ToughChoices

The land where I live is so flat and treeless you can almost sense the curvature of the Earth. Walking out on the plains you see 90% sky and a sliver of sloping, solid ground. Looking up, I feel untethered and dizzy and full of awe. I have to keep glancing down to ensure I don’t fall over.

In sobriety, there is SUCH intense beauty and terror all around. The possibilities seem endless and leave my head spinning, so I sometimes have to pause a moment to “look down” and shore up my footing.

Today, I am reminding myself that a substance-free life is a gift of connection. It plugs me into reality so that I can honestly react (laugh, cry, scream, rejoice, etc…) to it. It sturdies me on this tilting, incredible world, so that I can more fully appreciate the amazing view.

Thanks to everyone here on SR for assuring me that the view was worth the WORK. It is.

You all are amazing.

SoberLeigh

Lovely post.

You are very amazing, ToughChoices. It is an honor to be a part of your journey.

fishkiller

I love days like that.

NEVER had them when I was a drunk.

Enjoy your FREEDOM!
You've earned it

Lixie

I live in a place where the sky is interrupted by mountains covered in snow. I must remember to enjoy their beauty.

Thank you.

Klio

I have no words but I felt this post deeply. Thank you! ❤️

ToughChoices

Just an “all over the place” day. I listened to Zach Bryan’s acoustic album Deann today on my walking route. It’s a tribute to his late mother, and I just kept sobbing spontaneously. Beautiful. Heartbreaking.

I need a loudspeaker to follow me around: “Pay no attention to your emotional letter carrier, ladies and gentlemen. She’s not in any physical pain.”

Tonight my middle child performed with his elementary school choir at our town’s May Fete celebration. The other talent acts involved bad puns, lots of sparkles and unicorns, tap dancing while twirling batons, and martial arts choreographed to classic rock ballads.

It. Was. A. Show.

The kids had a blast. Hubs and I were definitely entertained.

How did I get so lucky as to have THREE beautiful, freckled boys who love to sing and dance and play soccer/basketball and bake and build strange models of monsters? How did I get to be the one to tuck them in at night???

What a total flipping HONOR! They will probably never write a song about me (elementary honor choir does not = Zach Bryan), but they do love me. And I am HERE for it!

Lixie

That sounds wonderful, TC! And who knows, maybe there will be a song about you someday? Or a book, or a movie, or a poem...?

Alpine

Lovely post and I agree

ToughChoices

I don’t need a song or poem or movie (though any of those would be exciting!). My 10-year-old held my hand in public the other day, and my teenager talks about God and birds with me over coffee most mornings.

My 2 younger children will have no concept of me as an addict/alcoholic. My teen knows the truth, forgives me, and is staunchly in the AVRT, “just don’t drink/use ever and never change your mind” camp. I appreciate the simplicity of his terms. I can do that.

Anna

TC, it sounds like you have great motivation to continue your sober journey.

least

What a lovely attitude! . I too get caught up in the bustle and noise of daily life, but can find moments of beauty all around me, in the small things and the big things.

One time when my third daughter was about 10 or 12 yrs old, I was outside and noticed a magnificent spider web on the corner of the house, and the spider who lived there was busily fighting with a wasp or some other kind of stinging insect. It was a long battle but the spider won. . I told my daughter to notice the small universes that are all around us.

(when I first read the thread title, I thought you were referring to the Jimmy Stewart Hitchcock movie of the same name. )