personality/personal growth?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: UK
Posts: 10
personality/personal growth?
I am on day 20 of not drinking.
I am up and down with my thoughts about alcohol.
I know i must not run before i can walk but i have to ask this.
I know from the few AA meetings i attended that belief is,if one starts drinking in a alcoholic way ones mind stays at that point.As in the alcohol stunts personal growth and development.
I also understand ,'stinking thinking'was a term a very wise long time sober person told me.
It is not enough for me purely to stop drinking.
How do i kick start my personal growth?,will it come naturally if i stay stopped?.I know by going to meetings one can go through the steps.
I do not want to attend meetings,i know a lot of people here are for the meetings but i cannot go for very good reasons.
Is it possible to do the steps here?Can one get an online sponser?
Can one work it through ones self with books?
I have one book titled 'Sobriety' which i have read lots of times and i am currently reading again but can anyone name a good book,apart from the big book that would guide me in layman's terms?
Thankyou
Shyl
I am up and down with my thoughts about alcohol.
I know i must not run before i can walk but i have to ask this.
I know from the few AA meetings i attended that belief is,if one starts drinking in a alcoholic way ones mind stays at that point.As in the alcohol stunts personal growth and development.
I also understand ,'stinking thinking'was a term a very wise long time sober person told me.
It is not enough for me purely to stop drinking.
How do i kick start my personal growth?,will it come naturally if i stay stopped?.I know by going to meetings one can go through the steps.
I do not want to attend meetings,i know a lot of people here are for the meetings but i cannot go for very good reasons.
Is it possible to do the steps here?Can one get an online sponser?
Can one work it through ones self with books?
I have one book titled 'Sobriety' which i have read lots of times and i am currently reading again but can anyone name a good book,apart from the big book that would guide me in layman's terms?
Thankyou
Shyl
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Here is a link..
http://nickscape.net/recoveryzone/online_sponsor1.htm
I have no personal experience in the way you are doing.
So no advice from me...
Congrats on your sober days
http://nickscape.net/recoveryzone/online_sponsor1.htm
I have no personal experience in the way you are doing.
So no advice from me...
Congrats on your sober days
LEARNING TO LIVE AGAIN
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: BFOhio but sober
Posts: 53
Trying to figure this out to grow up
Hi Shyl I have been sober for a little over 11months now I went to AA meetings once a week till i finally got over the fear of being found out that I was an alcoholic heck everyone but me knew for years i knew really about 6 years ago but I tried to run from it guess what it found me where I moved to and it only got worse!!! but I was in AA for 4mnths before realizing that i wasnt alone I found a good out of town meeting they made me feel so welcome they invited me to other meetings and the next thing I knew all I wanted to do was go to meetings I have a whole new attitude on life now I finnally feeling like I am getting to about 25 and I am 33 so I am growing slowly emotionally sometimes I still am a wreck but with the steps I am getting better I work with my sponsor not as much as I should but I am working on that I really think you need the person to person contact with
sponsor not saying that one on line wouldnt be nice too i more think of online as one of my spiritual advisors you can usually find the answer in what you are looking for here. There are a lot of really good examples here in these rooms but if I was you I would find a real meeting at least once a week and a real person to person sponsor and trust me there are people just like you in all the rooms of AA. sincerely Aaron
ALWAYS SAY ANOTHER PRAYER
LIVE LIFE ON LIFES TERMS!!!!
sponsor not saying that one on line wouldnt be nice too i more think of online as one of my spiritual advisors you can usually find the answer in what you are looking for here. There are a lot of really good examples here in these rooms but if I was you I would find a real meeting at least once a week and a real person to person sponsor and trust me there are people just like you in all the rooms of AA. sincerely Aaron
ALWAYS SAY ANOTHER PRAYER
LIVE LIFE ON LIFES TERMS!!!!
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,512
Hi Shyl,
I agree with you that personal growth stops when addiction takes over. And, I think it's great to know you need to work on personal growth. I think balance is really important and I try to work on physical, emotional and spiritual growth every day. If I neglect any of these areas for very long, I suffer for it.
