Baby Steps Weekenders ~ 03 - 06 March 2023
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 1,953
RunnerF, Dude tell her to stop saying that. Make her understand that its ruining your day, maybe give a long lecture. These kinds of comments are not acceptable especially when repeatedly said whether it's mom, wife or daughter.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2019
Location: New England
Posts: 1,476
Calmself. Thanks for your thoughts. Agreed it’s uncalled for on her part. I have expressed my feelings and will continue to be stalwart in defense of my sobriety. It’s just annoying there is no support. Just something I must live with, been married 40 years, so moving on would be difficult.
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Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,955
Runner - People, loved ones will treat us as we allow them too. Boundaries! What boundaries have you set to let others know without question what treatment you will accept or reject?
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,955
Hi 
I started drinking young. I kept drinking more and more.
Until I could not stop on my own. Alive now but I payed
the devil his dues in flesh, blood and left with a befoul soul
to get in to recovery.
Recovery is a plan of action with purpose = 'tools' + living in the light (enlightened) + You and you and you...and yes you!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2021
Posts: 12,479
I am happy for the weekend to be here, it gives me a break from the nonstop appointments.
I too.
Runner, I hope this day finds you well. You are doing great! Sorry you are still dealing with this. I think I asked before..And I know it is none of my business..But is she insecure in the fact that you are no longer drinking and she is? Do you think she feels that maybe you may think she needs to stop as well? Gosh, what a hard situation for you. Keep up the amazing work. We are here for you!
For me the older I have become the less I care about what others think, well, not really...I am still very much aware of it, it is just not as strong or overwhelming. Been working quite hard on building my self-esteem and confidence which have always been lacking. I have been going through a poop ton of not so fun things lately and so very grateful to be sober, otherwise I do not know how I would be handling it all.
I too.
Runner, I hope this day finds you well. You are doing great! Sorry you are still dealing with this. I think I asked before..And I know it is none of my business..But is she insecure in the fact that you are no longer drinking and she is? Do you think she feels that maybe you may think she needs to stop as well? Gosh, what a hard situation for you. Keep up the amazing work. We are here for you!
For me the older I have become the less I care about what others think, well, not really...I am still very much aware of it, it is just not as strong or overwhelming. Been working quite hard on building my self-esteem and confidence which have always been lacking. I have been going through a poop ton of not so fun things lately and so very grateful to be sober, otherwise I do not know how I would be handling it all.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2019
Location: New England
Posts: 1,476
Pledging for today. Day 153. Snowy here in New England.
Alpine and others thanks for your thoughts. I continue to set internal boundaries and articulate them to my wife as needed. If I would sit her down and discuss it doesn’t go well. I just set the boundaries as needed but I wish she would be more supportive. Don’t think she is going to change after 43 years together so take it for what it is. My sobriety is my choosing and no one is responsible for it than me. Thus I will do what I need to.
Alpine and others thanks for your thoughts. I continue to set internal boundaries and articulate them to my wife as needed. If I would sit her down and discuss it doesn’t go well. I just set the boundaries as needed but I wish she would be more supportive. Don’t think she is going to change after 43 years together so take it for what it is. My sobriety is my choosing and no one is responsible for it than me. Thus I will do what I need to.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 3,095
I second Alpine's "Good for you, Runner" sentiment. You are dealing with this very well, I am so impressed as I would not handle it nearly as well, but your insight and thoughtfulness has helped me.
Have a great sober weekend all.
Have a great sober weekend all.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,874
Originally Posted by RunnerF 
Pledging for today. Day 153. Snowy here in New England.
Alpine and others thanks for your thoughts. I continue to set internal boundaries and articulate them to my wife as needed. If I would sit her down and discuss it doesn’t go well. I just set the boundaries as needed but I wish she would be more supportive. Don’t think she is going to change after 43 years together so take it for what it is. My sobriety is my choosing and no one is responsible for it than me. Thus I will do what I need to.
Alpine and others thanks for your thoughts. I continue to set internal boundaries and articulate them to my wife as needed. If I would sit her down and discuss it doesn’t go well. I just set the boundaries as needed but I wish she would be more supportive. Don’t think she is going to change after 43 years together so take it for what it is. My sobriety is my choosing and no one is responsible for it than me. Thus I will do what I need to.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Colorado
Posts: 3,474
.
>45 Years of proverbial Marital Bliss here. Me just up and getting Sober was a bumpy ride for a while. I was busy re-tooling every aspect of my Life. Learning to pay Bills while Sober. Learning to Grocery Shop while Sober. Learning to tackle House Projects while Sober. Everything, really. All of those bits were the Baby Steps, and I tended to just muscle through them vs. thinking *too much* about them. That would have tripped me up even more.
