Im Soo Scared
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: ohio
Posts: 39
Hi Jill,
I Feel your pain. However, we cant do this for you. The resources are out there. We can be here for answers and encouragement, but are help is limited. I guess all I can say to you is this. Where are you today? Why are you here? Fact is your here because of drinking and you may very well have a problem. If you do and you want help AA would be a great start for you. NO Shame!! Just Go!! and understand with over 2 million members you can do it too. But you gots to start. Your not losing anything with stopping drinkin, but If you continue drinking Your losing LIFE. Do yourself a favor and Go, Learn and Live. Your gonna be amazed at the love and support you can find. Goodluck and God Bless
I Feel your pain. However, we cant do this for you. The resources are out there. We can be here for answers and encouragement, but are help is limited. I guess all I can say to you is this. Where are you today? Why are you here? Fact is your here because of drinking and you may very well have a problem. If you do and you want help AA would be a great start for you. NO Shame!! Just Go!! and understand with over 2 million members you can do it too. But you gots to start. Your not losing anything with stopping drinkin, but If you continue drinking Your losing LIFE. Do yourself a favor and Go, Learn and Live. Your gonna be amazed at the love and support you can find. Goodluck and God Bless
Member
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Somwhere over the rainbow
Posts: 1,175
ya know, antidepressants will not work when mixed with alcohol, so your intent in taking them, to control depression and feel better, really is wasted. You will experience a period of discomfort following your stopping drinking. That will pass. You have to go through it, we all did. Then the anti depressants will start to work and you will begin to feel better.
As for no enjoyment in life, you need to start doing things for yourself. Your partner sounds devoted and caring, but you need to care for yourself too.
Go for a walk, talk to a counsellor, priest or whatever your religious guy/gal is called, go to AA, call the crisis line in your area... YOU NEED TO DO THIS... quit putting it on us and on your partner. Everyone here is offering suggestions to help, you are choosing not to see those suggestions. You are in DENIAL.
A further point, this is just my opinion, the fact that you are using this site while consuming, I find that disrespectful to us. Make a commitment to yourself and to us, use this site when sober.
Levi
As for no enjoyment in life, you need to start doing things for yourself. Your partner sounds devoted and caring, but you need to care for yourself too.
Go for a walk, talk to a counsellor, priest or whatever your religious guy/gal is called, go to AA, call the crisis line in your area... YOU NEED TO DO THIS... quit putting it on us and on your partner. Everyone here is offering suggestions to help, you are choosing not to see those suggestions. You are in DENIAL.
A further point, this is just my opinion, the fact that you are using this site while consuming, I find that disrespectful to us. Make a commitment to yourself and to us, use this site when sober.
Levi
Member
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Livonia, MI
Posts: 675
great stuff, Phil!!
We have something we say in AA alot. I think mostly, its out of being politically correct,....polite perhaps....
That saying is "No one can tell you that you are an alcoholic, only YOU can decide that"
Thats all well and good, but, the 'only you deciding that' part is really the only totally true part of that. The DECIDING part. Not deciding usually just means you are in denial. I think recovering alcoholics can tell when others are alcoholic. Who better? What I am saying is that you, in my opinion, are an alcoholic. Pretty bad one too. Like me. So first you need to quit dancing around the "I may have a problem" routine. You say you may have a problem,...then in the next post, you say that you have now established that you DO have a problem,...THEN,..you again say that you MAY have a problem,.....I think you just want to go through the recovery door,....but still want to keep a foot sticking in the addiction door 'just in case'. You are afraid to let it close all the way. They only reason you are scared of NOT drinking is that you have been doing it so long. Thats all. Not because it benefits you at all. Its killing you. If alcholism was a person you'd want to kill him or her. But its a disease. And in THAT form, it has the power to hurt you and have you turn around and worship it. Thank you sir, may I have another? Dont give in. Be an asset,...not a liability.
We have something we say in AA alot. I think mostly, its out of being politically correct,....polite perhaps....
That saying is "No one can tell you that you are an alcoholic, only YOU can decide that"
Thats all well and good, but, the 'only you deciding that' part is really the only totally true part of that. The DECIDING part. Not deciding usually just means you are in denial. I think recovering alcoholics can tell when others are alcoholic. Who better? What I am saying is that you, in my opinion, are an alcoholic. Pretty bad one too. Like me. So first you need to quit dancing around the "I may have a problem" routine. You say you may have a problem,...then in the next post, you say that you have now established that you DO have a problem,...THEN,..you again say that you MAY have a problem,.....I think you just want to go through the recovery door,....but still want to keep a foot sticking in the addiction door 'just in case'. You are afraid to let it close all the way. They only reason you are scared of NOT drinking is that you have been doing it so long. Thats all. Not because it benefits you at all. Its killing you. If alcholism was a person you'd want to kill him or her. But its a disease. And in THAT form, it has the power to hurt you and have you turn around and worship it. Thank you sir, may I have another? Dont give in. Be an asset,...not a liability.
In Recovery
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Upper Midwest
Posts: 259
Jill,
A few thoughts.
First, if you are going to quit for your partner, then you may as well just keep drinking. That may sound harsh, but I mean it in a gentle way...if you do it for him/her, then you will only quit, only go to meetings, only read books, etc...until your partner quits nagging, gets off your a**, or whatever other expectation you have of that person. If your partner doesn't react to your newfound recovery with overwhelming enthusiasm, you may just think that quitting/going to AA has been for naught, and go back to killing yourself with slow suicide as you have been doing.
