susan_17

I feel like I am dying inside. Every breath takes so much energy. How do you all do it? Tears roll down my face as I wonder if I'll ever be free. I am up then down, etc, etc,etc,...... I can't live like this anymore. I have no energy, i want to give up. 24yrs. old and a complete failure. I have tried everything: re-hab, detox's , meetings, God..... when will I break through to the other side?

kckman

Patience it is all a process. Just hold on to abstience a day at a time. Trust and believe... it is all about living life a day at a time.

2dayzmuse

Draw strength from others. Take it one minute at a time. If you get through the hard days, you'll never have to go through this ever again, as long as you don't pick up. Go to meetings and stay in touch with other alcoholics. It will get easier. Get through tonight and then worry about tomorrow, tomorrow. Have you got a sponsor yet? The step work made the difference between me being drunk and me getting sober. AA works. It really does. Have faith and hope. The rest will follow with patience. Stay strong Susan. If I can do it you can do it. If you pick up, the cycle will never end. We all have to start at day one. I won't drink if you won't drink. Do we have a deal?

my_enemy_myself

I understand what you feel. I haven't used drugs for 40 months, and the first year especially was tough... not to mention the many failed attempts at quitting.

My best advice is try to find the positive side of your negative feelings. That was a big coping strategy for me. When I feel I'm a failure, and want to use again, I think of all the lost opportunities and mistakes that were brought on by my drug habit. Then I say enough, I won't let the drugs take any more from me.

And when you are feeling down, if you recognize it as a low point, then recognize that you will also have a high point later. Everyone's life has ups and downs. If you hang in there, the lows won't be as low or as often.

It DOES get easier!

gonzo

Susan, I am so glad you are here today to share with me what you are going thru.
You are stronger than you think. You saw that your life had to change and you have the willingness to change, Which puts you ahead of a heck of alot of people.
Keep posting....
Love cindy
I'll come back if you do...

mikee

Susan:
As above, one day at a time ,one hour at a time!
It Gets better, the price is a little time, it hurts, but trust it, its worth it.

1_day@_a_time

actually, you are free now,,,,,,,,,,,,when you are sober.

It's when you are not sober, you are burdened!!!

All depends on how YOU look at it.

T

Time2Surrender

Susan,I am glad you are here too.And I think its great you are sharing this.It will get better,I promise.Hang in there.And dont forget,you have a lotta people here at SR who care and are here to support you.

Anna

Susan,

A really big thing for me in recovery was to know in my heart that the 'down' times would pass and I'd feel good again. That made the down times much easier to get through. You're getting stronger each day and we're all here with you.

Love, Anna

Chy

Susan, be strong sweety. When was the last time you went to the doctor? If it's been awhile go, get a good check up, maybe your experiancing a bit of depression which is common. Maybe something else internally is going on, you won't know until you check, and there are some good medications out there to help. Your certainly not alone we've been there, your young, you can do this and come out stronger in the end.

CAPTAINZING2000

Susan,
everyone has a bad day. Sounds like you might have a need to go to a doctor. I didn't ever read, have you ever checked to see if, you could b bi-polar?

Wouldn't hurt to check. I felt like crap for 2 years. i know feel great. i don't take any meds. i think, it just took my emotions that long to work right from all the years of drinking




love

chris

Moontime

Susan, hang in there!!! This too shalt pass. You met Tony this weekend, he's from our area. I mentioned you to him and I believe he got in touch with you this past weekend in WV. Listen, I have a woman's phone number that I would like you to call. She said it would be fine if you called her. If you ever feel like a road trip please come and see our fellowship here in Charlottesville, Va. The woman in the program are a tight group and they protect each other in NA. We are all brothers and sisters here. I hope you can make it down sometime.

susan_17

I feel horrible today... I used again last night. Missed school again and haven't been to work in days. I am falling apart and feel I can't stop. I have no money, food, etc... I can't go on like this, I just can't its insane! I am going to work tonight and have a doctors excuse for the days I have missed. I was diagnosed as bi-polar and have had bad side effects with the med's. Probably because I am still using. I wish with all my heart I was different that I didn't have these addictions. Its killing me slowly but surely. My head feels as if its about to explode and my stomach aches with disgust. I have to stop! Please ya'll say an extra prayer for me I 'm not sure he is hearing mine. With Love, Suaan

CAPTAINZING2000

Susan,

please please don't go mixing any alcohol with the meds hon. Let the meds gert a chance to work for you ok!!!! Might be a while before you notice the meds working but, you have to let it work.

We're all here for you ok

love

chris

Moontime

Susan, check your PM

ChrisMan

Susan,

(((Susan)))

Keep posting here or wherever you feel connected. Keep that connection going.

Get the help you need. It will happen. Things will get better. People here have helped me so much -- they will help you, too. Please let us know how you are doing.

ChrisMan

indigo

Susan here's my hand reach out and take it and as above I agree with all our friends here at SR.
indigo

kckman

Susan, It is in your hands. Alcohol is not drinking the You. You are drinking the alcohol.
Bieng addicted is really f^(!ed I know. You can become free from the shakels and break the chains. You have the key. Learn to become Abstinent a day at a time. Never give up. You are not a worthless human being. You deserve to become sober and you can.

Time2Surrender

(((Susan))) :rose :xmas1 :xmasu Hang in there.You will be in my prayers.

susan_17

I went to a meeting tonight and picked up a desire chip. They asked me to share, the topic was on acceptance- imagine that. On the way home the liquor store was screaming for me to stop but I kept driving and am sitting here sober tonight. I have thought so much today about my life and what this disease is doing to me. I need to get my head out of my a$$ and start putting more effort into my recovery as well as stop feeling sorry for myself. I can't guarantee I will be sober tomorrow but I will not be geting drunk tonight. Thank you all for all the support, whether you all know it or not your helping save my life. Lots of love, Susan