newbie! with history
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Hamilton Ontario
Posts: 3
newbie! with history
hi everyone 
....
i really have no idea where to start here... but i guess its about my addiction. I have vices, like everyone, caffine, nicotine, the usual Legal Drugs. I have smoked drugs and ingested them in my day, but i don;t anymore, because of a woman.
My addiction is to chat. I'll give you a little history. About four years ago I had a great job great life, great social circle of freinds (very supportive) then i got a computer. It was fun, interesting, i was amazed at all the thingsi could do with it. I used to publish a newletter for the company i worked for, layout, design everything! very creative. Ok, so my job. I worked in sales, commision based, My first year i made 52 grand, great year for a first timer, i was loved by my boss because in the line of work you do your income can only go up (no, not Amway :P ) I did some stand up on the side, things were looking great , looking up if you will. THEN i got my computer, second year on the job i made 34 grand ( i am not mentioning the numbers for the sake of "get a load of me!" i am just tryin to set a pattern) I lost the Newsletter job because i'd always be late with it, not like ten minutes, DAYS late, make up excuse ie. computer Virus, brough in the wrong disk... blah blah blah. 3rd year, 22 G's.... Chattin was a big problem for me. I'd sneak away from social fuinctions because i wanted to get home to talk to my online "friends" I eventually lost my job because i was up all night, coming in late for work, no focus, I just started NOT listening to people because my focus just wasn;t there.... Then something came along, i met a woman online (same old story) but she changed my habits online... i fell in love with her, was here in the morning before work, She'd make sure i left the house on time, then we;d meet online after 11 and talk for an hour before bed, she got me into a pattern, Work was going well, i was making money...snapped me out of the addiction. or so i thought... I never got bored with her, but there were times when i'd just go back into chat. Anyway... It been a year we have been talking, but i usedd to hide my chatting from her, I found out she was too. I was devistated. Anyway, thats personal. The point is, i thought that i had kicked it, the chat thing.... but here i am.. i started going back into chat in about september... I very quickly fell into the same pattern, this time it cost me my job. I have been unemployed now for a month, She's leaving me ( i think) and i just don't have the motivation... I took the step of deleting the chat program, but i do go through withdrawls, its been almost a week since i went back into it. As sad as it sounds, It seems like there is a big part of my life thats missing. First off, she's missing and secondly, the online is missing... i am trying my best to stay away from it, thats why i searched for addiction web sites. I know i need help, it something i can't do alone, i've lost pretty much four years of my life to it. I'd give it all up to have her, but my fear is.... and its pretty legitimate, if i give up online (addiction) i give up her (love) see my dilema ?...can anyone suggest anything ? its tough, i feel weak... anyone ... anything ?????
....i really have no idea where to start here... but i guess its about my addiction. I have vices, like everyone, caffine, nicotine, the usual Legal Drugs. I have smoked drugs and ingested them in my day, but i don;t anymore, because of a woman.
My addiction is to chat. I'll give you a little history. About four years ago I had a great job great life, great social circle of freinds (very supportive) then i got a computer. It was fun, interesting, i was amazed at all the thingsi could do with it. I used to publish a newletter for the company i worked for, layout, design everything! very creative. Ok, so my job. I worked in sales, commision based, My first year i made 52 grand, great year for a first timer, i was loved by my boss because in the line of work you do your income can only go up (no, not Amway :P ) I did some stand up on the side, things were looking great , looking up if you will. THEN i got my computer, second year on the job i made 34 grand ( i am not mentioning the numbers for the sake of "get a load of me!" i am just tryin to set a pattern) I lost the Newsletter job because i'd always be late with it, not like ten minutes, DAYS late, make up excuse ie. computer Virus, brough in the wrong disk... blah blah blah. 3rd year, 22 G's.... Chattin was a big problem for me. I'd sneak away from social fuinctions because i wanted to get home to talk to my online "friends" I eventually lost my job because i was up all night, coming in late for work, no focus, I just started NOT listening to people because my focus just wasn;t there.... Then something came along, i met a woman online (same old story) but she changed my habits online... i fell in love with her, was here in the morning before work, She'd make sure i left the house on time, then we;d meet online after 11 and talk for an hour before bed, she got me into a pattern, Work was going well, i was making money...snapped me out of the addiction. or so i thought... I never got bored with her, but there were times when i'd just go back into chat. Anyway... It been a year we have been talking, but i usedd to hide my chatting from her, I found out she was too. I was devistated. Anyway, thats personal. The point is, i thought that i had kicked it, the chat thing.... but here i am.. i started going back into chat in about september... I very quickly fell into the same pattern, this time it cost me my job. I have been unemployed now for a month, She's leaving me ( i think) and i just don't have the motivation... I took the step of deleting the chat program, but i do go through withdrawls, its been almost a week since i went back into it. As sad as it sounds, It seems like there is a big part of my life thats missing. First off, she's missing and secondly, the online is missing... i am trying my best to stay away from it, thats why i searched for addiction web sites. I know i need help, it something i can't do alone, i've lost pretty much four years of my life to it. I'd give it all up to have her, but my fear is.... and its pretty legitimate, if i give up online (addiction) i give up her (love) see my dilema ?...can anyone suggest anything ? its tough, i feel weak... anyone ... anything ?????