I read your original post, and hopefully gave you something you could use. Something I've discovered for myself is that Action Cures Fear...it really does. Even if you can't get a hold of someone (please do try to call...it won't be as scary as you may think)...journal...write down your feelings...dump out ALL your cans & bottles...DO something.
You can go to a meeting and Say NOTHING if you want...sit by the door...leave your purse at home...my group was very good about making sure that I didn't have to say "I'm an alcoholic" until I was certain I was ready to. But, after you've been to a few meetings, you may start to discover a certain "sparkle" in the eyes and in the air of some of those folks...that's the attraction...pay attention to those people you connect with.
And, BTW, you can also strongly encourage your partner to attend an Al-anon meeting...it may be very good for your relationship....sometimes a group will hold both meetings at the same time in different rooms.
Give it a try!
We Love Unconditionally here...I know that's probably hard to believe, especially if you come from a place where you've never known that...but it's true!
Kari
"I'll See It When I Believe It" --KLB
A few thoughts.
First, if you are going to quit for your partner, then you may as well just keep drinking. That may sound harsh, but I mean it in a gentle way...if you do it for him/her, then you will only quit, only go to meetings, only read books, etc...until your partner quits nagging, gets off your a**, or whatever other expectation you have of that person. If your partner doesn't react to your newfound recovery with overwhelming enthusiasm, you may just think that quitting/going to AA has been for naught, and go back to killing yourself with slow suicide as you have been doing.
I read your original post, and hopefully gave you something you could use. Something I've discovered for myself is that Action Cures Fear...it really does. Even if you can't get a hold of someone (please do try to call...it won't be as scary as you may think)...journal...write down your feelings...dump out ALL your cans & bottles...DO something.
You can go to a meeting and Say NOTHING if you want...sit by the door...leave your purse at home...my group was very good about making sure that I didn't have to say "I'm an alcoholic" until I was certain I was ready to. But, after you've been to a few meetings, you may start to discover a certain "sparkle" in the eyes and in the air of some of those folks...that's the attraction...pay attention to those people you connect with.
And, BTW, you can also strongly encourage your partner to attend an Al-anon meeting...it may be very good for your relationship....sometimes a group will hold both meetings at the same time in different rooms.
Give it a try!
We Love Unconditionally here...I know that's probably hard to believe, especially if you come from a place where you've never known that...but it's true!
Kari
"I'll See It When I Believe It" --KLB
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2006
Location: glasgow
Posts: 31
I know that about my medication and thats why today is a new beginning and no more drink not a drop. I will see how I get on my own and if need be I will go to a meeting
thanks for all your support
did you guys find it hard? and what do you now do at night time then? cause night time and drink go together for me to relax and chill at night
Get really bored at night without it
thanks jill
thanks for all your support
did you guys find it hard? and what do you now do at night time then? cause night time and drink go together for me to relax and chill at night
Get really bored at night without it
thanks jill
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,518
Yes, I found it hard!
And, I planned, planned and planned. I couldn't take the chance of having nothing to do during the times when I would have been drinking. Go for a long walk, watch a favorite movie, call someone on the phone, go to the gym - plan to do something that would take your mind off drinking, even just for a few minutes.
I wish you well today.
And, I planned, planned and planned. I couldn't take the chance of having nothing to do during the times when I would have been drinking. Go for a long walk, watch a favorite movie, call someone on the phone, go to the gym - plan to do something that would take your mind off drinking, even just for a few minutes.
I wish you well today.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2006
Location: glasgow
Posts: 31
Hi again
I am sorry if you thought I was being disrespectful to the group.
I have took all your advice on board now and I am on day 1 of being sober and dont feel like a drink tonight either which is good so far.
I walked straight past the alcohol section when I was out shopping today and filled my fridge with different types of juice to replace the alcohol for tonight instead
so thanks for all your support I really apprieciate it hope I can stay sober
I will rephrase that I know I can with all the support you are giving me thanks
I am sorry if you thought I was being disrespectful to the group.
I have took all your advice on board now and I am on day 1 of being sober and dont feel like a drink tonight either which is good so far.
I walked straight past the alcohol section when I was out shopping today and filled my fridge with different types of juice to replace the alcohol for tonight instead
so thanks for all your support I really apprieciate it hope I can stay sober
I will rephrase that I know I can with all the support you are giving me thanks
Member
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Chandler, AZ
Posts: 3
I'm not giving advice as I made my first post earlier today, but just to relate a story.
I quit about a year and a half ago for approx. a month. Now I too have been on anti-depressants for 15 years. After a month not only had the anti-depressants really started to take effect again, but I was shocked as to the increase in my sex drive after only a month.
Now I realize the irony in the above statement, based upon the fact that I resumed drinking, but it is a point which needs to be made.
I quit about a year and a half ago for approx. a month. Now I too have been on anti-depressants for 15 years. After a month not only had the anti-depressants really started to take effect again, but I was shocked as to the increase in my sex drive after only a month.
Now I realize the irony in the above statement, based upon the fact that I resumed drinking, but it is a point which needs to be made.
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