Tetrax

And thank you for reminding me! Now I've dug it out and dusted it down I think I ought to give it a proper re-read.

Mummyto2

That's great

novips

I have no idea whether the following applies to anyone on this thread. I only offer it in the hope that folks will keep the propositions in mind as possible explanations for what might otherwise be inexplicable.

Is it possible that there is a type of alcoholic for whom A.A. is the only solution? My experience strongly suggests that this is not only possible but is in fact true. Importantly, for that type of alcoholic it is utterly irrelevant whether they believe A.A. is for them or not. Unfortunately, many in that class will insist to their last that they must be free to choose from a buffet line of solutions -- jumping ceaselessly from one offering to the next in pursuit of what they currently believe is properly suited to them.

LazaB

If i remember correctly there was a poll recently on SR on that and the results showed that most people successfully quit just using this forum.

Mummyto2

Interesting thought, i went to AA before and it was the only English one i could find, i was 6 months sober but what screwed it for me is i turned up to a meeting and they had alanon is it people there to share, there was this one woman who took great pleasure in blasting me right left and center, that night i drank and didn't bother with AA after that

Dee74

The Allen Carr book was useful to me, even tho I read it after I was sober.

I remember clearly him asking the questions 'what do I want this drink to do for me'...'is that a realistic ideal'...and 'how else might I get whatever it is I want without drinking'.

Major paraphrasing because I haven't read the book in 15 years, but that part of the book has stayed with me.

D

ToughChoices

I'm sorry that happened to you, Mummy. Alanon has its share of spiritually ill people, too, and it sounds like you ended up in an AA meeting with one. They are certainly not all like that. I've yet to see anyone be told off in a meeting (though I have thought that people deserved it, from time to time!).

I don't think that everyone needs AA to stop drinking/using, but I know that it was precisely what I needed (though I wasn't initially convinced that it would be helpful or necessary). Why it was necessary is a mystery to me, but I am very grateful for my journey of recovery.

I've found Allen Carr, Annie Grace, and William Porter to be excellent resources! I also loved Glennon Doyle's Untamed.

Interestingly, all of my quit lit reading occurred AFTER my 12 Step progress allowed me to escape from my obsession with chemical escape. Reading those books entirely, commitedly sober felt like reading an explanation of my insanity. I don't know if they would have been enough to coax me back to sanity on their own.....but they certainly helped convince me that I never want or need to go back to that hell.

Mummyto2

That's great Dee, tough choices AA have helped a lot of my own family in Ireland so i know just how good they can be to some people, my uncle is now 30 years sober and we all thought there was no one or nothing that would stop him drinking but he fell one day in the street and me other family members dragged him to AA and he has never looked back although he has parkinsons now so i don't really speak because i can't understand a word he says.
I am enjoying this Allen Carr theory though, going to read some more later.

DriGuy

I read a lot of them in early recovery, but even 27 years later, I'm still adding the occasional book to my Library. The Allen Carr book should arrive any day now. I don't need any more books at this point, but I'm just interested in the topic because recovery was such a big deal in my life. If one of my friends browsed through my library of assorted topics, someone might assume I have a serious secret drinking problem that I am battling with.

Mummyto2

DriGuy let me know what you think after reading it if you don't mind, i am going to read some more today, at the beginning that illusion of the tables got me, you will understand what i am on about when you get it.

DriGuy

I will.

Mummyto2

Thanks

Evoo

AA certainly wasn't for me. I still bristle at terms like "powerless" and the cult-like devotion to steps; some people in AA would say things to me like, "If you can quit without AA, you were never a real alcoholic," or got on my case about kombucha. Then luckily I met many others in the program who are lovely, tolerant people who found peace and healing through the AA community - to each their own!

Ultimately, it's *your* sobriety. Only you can define it, reduce harm, and find your own path to happiness and health. How you get there is up to you. Congrats and thanks for the recommendation .

Dee74

This thread will probably last longer if we focus on Allen Carr rather than AA.
​​​​
thanks
D

Mummyto2

I think some people think that members of a group like AA or people that go to mass are lovely and helpful etc but their will always be ars****es in all groups unfortunately, also those who think they can talk down to you because they have a long time sober, there are obviously really nice people as well and i met a few in AA but i suppose that's just life, you have some good people and some bad people

Mummyto2

Delete my comment then Dee, yes your right Allen Carr

Dee74

I'm not deleting comments or closing threads - I'd just rather this be about what has worked for people, not what didn't.

D

Mummyto2

Okay, 2 weeks today and i am halfway through the Allen Carr book, i am reading a little each day so i fully take it all in. My sleep routine is coming back and getting 6 hours which is fine for me, i think the workouts i am doing are helping with the sleep pattern.

Evoo

Yeah, good point. Thanks, Dee.

I appreciate books that work to the get to the psychology of alcoholism. Some people actually can "reason" their way out of the cycle of addiction, and that hyper-awareness of the chemical/psychological/physiological nature of cravings and withdrawals can help us power through them. Then the added awareness of just how destructive alcohol can be to the human body is just another layer of that. Then you can start to unravel the social/historical/cultural ways we idolize and romanticize drinking. Finally, maybe you'll find some forgiveness and empathy for yourself once clear of the addiction. Very modern, powerful stuff.

DriGuy

I received an email from the ebay seller that the book was no longer available, and he asked if would like a similar book by Carr, both about recovery, and no doubt there is a lot of overlap, but I wanted the one discussed here so we would be talking about the same thing.