Steely

Hello fellow travellers.

Had to tell a neighbour to F off in all of the very best of ways.

She's a bully when she chooses, and a bit of a stand over merchant when she wants. I'd had enough.

I've expressed my misgivings a couple of times, but she returns to the Harpie in her every time. It's 'orrible.

I'm having nothing further to do with her. Again, in the best possible way.

And that shouldn't be too hard because I'm a nice person.

It feels really good. I saw her for what she is, and myself for what I am. I acted accordingly.

Sober gave me the opportunity.

Hevyn

Steely - I'm glad you took care of that situation. I'm no good at confrontations, but sometimes there's no other way.

No reason why we should have to tolerate someone who causes us misery.
Nice job.

Steely

Thanks Hevyn. I'm not good at confrontation either. But it had to be, this time.

I feel a new Me coming on.

Dee74

Sounds like it was for the best Steely

D

least

I had to learn the difference between 'aggressive' and 'assertive'. The former is about anger, the latter is about diplomacy. But assertiveness helped me stand up for myself.

Bubovski

True too true! Too much niceness can sometimes be construed as a walk all over me mat.A kind assertiveness (hard as it may be) is the way to go.
" Do not light a furnace so hot that you yourself do singe" Shakespeare.

Steely

Thanks for the back up everyone.

Still learning at 3 years sober, and it feels good.

calmself

Good you expressed your angst Steely. Repressed irritation causes only more pain like a buried thorn. It's good to be assertive. I was also a pushover and still am but much lesser now.

Robbie64

Well done for standing your ground and for saying what you needed to say Steely. The alternative would be to say nothing and to then let anger and resentment fester inside your mind - not very conducive to a sober way of thinking.

brighterday1234

Sounds like recovery 🙏

Steely

All of what y'all have said is true and gives me greater confidence. Thank you.

I loved the quote from Shakespeare Bubovski. I'll remember it forever. You'd think I'd know it hey, what with my broiling crucible avatar. 🔥

overforty

Urgh neighbor drama!
Good for you @Steely
Being sober definitely helps us address things we'd usually run away from - I bet it feels good!

Alpine

Good for you Steely, and I too am not one for confrontation. I like what Least said about being assertive, so very true. I am rarely that way and when I do confront, it takes people back a few steps because I am never that way at all. Being sober definitely has helped.

Surrendered19

Good for you Steely. Being sober really was key for me in finally evaluating all of my relationships. Some were BS. Some were genuine. And until I was sober, I couldn't tell the difference.

Anna

Steely, well done on keeping true to yourself and maintaining your boundaries.

Steely

Thanks Anna.

I couldn't tell the difference either Surrendered.

It's a good thing being sober.

Zencat

Solid growth Steely Bravo!!!!

Assert your boundaries with courage, well played