Had my Spouse not dropped the Booze eventually [around me], we likely would either not be an item anymore, or we would be in a drastically-different Relationship. Which would have been fine. I was willing to plod along whatever new path the Sober Universe tossed out for me. She's still a Stoner, but a modest one. Nothing like a Couch Potato. One take-away for me was that there is no mandated ideal. We pretty-effortlessly struck up our current 'Tango', and it's working just swimmingly. The agility to pivot and forge a modified Relationship is all good. I toss out old stuff when old stuff doesn't work. So, I don't long for more of whatever the past was. It's passed.
The Week after this, we again go our own ways for a few Weeks. She's away to visit Teacher Friends, and Gal Pals around Boulder CO. When this news suddently dropped w/o notice, I fired up this Laptop for my destination: the California Coast in a swanky Resort right on the Ocean with MesaPup. There's a Dog Beach, and a Dog Park nearby. No Trailer this trip. That right there means I'll get ~24 MPG in my Truck while relaxed vs. 6 or 8 MPG when towing. Attitude creates Gratitude.
Morro Bay Pictures
Here's the Elephant Seals just up the CA Coast by Hearst Castle. And, what better bunch of '70s Rockers to sing about leaping 'Head First' into Sobriety via Baby Steps, eh?
Elephant Seal Rookery
'Head First' ~ The Babys
Thanks, Mags!
>45 Years of proverbial Marital Bliss here. Me just up and getting Sober was a bumpy ride for a while. I was busy re-tooling every aspect of my Life. Learning to pay Bills while Sober. Learning to Grocery Shop while Sober. Learning to tackle House Projects while Sober. Everything, really. All of those bits were the Baby Steps, and I tended to just muscle through them vs. thinking *too much* about them. That would have tripped me up even more.
Had my Spouse not dropped the Booze eventually [around me], we likely would either not be an item anymore, or we would be in a drastically-different Relationship. Which would have been fine. I was willing to plod along whatever new path the Sober Universe tossed out for me. She's still a Stoner, but a modest one. Nothing like a Couch Potato. One take-away for me was that there is no mandated ideal. We pretty-effortlessly struck up our current 'Tango', and it's working just swimmingly. The agility to pivot and forge a modified Relationship is all good. I toss out old stuff when old stuff doesn't work. So, I don't long for more of whatever the past was. It's passed.
The Week after this, we again go our own ways for a few Weeks. She's away to visit Teacher Friends, and Gal Pals around Boulder CO. When this news suddently dropped w/o notice, I fired up this Laptop for my destination: the California Coast in a swanky Resort right on the Ocean with MesaPup. There's a Dog Beach, and a Dog Park nearby. No Trailer this trip. That right there means I'll get ~24 MPG in my Truck while relaxed vs. 6 or 8 MPG when towing. Attitude creates Gratitude.
Morro Bay Pictures
Here's the Elephant Seals just up the CA Coast by Hearst Castle. And, what better bunch of '70s Rockers to sing about leaping 'Head First' into Sobriety via Baby Steps, eh?
Elephant Seal Rookery
'Head First' ~ The Babys
Thanks, Mags!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2021
Location: NC
Posts: 1,655
Hi All. Thanks Mags for the opener. I am in for another sober weekend. I still like counting. I think I am on my 115th sober weekend. So grateful I quit finally.
Runner I am so sorry you are dealing with the lack of support from your wife. But we all support you and are here for you. I hope that as time goes on she will realize what a blessing it is that you are sober and healthy.
I hope everyone has a great weekend.
Off to play tennis!
Runner I am so sorry you are dealing with the lack of support from your wife. But we all support you and are here for you. I hope that as time goes on she will realize what a blessing it is that you are sober and healthy.
I hope everyone has a great weekend.
Off to play tennis!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 3,517
CBS, 115 sober weekends sounds excellent!
MesaMan, Morro Bay is another place I'd not previously heard of but it looks very scenic. Enjoy your trip.
I'm happy to report that I went for an hour long walk this morning with no problems. It's the first time I've walked for that long since last summer, the various heart related health problems I've had since then having put paid to my usual Saturday morning walks. Today I had no breathlessness or chest pains or anxiety or anything else. I enjoyed being able to walk without any problems.
MesaMan, Morro Bay is another place I'd not previously heard of but it looks very scenic. Enjoy your trip.
I'm happy to report that I went for an hour long walk this morning with no problems. It's the first time I've walked for that long since last summer, the various heart related health problems I've had since then having put paid to my usual Saturday morning walks. Today I had no breathlessness or chest pains or anxiety or anything else. I enjoyed being able to walk without any problems.
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