MartinM

Help me I want to quit drinking, but I can't seem to do it. I just keep drinking more and more as the summer goes by every year, by fall I am raging. I don't like being so powerless over this, and having no control, not even to say no anymore. I am tired of sneaking and lying about it, and being sick. I am tired of crying about it "I don't want to drink anymore", just tired of having absolutely no control over it, none.
I have quit smoking, quit eating meat, quit other bad habits, but I can't seem to quit alchohol. It's not even fun to me at all. I don't know why I keep doing it. After so many days, I just feel like I have to.
I can't even seem to get myself to a meeting.

Kickit

Hi Martin
I was the same, I have had a problem for many years, at least 15. During that time I have lost relationships because of my dreadful behaviour, lost self respect and motivation to acheive in life. I too said soooo many times 'I want to stop', tried for short periods, tried counselling, online courses, books, books and books but I didn't stop. I just lied more and drank more. What I REALLY wanted was to be able to drink 'normally', I tried this many times, as do many people like me! I have finally accepted that I CANNOT control my drinking and went to a AA meeting last Saturday. This followed a particularly horrible event with my partner's family - who will probably never speak to me again- and an honest appraisal of where I am heading and what drink has done to me and those I love.

However..... it got me to AA, it FINALLY made me realise that the only way I am going is down, down and down, because there is an even rockier bottom than the one I have hit. It also made me and my partner talk properly and I am really lucky to have his support. The support I have had already from others in AA is fantastic. I think I just could not take anymore and I want to change , for me 1st. So far, so good.

Go to the next AA meeting in your area, you don't have to do anything you don't want to, or are not ready for. Just go and see that you ARE NOT ALONE. Get help and turn your life around. You have already taken the 1st step by coming to SR.

As I said early days for me and I know that I need to watch out - I haven't wanted to drink in the last week, but that won't last! But I will pick up the phone and call my new AA buddies before picking up a glass and I will work hard to stay sober, because I am starting to realise that I am worth it!

Big hugs, keep posting and you will get loads of advice from people (much more qualified than me!). It really helps.

aloneagainor

Welcome Martin. It's good you're reaching out asking for help. No-one can save you, YOU have to want that for yourself. Change occurs when you decide you want to make a change, you've done it before, you know how it works in you. Recognizing your powerlessness is a powerful realization. You do have power to change, but your addiction has a lot of influence over your thinking. Allowing outside perspective in, and openly, willingly, honestly considering it, allows change to begin. But protecting your use through lies and avoidance and sneaking around only fosters the addiction to continue inside your head. Looking at it from an outside perspective, allowing insight to enter in, you can begin to see alternatives to that otherwise dark and isolated conviction that you have no choice, no control. You do have opportunity to regain control. Please invest yourself in reading and talking with others, be open to hearing what others have to say. There is help out there surrounding you, if you reach out to receive it. But no-one can save you from yourself.

Sugah

"We admitted we were powerless over alcohol, that our lives had become unmanageable."

That's the first step of AA. It's the common thread that holds us all together and we've all felt like you. By 'taking' that step, I found freedom from alcohol. So have millions of others. It's there, free, and open to everyone who wants to stop drinking.

Peace & Love,
Sugah

leviathon

Hi Martin and welcome.

When I quit or began my process of quiting I went through what you are going through. The only thing that worked to make the initial break was to check into a detox place for five days. Then I attended a lot of meetings and now I do my own thing. It is a process. It takes commitment by you, to you. No one can save you. We can only offer our Experience Strength and Hope (ES&H). You have to make the decision and you have to act on your decision.

It will get easier with time. Is there a detox place you can go to where you are at? In Canada they are free. You stay for five days and then are released. While there they hook you up with resources and self help tools. They will also set you up for long term treatment, subject to availability, and help you make the connections if you are willing to go that route. I was not. There are options, you have to be willing to pursue them.

Peace and good luck, Levi

CarolD

Congratulations for seeking answers to your drinking.
Alcoholism is a disease and it is progressive.
I suggest you get more factual info

My favorite book on alcoholism is
"Under The Influence"
and it has a sequel..."Beyond The Influence"

Both can be ordered from Amazon...

Glad to see a new member...we do understand and you are not alone.

Blessings...

earlybird

Just remember,......being truely ready to quit, means asking someone with sobriety how they did it,......listening to his or her suggestion, and immediatly going out and trying it without questioning it or analyzing it. You MUST be willing to do whatever it takes. Regardless. If someone told me to get sober, I had to smear vegetable shortening all over my body and sing "Its raining men" in Time Square while holding an armadillo wearing chaps,.....Id do it. Id question it later,.....but Id do it right away. Thank God that isnt what it takes.