1381 Days
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2020
Posts: 75
1381 Days
It’s been probably a little over a year since I last posted.
I got married 7 months ago. We are expecting a baby in late September. We closed on a house today- 2k sq ft on 2.5 acres. In the process of renovating the new house while getting the old house ready to sell. I was recognized as the top producer in my company (I’m in sales) a few weeks ago out of a couple hundred reps. On top of that I’m a high school baseball umpire working several nights a week.
A lot of good stuff happening which I’m grateful for. With that said I’ve been feeling insanely stressed and overwhelmed with the added pressures of being the “top rep” plus everything else going on. Had somewhat of a mental breakdown the other day after a fight with my wife (fueled by stress and lack of sleep) where she got up and walked out of the room. I think it triggered something in me and I lost it. Looking back it wasn’t that big of a deal. In the moment I was so overwhelmed I just broke. I’m not a cryer but i cried uncontrollably for about an hour.
Anyway I’m not going to drink. I haven’t even considered it. 4 years ago there is no way I could have handled any of this without drinking my way through it. literally had no coping skills at all. I’m trying to build in time to rest and rejuvenate and paying attention to my mental health. All the while working on loving my wife and being the best husband I can be. It’s kinda surreal. Usually my relationships always ended because of my drinking. Now I have a woman that loves me to pieces and I’m working on being the best husband (and future father) that I can be. It’s a lot but I’m grateful.
Anyway, those are the thoughts running through my head tonight. It’s messy, it’s up and down, the struggle is real, and life can be a lot. If I was still drinking I’d have no shot!!
I got married 7 months ago. We are expecting a baby in late September. We closed on a house today- 2k sq ft on 2.5 acres. In the process of renovating the new house while getting the old house ready to sell. I was recognized as the top producer in my company (I’m in sales) a few weeks ago out of a couple hundred reps. On top of that I’m a high school baseball umpire working several nights a week.
A lot of good stuff happening which I’m grateful for. With that said I’ve been feeling insanely stressed and overwhelmed with the added pressures of being the “top rep” plus everything else going on. Had somewhat of a mental breakdown the other day after a fight with my wife (fueled by stress and lack of sleep) where she got up and walked out of the room. I think it triggered something in me and I lost it. Looking back it wasn’t that big of a deal. In the moment I was so overwhelmed I just broke. I’m not a cryer but i cried uncontrollably for about an hour.
Anyway I’m not going to drink. I haven’t even considered it. 4 years ago there is no way I could have handled any of this without drinking my way through it. literally had no coping skills at all. I’m trying to build in time to rest and rejuvenate and paying attention to my mental health. All the while working on loving my wife and being the best husband I can be. It’s kinda surreal. Usually my relationships always ended because of my drinking. Now I have a woman that loves me to pieces and I’m working on being the best husband (and future father) that I can be. It’s a lot but I’m grateful.
Anyway, those are the thoughts running through my head tonight. It’s messy, it’s up and down, the struggle is real, and life can be a lot. If I was still drinking I’d have no shot!!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,477
good to see you FishingDude - congrats on your recovery 
I found stress didn't stop when I stopped drinking, but I pared things down to make myself a more balanced life.
I found I was doing a lot of things I didn't need to do...I learned to let some stuff go and delegate some more.
I don't know if you can realistically do that, but definitely focusing on balance is key I think?
D
I found stress didn't stop when I stopped drinking, but I pared things down to make myself a more balanced life.
I found I was doing a lot of things I didn't need to do...I learned to let some stuff go and delegate some more.
I don't know if you can realistically do that, but definitely focusing on balance is key I think?
D
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 1,068
FD - Here's some unsolicited advice from an internet keyboard commando. Please ignore it if it does not ring true to what you believe.
First and perhaps important, congratulations on your sobriety.
I'm not surprised that you are "feeling insanely stressed and overwhelmed". And you are about to add the most important job of a lifetime to your to-do list. Parenting. Why is top rep so stressful? Because you make it so. Do you think you need to be top rep every year? To me it seems fine if you are #2 or even #10 next year. That's still better than most of the reps. Also, please be humble enough to realize that part of being #1 is luck of having good customers.
Also, adding "high school baseball umpire working several nights a week" really seems like a crazy schedule. Maybe you are just doing too much? Unless you need the money perhaps you drop this activity.
Good luck whatever you decide to do. Have a great sober day.
First and perhaps important, congratulations on your sobriety.
I'm not surprised that you are "feeling insanely stressed and overwhelmed". And you are about to add the most important job of a lifetime to your to-do list. Parenting. Why is top rep so stressful? Because you make it so. Do you think you need to be top rep every year? To me it seems fine if you are #2 or even #10 next year. That's still better than most of the reps. Also, please be humble enough to realize that part of being #1 is luck of having good customers.
Also, adding "high school baseball umpire working several nights a week" really seems like a crazy schedule. Maybe you are just doing too much? Unless you need the money perhaps you drop this activity.
Good luck whatever you decide to do. Have a great sober day.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,242
With recovery meetings, recovery support, surrounding
ourselves with like minded individuals, helps us, guide
us, strengthen us, inspire us, encourage us, to stay
focused on what is top priority and doing what is most
important first while the rest will follow.