I choose to live
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Antwerp (Belgium)
Posts: 390
Damnthatain'tfunnyatall...I wonder does the woman know you are falling in love with her ...Maybe there is a possibility that you can meet her in real life..And does she know bout the fact that your chattin got you into trouble..Maybe you can try to communicate with her by e-mail (write eachother long letters)Well o.K it ain't as direct as the chat but maybe it is a posibility to handle your addiction better...Anyhow..Welcome on SR ...You will get a lot of suport here...I really don't know what to say to you but maybe your chatthing is the same as with the booz 
...JUST SAY NO TO THE FIRST ONE...So don't go sit behind your computer telling yourself you will only chat for a few minutes finding yourself bein' still busy with it a few hours later :yelling ..I think you should find an alternative so you can still keep a close contact with the women without goin' into chat..I think it's important you talk with the woman bout what trouble you got into by chatting...If she really loves you she will understand and find (together with you)another way to keep contact ...Man I'm realy curious bout how you are goin to do this I hope you keep posting...Love from Stefanie...
...JUST SAY NO TO THE FIRST ONE...So don't go sit behind your computer telling yourself you will only chat for a few minutes finding yourself bein' still busy with it a few hours later :yelling ..I think you should find an alternative so you can still keep a close contact with the women without goin' into chat..I think it's important you talk with the woman bout what trouble you got into by chatting...If she really loves you she will understand and find (together with you)another way to keep contact ...Man I'm realy curious bout how you are goin to do this I hope you keep posting...Love from Stefanie... Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Hamilton Ontario
Posts: 3
thanks..
thank you Stephanie
its been a week since i was in chat now, i am filling my time with other things, i found a new job (well, i find out today if i got it, but i am feelinin confident about that) As far as the woman goes, It's also been a week. I have a blog that i go to and post on because i just don;t want to inundate her with messages. She's sent me a few things in the mail lately to let me know shse's thinking about me, sweet things, "remember When" a song by Alan Jackson... beautiful song.. I did come on here because i do know that chat has pretty much ruined a lot of things for me. Its odd, becuase no matter how much "chatting" i was doing, i felt to things from it 1) that i wasn't gettin anything out of it aside from interaction and 2) I was missing out on something... even though with caht, you're only missing out on whats actually going on around you. I couldn't control the "just five minutes", like you said, i'd look at the clock and it was five hours later. What a waste. It is kind of a double edge sword though, because my woman and i would meet online at pretty much the same time everyday, so if i was bored while i waited, i'd go in chat, it would speed up the time while i waited. See the dilema ?.. I am glad i found this website, ironically enough it was a "chat" bot that sent me a message about online addiction. fighting fire with fire i guess. And thanks for your thoughts about my relationship. I appreciate that, i do love her so very much, and i have been REALLY down lately without her, but only time will tell, just have to keep my chin up i guess... but like i said, it's been a week since i was in chat, and i am feelin ok about it, feel like i am missing something, but i am feelin ok... I just hope that when i lose chat, i don't lose her....
thanks again Stephanie... I appreciate your comments
its been a week since i was in chat now, i am filling my time with other things, i found a new job (well, i find out today if i got it, but i am feelinin confident about that) As far as the woman goes, It's also been a week. I have a blog that i go to and post on because i just don;t want to inundate her with messages. She's sent me a few things in the mail lately to let me know shse's thinking about me, sweet things, "remember When" a song by Alan Jackson... beautiful song.. I did come on here because i do know that chat has pretty much ruined a lot of things for me. Its odd, becuase no matter how much "chatting" i was doing, i felt to things from it 1) that i wasn't gettin anything out of it aside from interaction and 2) I was missing out on something... even though with caht, you're only missing out on whats actually going on around you. I couldn't control the "just five minutes", like you said, i'd look at the clock and it was five hours later. What a waste. It is kind of a double edge sword though, because my woman and i would meet online at pretty much the same time everyday, so if i was bored while i waited, i'd go in chat, it would speed up the time while i waited. See the dilema ?.. I am glad i found this website, ironically enough it was a "chat" bot that sent me a message about online addiction. fighting fire with fire i guess. And thanks for your thoughts about my relationship. I appreciate that, i do love her so very much, and i have been REALLY down lately without her, but only time will tell, just have to keep my chin up i guess... but like i said, it's been a week since i was in chat, and i am feelin ok about it, feel like i am missing something, but i am feelin ok... I just hope that when i lose chat, i don't lose her....
thanks again Stephanie... I appreciate your comments
Psalm 118:24
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: ILLINOIS
Posts: 15,203
Funny,
How I can relate to the time on the net. The computer can b a good tool or a bad one. There's so much to learn from being on line and so little time
. Just get your priorities in order. God, family, job, friends, then spend time on line.
I don't do the chat sites. I do love being on these boards reading and sharing with everyone. This is better then being in front of the TV.
Just watch out on the isolation. We still need human contact. Don't confuse being on line with someone as the same as sharing your self with another human that you are in contact with.
How I can relate to the time on the net. The computer can b a good tool or a bad one. There's so much to learn from being on line and so little time
. Just get your priorities in order. God, family, job, friends, then spend time on line.I don't do the chat sites. I do love being on these boards reading and sharing with everyone. This is better then being in front of the TV.
Just watch out on the isolation. We still need human contact. Don't confuse being on line with someone as the same as sharing your self with another human that you are in contact with.
I choose to live
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Antwerp (Belgium)
Posts: 390
Yes it's true like you said:Only time will tell...
But hey we aren't talking bout an easy thing here...
We talk bout feelings...And in a way I think I can relate
to what you're goin' through...You want a kind of answer don't you...Well I'm sure you will get one...But like you said : Only time will tell...I should say:Be patient....and try to stay away from the fire...Love from $tef@nie... 
But hey we aren't talking bout an easy thing here...
We talk bout feelings...And in a way I think I can relate
to what you're goin' through...You want a kind of answer don't you...Well I'm sure you will get one...But like you said : Only time will tell...I should say:Be patient....and try to stay away from the fire...Love from $tef@nie...
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