the source?
And...I don't remember your point in sobriety. Have you made it to the 8th step? Have you made any amends to your brother for your part in the relationship? Situations like this are opportunities to practice the principles.
The answers are in the serenity prayer. I'll add my prayers to your own.
Peace & Love,
Sugah
What sucks, to me, is that it seems you and your brother - along with your neice - are tossed together in family situations. I'm trying to imagine you sitting stock still while a two-year-old plays at your feet. Have you talked directly with your brother about this? Cut out the middle-man - or woman (your mother) and go to the source?
And...I don't remember your point in sobriety. Have you made it to the 8th step? Have you made any amends to your brother for your part in the relationship? Situations like this are opportunities to practice the principles.
The answers are in the serenity prayer. I'll add my prayers to your own.
Peace & Love,
Sugah
NA Rocks!
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Location Location
Posts: 517
Wow! The Lord works in mysterious ways. Earlybird, I am so grateful to you and the members who've responded to this thread, as I'm going through the EXACT same experience with my SIL. My brother passed away almost three years ago, but he left us with a beautiful nephew who's now five years old. They were in the midst of a divorce when he died. My parents and I put those circumstances aside, knowing that it takes two, as they say, and what was important now is keeping a relationship with her and my nephew, and keeping his memories of daddy alive.
About seven months into my recovery (I just celebrated one year) I get this email from SIL out of the blue, telling me she's so angry with me and just can't stand to be around me, that she just wants to part ways and wants me to leave her and my nephew alone. Her email listed certain situations in the past few years that were absolutely bizarre! Like not returning a phone call in a timely manner, and on and on. So much would have been cleared up, or I'd have gladly owned my part in it, if she'd only give me a chance. I responded to her letter about a month later (I needed to bring it to my sponsor and pray on it) and even though she'd written in the letter that it was too late and she didn't need me to respond, she was mad that I didn't respond earlier.
I told her I was so sorry she was so upset with me and that I'd hurt her so deeply. I talked about my new life in recovery, that I was working very hard and that I'm not at the step yet to make a proper amends, but I'd like to stay in touch and asked her to give me the chance to apologize for the past when the time was right. She said she didn't want to have to work hard or put any effort into a relationship that she doesn't want in the first place. It hurts, man. It hurts bad. I adore my nephew. I love him very, very much. He's a part of my brother. Apparently I wasn't showing my love for him in a way that would meet her expectations, but I've since learned in NA that "Expectations are premeditated resentments". I've learned that her problems with me are all about her, not me. She's had numerous surgeries throughout the years, so I wouldn't be surprised if addiction may be playing a part in all this, but setting that aside, it hurts nonetheless.
I didn't mean to hijack your thread here, EB. I just wanted to thank you for sharing your experience, because I am able to apply all these responses to MY situation as well. I wish you all the best with this problem with your brother and mother, and I hope to help in some way, if I can. Thanks for keeping this thread rollin', everyone!
Kelly (T4C)
About seven months into my recovery (I just celebrated one year) I get this email from SIL out of the blue, telling me she's so angry with me and just can't stand to be around me, that she just wants to part ways and wants me to leave her and my nephew alone. Her email listed certain situations in the past few years that were absolutely bizarre! Like not returning a phone call in a timely manner, and on and on. So much would have been cleared up, or I'd have gladly owned my part in it, if she'd only give me a chance. I responded to her letter about a month later (I needed to bring it to my sponsor and pray on it) and even though she'd written in the letter that it was too late and she didn't need me to respond, she was mad that I didn't respond earlier.
I told her I was so sorry she was so upset with me and that I'd hurt her so deeply. I talked about my new life in recovery, that I was working very hard and that I'm not at the step yet to make a proper amends, but I'd like to stay in touch and asked her to give me the chance to apologize for the past when the time was right. She said she didn't want to have to work hard or put any effort into a relationship that she doesn't want in the first place. It hurts, man. It hurts bad. I adore my nephew. I love him very, very much. He's a part of my brother. Apparently I wasn't showing my love for him in a way that would meet her expectations, but I've since learned in NA that "Expectations are premeditated resentments". I've learned that her problems with me are all about her, not me. She's had numerous surgeries throughout the years, so I wouldn't be surprised if addiction may be playing a part in all this, but setting that aside, it hurts nonetheless.I didn't mean to hijack your thread here, EB. I just wanted to thank you for sharing your experience, because I am able to apply all these responses to MY situation as well. I wish you all the best with this problem with your brother and mother, and I hope to help in some way, if I can. Thanks for keeping this thread rollin', everyone!
Kelly (T4C)
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Livonia, MI
Posts: 675
Originally Posted by Etimee
LOL, I think it means one or any of the following:
true
I agree
you said it
yep
power to ya
I know what you mean
you got that right
Am I right earlybird?
:-)
Etimee
true
I agree
you said it
yep
power to ya
I know what you mean
you got that right
Am I right earlybird?
:-)
Etimee
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: The Big Woods
Posts: 521
Originally Posted by earlybird
Fo' Shizzle
Word: 2) verbal expression. 6) news; information.
...so you know, what tripped me up about "word" was def. 2c) contentious or angry speech, a quarrel.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 305
No, you don't have to get out more, you can learn it all right here, lol!
It's izzle talk!
Here are some excerpts from an article on the izzle talk to help you understand....
Etimizzle ;-)
It's izzle talk!
Here are some excerpts from an article on the izzle talk to help you understand....
For those of you unfamiliar what the dizzle with the rizzle is, it is a phenomenon that stems from rapper Snoop Dogg.
You need look no further than MTV and his show titled "Doggy Fizzle Televizzle" for a dose of the izzle-talk
I've asked around about the izzle, and there seem to be several methods for deciphering the code. The most popular is simply taking the first letter or sound of a word and ending it with izzle. For example "bizzle" could be anything from "basket" to "business."
Another take on Snoop-talk is to add the izzle on the last part of a word. Here "basket" would be "baskizzle" while "business" is "biznizzle."
I'm gonna stick to the old-fashioned ways of saying things.
So I guess I'll talk, not tizzle.
I'll drive and not drizzle.
And if that means my finger is no longer on the pulse of cool, so be it. It was probably way off anyway. I'll just keep it simple.
For shizzle.
You need look no further than MTV and his show titled "Doggy Fizzle Televizzle" for a dose of the izzle-talk
I've asked around about the izzle, and there seem to be several methods for deciphering the code. The most popular is simply taking the first letter or sound of a word and ending it with izzle. For example "bizzle" could be anything from "basket" to "business."
Another take on Snoop-talk is to add the izzle on the last part of a word. Here "basket" would be "baskizzle" while "business" is "biznizzle."
I'm gonna stick to the old-fashioned ways of saying things.
So I guess I'll talk, not tizzle.
I'll drive and not drizzle.
And if that means my finger is no longer on the pulse of cool, so be it. It was probably way off anyway. I'll just keep it simple.
For shizzle.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: The Big Woods
Posts: 521
(((Etimizzle)))
Brain explizzle.
It's like some modern-day piglatin. Which I never mastered either. I'm so unhip. But now in the know. Decidedly avoiding pop culture and TV, sticking with obscure music and nature, where the terms of the game make sense...in their own abstract way.
peazizille
Brain explizzle.
It's like some modern-day piglatin. Which I never mastered either. I'm so unhip. But now in the know. Decidedly avoiding pop culture and TV, sticking with obscure music and nature, where the terms of the game make sense...in their own abstract way. peazizille
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: The Big Woods
Posts: 521
Originally Posted by earlybird
lol....
but this one leaves me clueless. And wondering seriously why you're not talking. respectfully...
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