As we continue to listen, learn, absorb and apply recovery
tools and knowledge to our everyday life, we are building
a stronger recovery foundation to live and thrive upon in
all areas of our life.
We learn that if we don't do the foot work in recovery
for our dormant addiction then we can lose other things.
There are those who have lost material things, family,
homes, work, financial support and stability, self worth,
all to return to their addiction when least expected.
We can have it all, then it's all gone once we let our
guard down in recovery, because we learn that addiction
is cunning, baffling and powerful and can take anyone
out at any time if we let our guard down.
All our blessings and gifts in life are humbly and honestly
appreciated but mean nothing if we return to our addiction.
Congratulations on your recovery achievement as you
continue to move forward in a healthy, positive, sober way.
Heart, mind and soul.
ourselves with like minded individuals, helps us, guide
us, strengthen us, inspire us, encourage us, to stay
focused on what is top priority and doing what is most
important first while the rest will follow.
As we continue to listen, learn, absorb and apply recovery
tools and knowledge to our everyday life, we are building
a stronger recovery foundation to live and thrive upon in
all areas of our life.
We learn that if we don't do the foot work in recovery
for our dormant addiction then we can lose other things.
There are those who have lost material things, family,
homes, work, financial support and stability, self worth,
all to return to their addiction when least expected.
We can have it all, then it's all gone once we let our
guard down in recovery, because we learn that addiction
is cunning, baffling and powerful and can take anyone
out at any time if we let our guard down.
All our blessings and gifts in life are humbly and honestly
appreciated but mean nothing if we return to our addiction.
Congratulations on your recovery achievement as you
continue to move forward in a healthy, positive, sober way.
Heart, mind and soul.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: England
Posts: 270
Congrats on the sober time!
Im nearly 7 months sober now and recently a father for the first time.
Im not gonna lie, its tough at times but I wouldnt stand a chance if I was still drinking, and Im grateful for that and being able to appreciate the magic of looking out for a newborn baby.
Im nearly 7 months sober now and recently a father for the first time.
Im not gonna lie, its tough at times but I wouldnt stand a chance if I was still drinking, and Im grateful for that and being able to appreciate the magic of looking out for a newborn baby.
The Dog
Join Date: Apr 2023
Location: Fly over state USA
Posts: 5,200
Originally Posted by AAPJ 
And you are about to add the most important job of a lifetime to your to-do list.
Parenting.
Maybe you are just doing too much?
Parenting.
Maybe you are just doing too much?
Member
Join Date: Jan 2021
Posts: 528
Did you make amends with your wife? Feel free to PM me if you want to hear more about a process for making effective amends that I believe has been essential to my staying clean and sober for over 20 years after years of relapsing (including relapsing once after 4 years clean and sober).
Member
Join Date: Oct 2020
Location: Near the mountains
Posts: 1,542
Maybe it's time to go fishing. Seriously though, balance is key. I remember my wife being pregnant as two of the most stressful times in my life (I was drinking during these times). Then things got real! Give her and yourself a whole lot of patience, love, and grace.
Congrats on your sober time!
And the baby, and house, and success!
Congrats on your sober time!
And the baby, and house, and success!
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,527
Congratulations on your marriage, the upcoming baby and your new house! Also, very well done on your recovery. Stress is going to come along at times and be hard to deal with it. I think you can develop tools that will help you when that happens. For me, taking a deep breath and then consciously slowly my breathing helps.
Stress is going to come along at times and be hard to deal with it. I think you can develop tools that will help you when that happens. For me, taking a deep breath and then consciously slowly my breathing helps.
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 14,940
Congratulations on your continued sobriety!
You are in a stage of life where you have a lot of things going on. It's exciting, but can feel overwhelming. Try to live your life "one day at a time," that worked well for me. And don't be a stranger, log onto this website frequently, that can really help.
You are in a stage of life where you have a lot of things going on. It's exciting, but can feel overwhelming. Try to live your life "one day at a time," that worked well for me. And don't be a stranger, log onto this website frequently, that can really help.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 1,334
Congratulations on your sober time, FishingDude, and all the wonderful and joyful things that are happening in your life. Even the good stuff can be stressful, but how wonderful, especially the new edition.
Dee, this really resonated for me. If I am honest with myself, a lack of balance is why I failed last time in my sobriety. I had a bad habit of pushing myself, especially with work, and then collapsing and drinking to shut down and shut off. Last time I was sober, I worked hard to create routines and practices that ensured I stayed balanced. I let those slip, and so, too, did my sobriety.
Originally Posted by Dee74
good to see you FishingDude - congrats on your recovery
I found stress didn't stop when I stopped drinking, but I pared things down to make myself a more balanced life.
I found I was doing a lot of things I didn't need to do...I learned to let some stuff go and delegate some more.
I don't know if you can realistically do that, but definitely focusing on balance is key I think?
D
I found stress didn't stop when I stopped drinking, but I pared things down to make myself a more balanced life.
I found I was doing a lot of things I didn't need to do...I learned to let some stuff go and delegate some more.
I don't know if you can realistically do that, but definitely focusing on balance is key I think?
D
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