This is not a trifle
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: New England
Posts: 4,423
This is not a trifle
It's a time for reflection this time of year, and as a result I was reflecting today. My thoughts wandered to all the people I have met here on this site, the ones I've known for more than 12+ years and the many transmogrifications we have been through. The old timers (a name of pure respect, trust me, I hope that's me someday,) new people who come and stay and the ones who stay a while and go away and the ones who come and go. I was one who came and went a few times, sometimes years in between. I took this place lightly, I guess, not realizing that each time I stopped coming by I was so much more at risk of drinking because I lost my support, my people, my tribe. It is a place like no other, one where help is offered no matter what your circumstances, no matter what your need. There really isn't another place I can think of that is filled with this much willing and available experience, and I wonder sometimes if that's obvious soon enough to newer members or guests.
This place has saved lives, I've said it about myself, and others have said it about their own journeys. Do not take this place lightly, do not underestimate the POWER OF WE in the fight to be a sober person. It is not by coincidence that we read so often that someone has stopped coming here and then started drinking again. Coming here daily, no matter where you might be in your travels keeps you focused and accountable, provides the exact support needed (how often do we read a post and think, "hey, I could have written that") and the true and honest words that we need to hear when we need to hear them. No matter if you have 40 years or 2 hours- there is something to be offered to another person. The solidly sober find something useful in the service they can provide, as well as maybe enriching their own growth by sharing, and the newbie may both find comfort support while actually bringing some clarity or understanding to someone else in need. We can never really know the effect we have here, but this is certain- taking this place seriously, understanding the actual power (I think it's a little bit magic) and potential for life-changing metamorphosis and allowing ourselves to remain open and accepting to what we read here can save lives. The truly hopeless person can come here and will be accepted and enveloped in open arms, with the right words, the right level of both support and firm guidance. It's pretty remarkable, considering how hard it is to even find a few people with the same mind-set in real life- that you can come here and have hundreds of people who understand you.
Do not take this place lightly. Commit to this place and it will serve you in ways you can't even fathom, and it holds you to nothing. There just isn't any other place like it, and I am grateful every day I found my home here. Among my people, my friends.
This place has saved lives, I've said it about myself, and others have said it about their own journeys. Do not take this place lightly, do not underestimate the POWER OF WE in the fight to be a sober person. It is not by coincidence that we read so often that someone has stopped coming here and then started drinking again. Coming here daily, no matter where you might be in your travels keeps you focused and accountable, provides the exact support needed (how often do we read a post and think, "hey, I could have written that") and the true and honest words that we need to hear when we need to hear them. No matter if you have 40 years or 2 hours- there is something to be offered to another person. The solidly sober find something useful in the service they can provide, as well as maybe enriching their own growth by sharing, and the newbie may both find comfort support while actually bringing some clarity or understanding to someone else in need. We can never really know the effect we have here, but this is certain- taking this place seriously, understanding the actual power (I think it's a little bit magic) and potential for life-changing metamorphosis and allowing ourselves to remain open and accepting to what we read here can save lives. The truly hopeless person can come here and will be accepted and enveloped in open arms, with the right words, the right level of both support and firm guidance. It's pretty remarkable, considering how hard it is to even find a few people with the same mind-set in real life- that you can come here and have hundreds of people who understand you.
Do not take this place lightly. Commit to this place and it will serve you in ways you can't even fathom, and it holds you to nothing. There just isn't any other place like it, and I am grateful every day I found my home here. Among my people, my friends.
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Sonoran Desert & Southeast Asia
Posts: 6,561
Well put, VG. Saved my life too - helped me to first get sober in 2013, for over 3 years, but I got away from SR - my primary base of support - and eventually relapsed. Then it was back to the cycle until I admitted defeat and came back here 3 years ago and got back on track, albeit not without some fits and starts. The wonderful thing is there is never any judgement, or dogma - only support from this wonderful community. I attribute that to the wise, compassionate and experienced moderators as well as those regulars who generously give untold hours of their time to help others in need.
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Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 5,172
So many here with years of sobriety have remarked that this has been their sole source of support. That's pretty high praise. I wonder about people who come and go. It's not the kind of wonder as "What's wrong with them?" I just wonder because I have no idea how they are doing. This is my problem of course, not theirs. We all come here broken in some way, but some may need only to grasp one or two issues, before the light comes on, and for them, it's problem solved and we don't see them again for a year or two. While it took more than that for me, I think others maybe find what they need a lot faster. Others may need more contact and guidance, and some may lose interest in sobriety pretty quickly when they picture, either correctly or incorrectly, sobriety as too big an undertaking.
In the last couple of weeks, we've had what seems like an unusual number of check-ins from people with a couple or a few years of sobriety, some who may have left the forum before I got here and who I don't know. It's encouraging to know that so many of those who don't "keep coming back" have found in themselves what they need to stop wrecking their lives with a bottle of gin.
In the last couple of weeks, we've had what seems like an unusual number of check-ins from people with a couple or a few years of sobriety, some who may have left the forum before I got here and who I don't know. It's encouraging to know that so many of those who don't "keep coming back" have found in themselves what they need to stop wrecking their lives with a bottle of gin.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2020
Location: Mid-Atlantic states
Posts: 993
Excellent post, Viking! If I had gotten sober when I first found SR I would be somewhere close to 13 years, but I don't look at it that way. I KEPT coming back until it stuck, and will keep coming back forever. Thanks, Viking!
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,580
I love it, Viking. Thanks so much for putting your feelings into words so eloquently.
I didn't dream I'd ever stick with a place like SR. I was just curious & stopped by to read a few posts. That was 16 yrs ago.
I didn't dream I'd ever stick with a place like SR. I was just curious & stopped by to read a few posts. That was 16 yrs ago.
: VGF well said.
just keep swimming
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 504
Touching post. And so many parallels.
Including...
We started back then on the same date. You stayed. And I went. (And came back and went again.) Congrats Delilah.. !
Including...
Originally Posted by Delilah1 
Great reflection! This site helped me get and stay sober. I am three weeks away from eight years.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: New England
Posts: 4,423
Yea, I get that Mav. There are a group of people I started with in 2014, they are about to move into their tenth year. I went out and am glad to be back, but every once in a while I’m wistful. My life has changed so much in two years, but what if it was ten now? I do let that go, I can’t change the past, but those thoughts creep in. The important thing is that we are here now and we need never start over again.
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