I am not an AA person, but I know it works well for many people. The book that changed everything for me is "The Seat of the Soul" by Gary Zukav. He is a recovering addict and explains the process of addiction and recovery in a loving and spiritual way that worked for me. I think there are lots of books that are very helpful in the process of recovery, books that make you question yourself and help you to move forward. Another book that really inspired me is "Drinking: A Love Story" by Caroline Knapp. This, of course, is from the perspective of a young, successful woman who describes her love affair with alcohol and the process she went through to get sober.
I wish you well.
I agree with you that personal growth stops when addiction takes over. And, I think it's great to know you need to work on personal growth. I think balance is really important and I try to work on physical, emotional and spiritual growth every day. If I neglect any of these areas for very long, I suffer for it.
I am not an AA person, but I know it works well for many people. The book that changed everything for me is "The Seat of the Soul" by Gary Zukav. He is a recovering addict and explains the process of addiction and recovery in a loving and spiritual way that worked for me. I think there are lots of books that are very helpful in the process of recovery, books that make you question yourself and help you to move forward. Another book that really inspired me is "Drinking: A Love Story" by Caroline Knapp. This, of course, is from the perspective of a young, successful woman who describes her love affair with alcohol and the process she went through to get sober.
I wish you well.
Member
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Montana
Posts: 50
HI shyl...
I would guess some personal growth might come from just not drinking.. But if your alcoholic a great big goodluck to you with "just" not drinking.. If that worked most of us would not be here right now..
My personal growth did not start until I started working the steps of AA.. That was 25 years ago when I began and the growth never ends..
Yes, there are online sponsors. I have been an online sponsor to a few - but with strong encouragement that they must look for a face to face sponsor as well.
I highly suggest the Big Book ( alcoholics anonymous ) and the 12x12.. Actually you can read the big book online at aa.org
As for not being able to make meetings - I was glad you did not give us a big list of reasons ( smile ).. I have probably heard near all of them.. Consider this thought. If you had cancer and had to make treatments or die what would you do??? My guess is that no matter what you would find a way to make it to your treatments. Beleive me when I tell you this disease of alchoholism kills big time.. There are just 3 ways out of it.. Get locked up, get covered up or get sobered up..
But it takes what it takes for each one of us.. When we really hit our bottom we become willing to go to any lengths to get and stay sober which equals staying alive. I know I had to go where I would not want to see anyone go. Unfortunatly I nor anyone else can do anything about that.. Its up to you.
I will share a little about my early experience though as that is what we do - share our experience, strength and hope.
When I got sober I was living in a shack way up in the hills.. I call it Montana Skid Row.. (smile).. No running water. Out door toilet, snow sifting in the cracks. etc.. I had no job, no car, no money and just got my 9 yr. old daughter back.. It was 7 miles of dirt road to the highway.. Another 25 miles to town to where there were meetings..... And I did not want to go to meetings.. but, I managed to get out of there every day for a drink.. So I managed to get out of there every day for a meeting.. Yes - every day.. Walking, hitchihiking or whatever.. Did I mention I did not want to go to AA?? (smile)...
My best to you...... Linda C.
I would guess some personal growth might come from just not drinking.. But if your alcoholic a great big goodluck to you with "just" not drinking.. If that worked most of us would not be here right now..
My personal growth did not start until I started working the steps of AA.. That was 25 years ago when I began and the growth never ends..
Yes, there are online sponsors. I have been an online sponsor to a few - but with strong encouragement that they must look for a face to face sponsor as well.
I highly suggest the Big Book ( alcoholics anonymous ) and the 12x12.. Actually you can read the big book online at aa.org
As for not being able to make meetings - I was glad you did not give us a big list of reasons ( smile ).. I have probably heard near all of them.. Consider this thought. If you had cancer and had to make treatments or die what would you do??? My guess is that no matter what you would find a way to make it to your treatments. Beleive me when I tell you this disease of alchoholism kills big time.. There are just 3 ways out of it.. Get locked up, get covered up or get sobered up..
But it takes what it takes for each one of us.. When we really hit our bottom we become willing to go to any lengths to get and stay sober which equals staying alive. I know I had to go where I would not want to see anyone go. Unfortunatly I nor anyone else can do anything about that.. Its up to you.
I will share a little about my early experience though as that is what we do - share our experience, strength and hope.
