FiveTries

How do you feel when you make a mistake? I did great at work today but I made a mistake that honestly didn't even negatively affect anyone. It's something that is easy to screw up, it happens.

I feel remorse, shame, emberrassment... It's like I woke up from a blackout bender.

I'm feeling a bit better now after typing that out. I don't want to be nonchalant about mistakes but it would be nice to not feel all the self- hatred. What do I do about this?

venuscat

It's a combination of things, dear Five. Low self-esteem and residual shame; at least that's what it is for me.

When I first got sober, every mistake I made sent me into a world of misery, shame, and overanalysis. These days, I just fix the mistake as best as I can, and I don't beat myself up. s ❤️

FiveTries

Thank you

DriGuy

Mistakes don't affect me that way, but if my negligence is the cause, I feel all of that and then some.

FiveTries

Good point Driguy,
I dove into the definitions of negligence vs a mistake and what happened today wouldn't qualify as negligent IMO.

DriGuy

In that case, I think you're being a little hard on yourself.

ToughChoices

Do you expect perfection from others?

I am trying to treat myself as I would treat those I am close to/interact with. That means compassion, forgiveness, and understanding for my humanness.

I mess up. So does everyone else. If I’m doing my best, I dismiss guilt/shame as an option.

Easy does it, five.

Offthemast

You said it. Shake it off. Its part of life and happens to everyone.

SproutLife

Yeah good for you for being reflective about your reactions there! Turning that anguish into "hey I learned something today, i leveled up woohoo!" Is so hard but makes the rocky bits of life so much easier.

Thank you for posting! Its totally a scenario of soberiety right, taking life on lifes terms.

Anna

When that happens to me, I try to remember the good parts of what I was doing, or just the good parts of the day. It takes effort sometimes to stop going to that place of shame and blame, but you can do it.

Dee74

One thing I gained from recovery is a better sense of perspective. The old response of beating myself up, and the self hatred, went hand in hand with drinking..I don’t need that excuse anymore because drinking is no longer part of my life

D

VikingGF

Mistakes happen, and these days I own up to them immediately, and do my best to keep them from happening again. I don't know anyone who doesn't make mistakes from time to time- it's part of the human condition as we are fallible. Learn from them, and keep going.

Zencat

IMHO Mistakes are lessons to learn from the best you can so as to prevent them from happening again. Live and learn, and next lesson

Self-sabotage is another issue I have had trouble with in the past. Non-applicable here.

Delilah1

Mistakes happen, and all we can do is learn from them, and plan to do things differently next time. I think the important thing is to own up to the mistake, and to have a plan to fix it.

brighterday1234

Own it, forgive yourself, learn from it and move on 🙏

fishkiller

Oh yeah I know the feeling.
Walk it off and let it go.

FiveTries

Thank you all!