I think I lost my girlfriend to drugs... too :-(
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Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Spain
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I think I lost my girlfriend to drugs... too :-(
Hi, I'd posted my first message on a different forum, just because my problem seemed very similar to that told by another member (Hooha1985).
But as suggested by moderator, I'll begin this new thread here at Newcomers. Hope some of the readers can help me.
I'll explain my case here again:
Recently I broke up with my girl due to her problems with drugs. Now, she's not living with me and her problem has gone worse... she's taking even more drugs... now that she has not my control on her and my daily worrying.
So, as I'm still a good (best!) friend for her, and I really care for her, I don't know how to act. I think I got two main options:
Second one seems quite scary to me... it means pain every time she comes to me and tells me what she does when she goes out on drugs... But wouldn't it like giving as aspirine to a bad ill person... it will make nothing to cure her, but make the illnes last longer by easying the pain...
(Hope you can undertand my bad English, folks! Thank you in advance for your help)
But as suggested by moderator, I'll begin this new thread here at Newcomers. Hope some of the readers can help me.
I'll explain my case here again:
Recently I broke up with my girl due to her problems with drugs. Now, she's not living with me and her problem has gone worse... she's taking even more drugs... now that she has not my control on her and my daily worrying.
So, as I'm still a good (best!) friend for her, and I really care for her, I don't know how to act. I think I got two main options:
- Telling her: well, I'm your friend but I don't want to see how you ruin your life... so you must choose between me and the drugs.
- Just let her go down and remain as a last help for her in case she decides to kick drugs away.
Second one seems quite scary to me... it means pain every time she comes to me and tells me what she does when she goes out on drugs... But wouldn't it like giving as aspirine to a bad ill person... it will make nothing to cure her, but make the illnes last longer by easying the pain...
(Hope you can undertand my bad English, folks! Thank you in advance for your help)
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Hi and Welcome!!
I can help others as long as the desire is there.
This has not happened with my family and friends perhaps because I could not beobjective.
You did not cause her to use drugs...and you can not cure her.
May you find a way to let go of her situation.
This has not happened with my family and friends perhaps because I could not beobjective.
You did not cause her to use drugs...and you can not cure her.
May you find a way to let go of her situation.
Welcome to SR!! This is a wonderful place.
Unfortunately an addict will not quit until THEY are ready. I know you want to help...but you cant help her.....you can only help yourself.....Ouch, I know that thought hurts.
For ME..I had to say goodbye.. I tried the friend thing and it was too sad to watch someone I love destroy their life.
Hop over to the Naranon board...there is a ton of information to read about loving an addict.
Hugs
M
Unfortunately an addict will not quit until THEY are ready. I know you want to help...but you cant help her.....you can only help yourself.....Ouch, I know that thought hurts.
For ME..I had to say goodbye.. I tried the friend thing and it was too sad to watch someone I love destroy their life.
Hop over to the Naranon board...there is a ton of information to read about loving an addict.
Hugs
M
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Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Spain
Posts: 5
Originally Posted by CarolD
You did not cause her to use drugs...and you can not cure her.
What I'm trying to guess right now is the best way to influence her, to make a difference, no matter if only a little difference, but a difference in the good (curing) direction...
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Join Date: Apr 2005
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Originally Posted by Mich
I know you want to help...but you cant help her.....you can only help yourself.....Ouch, I know that thought hurts.
Originally Posted by Mich
For ME..I had to say goodbye.. I tried the friend thing and it was too sad to watch someone I love destroy their life.
Originally Posted by Mich
Hop over to the Naranon board...there is a ton of information to read about loving an addict.
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Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: somewhere
Posts: 3,384
Hi, don't give up on her. When I was lost in my drug use, I had a good friend who cared enough to reach out to me. He reached out to me, talked with me about my options and didn't give up on me. Although he didn't walk away, he told me that he could not be closely involved in my life while I was using. This was a wake up call to me. I continued to use for a while after that, but eventually his words kept going through my head and I knew I had a friend who truly cared.
In the end, he was the friend who helped me save my life.
There is always hope.
In the end, he was the friend who helped me save my life.
There is always hope.
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Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Spain
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Originally Posted by hopealwayz
Although he didn't walk away, he told me that he could not be closely involved in my life while I was using.
Thank you very much. I think your opinion has helped me see through :-)
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