When I got sober I was living in a shack way up in the hills.. I call it Montana Skid Row.. (smile).. No running water. Out door toilet, snow sifting in the cracks. etc.. I had no job, no car, no money and just got my 9 yr. old daughter back.. It was 7 miles of dirt road to the highway.. Another 25 miles to town to where there were meetings..... And I did not want to go to meetings.. but, I managed to get out of there every day for a drink.. So I managed to get out of there every day for a meeting.. Yes - every day.. Walking, hitchihiking or whatever.. Did I mention I did not want to go to AA?? (smile)...
My best to you...... Linda C.
Living and Loving.
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Saratoga, California
Posts: 475
Originally Posted by 51anna
The book that changed everything for me is "The Seat of the Soul" by Gary Zukav. He is a recovering addict and explains the process of addiction and recovery in a loving and spiritual way that worked for me. I think there are lots of books that are very helpful in the process of recovery, books that make you question yourself and help you to move forward.
Suga
Member
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Houston, Texas
Posts: 628
Hi Shyl,
Congratulations on making it to DAY 20!
Whatever you're doing sounds right since you've come this far. I have the same thoughts as you do. It sounds like you really want to do something with your life. You can make a big difference in others lives by extending yourself out to them. Working through alcoholism and advancing in personal growth takes time. Keep searching for the answers and help others at the same time. That's about all of the advice I can give you. Hope you have a wonderful day.
Val
Congratulations on making it to DAY 20!
Whatever you're doing sounds right since you've come this far. I have the same thoughts as you do. It sounds like you really want to do something with your life. You can make a big difference in others lives by extending yourself out to them. Working through alcoholism and advancing in personal growth takes time. Keep searching for the answers and help others at the same time. That's about all of the advice I can give you. Hope you have a wonderful day. Val
Guest
Posts: n/a
Hi Shyl.....congrats on your sober days fantastic.
Personal growth, looks to me like you're on your way now talking about it. It's a journey isn't it? The more knowledge we cram into your brains the stronger WE get. It's like waking up to so many things around us, that's how it's been for me, it's been slow, but I'm finally waking up, I've been sorta in a deep sleep all my life and I'm loving what's happening now, through all the pain and emotions that come with it.
You'll soon find your way like so many others here have, keep posting and talking about how you're feeling. Journaling is a good thing too, if you're not now give it a try, write something down every day even if you don't feel like it, you'll be amazed what your hand will write down, and more amazed when you go back a month from now and read how you felt and how you've grown.
Not sure if this will help, it's a book I'm presently reading, Dare To Be Yourself..Alan Cohen...today this part stuck out for me Wishing you all the best on your continued journey to recovery.
Much love.....Denise
Personal growth, looks to me like you're on your way now talking about it. It's a journey isn't it? The more knowledge we cram into your brains the stronger WE get. It's like waking up to so many things around us, that's how it's been for me, it's been slow, but I'm finally waking up, I've been sorta in a deep sleep all my life and I'm loving what's happening now, through all the pain and emotions that come with it.
You'll soon find your way like so many others here have, keep posting and talking about how you're feeling. Journaling is a good thing too, if you're not now give it a try, write something down every day even if you don't feel like it, you'll be amazed what your hand will write down, and more amazed when you go back a month from now and read how you felt and how you've grown.
Not sure if this will help, it's a book I'm presently reading, Dare To Be Yourself..Alan Cohen...today this part stuck out for me
"When you know who you are, you will have the answer to every challenge that life poses. When you do not remember who you are, all of life is a problem. Close your eyes, quiet your mind, and delve into your Source. Deep within you is the awareness that you are a spiritual being, perfect, whole, and one with the Great Mind that created you. Herein lies the source of your healing. It is the way out of your difficulties and into peace." Ramana Maharshi
Much love.....Denise
Guest
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 1,525
Hey there Shyl!
I second 51anna's recommendation of Drinking-A Love Story. That book changed my life --lots to ponder in there.
Currently, I'm reading Stay Sober and Straight by M.C. Maultsby, Jr., M.D. It's helping me gain some insight and make positive changes in how I think. Maybe that would be one for you.
All the best,
Jane
I second 51anna's recommendation of Drinking-A Love Story. That book changed my life --lots to ponder in there.
Currently, I'm reading Stay Sober and Straight by M.C. Maultsby, Jr., M.D. It's helping me gain some insight and make positive changes in how I think. Maybe that would be one for you.
All the best,
Jane
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