Anna

Glad to see you're still hanging in there and the intense urges will become fewer and fewer as time goes by!

aloneagainor

Oh, in an INSTANT it can get you...swift, cunning, powerful. I think so long as we continue to believe we have power over it, it continues to hold power over us. RECOGNIZE this. How discouraging it is to go all day with conviction that you're done with it, only to cave at first temptation, first thought of it that enters your mind. Ten thousand excuses are lined up just waiting their turn to be used. Until you learn defences against them you're nearly defenceless, stumbling blind.

Taking action is key. You've established familiar retreat patterns over the years. Break the habit, the routine. Instead engage your time, body, mind, and spirit into alternatives that will help you recover. It's a VERY deliberate process, I'm finding. You have to WANT to be well. Seek out healthy activitites for your body, invest your mind in learning tools and techniques that will help you see your addiction for what it is (reading/ connecting with other recovering addicts/ writing here to express your thinking), and engage yourself in spiritual awareness...to find some grounding for yourself on which to stand, so to be able to stand against your addiction. These are huge proposals, I realize. This is a huge deal you're undertaking. Whole mindset change. But change in a POSITIVE direction, to be sure. Keep on.

BSPGirl

Try to keep in mind that urges might be unpleasant when you don't give in but NOT unbearable.

J-Petrucci

thank you

on day 3 feeling good, no big urges yet. i am taking all this advice.