bored1

Hi eveyrone.

I can't seem to get my head around how to get through the 4 hours between 6:00 and 10:00 in the evenings without a drink.

I am sure that statement would sound ridiculous to most "normal" 40 year old moms, but I'm hoping to find some understanding on this board ... it sure is a great board and I'm so glad to have found it.

I don't have any major life problems and I'm not sure why I drink, except that I think I'm afraid to be "bored" (which doesn't sound quite right, but that's the closest I can get to trying to say how it feels for me).

I drink approximately, on average, a full pint (sometimes more, sometimes less) of rum just about every evening. I don't know if that sounds like a lot (a drink every 45 minutes to an hour, for 4 hours each night) ?? Or maybe it's "normal" ?? (good Lord, I know it's not normal .. why did I even ask that? ... maybe hoping that somehow it might actually be normal and I'm looking for "permission" to drink while here asking for help to stop? ..OMG, I am twisted.)

ANYWAY... while I enjoy the relaxed feeling those rum and cokes gives me, how it puts me to sleep later, and that it's simply "something to do"... I also know that it's expensive, makes me feel more tired the next morning than I want to, is likely doing something to my insides that will show up sometime in my future, which is scary.... Plus it's not good role-modelling for my teenaged daughters ....though I do take precautions to keep it out of their faces and not to breathe on them -- gee, that makes it OK then, doesn't it? (sarcasm)

Sorry .... anyway ....

SO... I want to stop. I want to be "normal" and have a "normal" home life ... whatever that is.

I spent some time yesterday evening wondering what the other moms in my neighbourhood are doing "right now", as I sipped on my first rum and coke of the evening, sitting outside on my deck listening to the radio, before heading inside to finish off the rest of the dinner dishes in the sink.

I wondered if those other moms in those other houses were doing laundry.. or dishes.. maybe tidying up after dinner.. or preparing a meal or a lunch for the next day.. or perhaps they were exercising, or taking their dog for a walk. All of those things sound so boring to me, without a drink. Drinks make everything fun and relaxing. Why aren't those women having drinks too? Maybe they don't know how much better drinking is ... surely they'd drink if they knew how nice it felt? .... Wouldn't they? .... (I know the answer is "no" - but this is what went through my head.)

I want to be able to enjoy my evenings without craving (wanting/needing) a drink. Jeez... it's only a few hours every evening. It shouldn't be this difficult, right? .... but it IS.

AA? ... Oh, I've thought about it ... a lot ... and I'm afraid it would be embarrassing to tell anyone I'm going ... and I would feel bad to sneak off to a meeting too, without telling at least my husband ... can't do that. Can't admit there's a problem ... 'cause then I'd be "out there", and "there" is a scary place, I think.

I want to give a really good try .. to do this on my own first. See what happens if I dive in and put my everything into it .. between now and say September, before really considering finding an AA meeting.

SO ..... for starters .... Could I please ask ... what do you all do with your evenings? And do any of you struggle with evenings like I do? .. And, if you've figured out how to get past it, can you let me know?

I don't want to drink tonight ..... (and I'm not ready to fit AA into my life just yet) ..... Help?

Thanks everyone for listening.... This board feels really good.

Midas

Glad you found us here at Sober Recovery! Welcome Aboard. I'm not a mum myself [♂], but closely approaching the 40-something stage.

What's a bored soul to do with all the free sober time?? Find a hobby or two. Volunteer some time at AA meetings, or maybe your church (if you are church-goer).

A few things I do to kill time--aside from being on the forums a LOT--is reading about world events in my Funk & Wagnall's Annual Journals & Science Yearbooks from a few years back. I was so drunk all the time that I missed a lot of important events. Completely Oblivious.

I spend a considerable amount of time with my artwork, music, poetry, and going through the dozen moving boxes in my living room. I never realized I have SO MUCH CRAP!!

CAPTAINZING2000

The fact that you think you have a problem is the first step.

Many of us never wanted to admit we had a problem. If, you had cancer, would you not tell your hubby you had it? Would you ignore it and hope it went away?

Alcohol problems have to be met head on because, they progressively get worse never better. This disease can leave us in the gutter in denial of our problem with drinking.

Do not have idel time on your hands. You got some where like a gymn to work out? There a place you can go walk or jog. Got any friends that like to do this.

You don't have to be bored. AA can fill an empty void for hours spent inside of a glass of booze

wantneeda

Welcome bored1!!!
so glad you found your way here, my name is Wendy, a drug addicted alcoholic in recovery. 14 months as of yesterday.
i too wondered what the heck i was going to do with my time if i wasn't drinking...today i don't have enough time in a day to do all i want to do. But i gotta put my needs beofre my wants...hey maybe i should change my name to Needwanta...lol, no don't sound right. Thats why i have this user name though. When i was in treatment part of our work was 'contracts for change' that we did every week.
what do i want, what do i need. In order to get what i want i gotta do what i need, when i do what i need to do, i usually find i get what i want...guess this should go in Captains-how did you get your user name- thread
What I used to think was boring today i find gratitude for, the simple things in life, like being home and doing the dishes, for 3 years i didn't own any dishes, i didn't have a home. Going for a walk? love it. I actually appreciate nature today. I'm alive today to be grateful for nature
I do go to AA, it saved my life. I made friends in the program that i can call anytime i feel i NEED to. AA is teaching me how to live without drinking.
I'm also a Mom, i can relate to trying to hide my drinking. I used to put my booze in a travel mug. They knew anyway, and they could smell me a mile away.
Good for you for recognizing you have a problem with alcohol, like Cap says, that Is the first step.
keep coming back you are very important to us!
hugs, Wendy

bored1

Thanks you guys for the replies... I've been here (at work) looking around the site.. off and on since this morning. There is SO much information, thoughts, feelings, etc., on this board!

Finding something to "do" ... I've been looking at the Weight Watcher's website today too and, since I'm a good bit above what I should weigh, I have (almost) decided to sign up. At least it's something sober to do!

There are a heck of a lot of calories in those pints of rum, aren't there.

Oh boy.

Thanks again ... any ideas and thoughts are SO much appreciated. I definitely need help...

...... I'm glad I can admit that here.

CAPTAINZING2000

There Were A Lot Of Calories In My Cases Of Beer As Well!!!!!!

CarolD

Congratulations on seeking to live sober!

I have never regretted my recovery from alcoholism.

Hope you find the joy of sobriety.

shockozulu

That time period is the worst for me too. It's killer. What do I do?

I found an interest, in my case space. I started reading an online (usenet) group made up of space 'know-it-alls' and folks that work at NASA. Soon I began spending drug money on expensive but technical books on the Space Shuttle. Awesome stuff with blueprints, diagrams, comparative pictures etc.

I have one on my bed open right now.

Thats what I do.

nogard

Welcome to SR bored1. Posting here and looking after yourself should take a chunk out of the day

nogard