New to recovery
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2023
Posts: 14
New to recovery
I've been a every day drinker for 25 years or so. I wake up some mornings and have to have a few rinks to stop the gagging and the shakes. I've made some bad choices reaching out to older women for emotional support because my wife drinks to and I irritate her which I look for someone to be nice to me not a sexual relationship just someone to talk to that is nice. I haven't talked to anyone But I try and reach out to past people I know. Well they told my wife i was trying to contact them and It broke her heart I feel awful and regret my actions If i wasn't drunk I would have never done it.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,514
Jimmie, Welcome! We all do things we regret when we're drinking. I think that's part of the reason we stay hooked. If we stop drinking, then we have to manage the messes we've made while drinking. I hope that you and your wife can talk openly about what happened. Are you ready to make the choice to stop drinking? I hope so. We're here for you.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,574
Hi Jimmie - Great to meet you.
I did out-of-character things when drinking - can hardly believe some of them. The only way to be in control of our lives is to stop drinking. Once it's in our system, there's no telling where it will take us.
Hope you will decide to quit - and look forward to hearing more from you.
I did out-of-character things when drinking - can hardly believe some of them. The only way to be in control of our lives is to stop drinking. Once it's in our system, there's no telling where it will take us.
Hope you will decide to quit - and look forward to hearing more from you.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2023
Posts: 14
Originally Posted by Anna 
Jimmie, Welcome! We all do things we regret when we're drinking. I think that's part of the reason we stay hooked. If we stop drinking, then we have to manage the messes we've made while drinking. I hope that you and your wife can talk openly about what happened. Are you ready to make the choice to stop drinking? I hope so. We're here for you.
my wife remembers you when she stopped drinking
im having awful withdrawals just upset stomach and anxiety
Thank you for your support
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2023
Posts: 14
Getting better
Well I’m in a better place mentally I feel the future is bright I will not be drinking alcohol or anything else I want to work on my marriage because I’m married to a wonderful woman who I can live without I can do this I really appreciate your kindness when your down and broken it’s gray to hear encouragement I talked to my good friend of 50 years and he told me his past experience with drinking I was shocked he’s doing great but his marriage is just a living together person I want to be everything for my wife I’ve givin my all and she’s worth it it won’t be easy I’ll be happy after the withdrawals are gone it’s rough but better days are ahead thanks for listening I appreciate you encouragement
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,962
Welcome to SoberRecovery.com (SR) jimmielong1825
Drunken unacceptable behavior can damage all relationships, interment and casual. I've done it so has others here around SR have done it.You can use you can use all the negative consequences of alcohol misuse how's the tool to prevent further drunkenness and unruly behavior. Turn it into a recovery tool as: "why I will not drink". It's a good idea to list all the reasons why you will not drink and run it in your head like a tape recording. So when the addictive voice says why not have a drink play the tape all the way through one drink will lead to 123 more and then you're back in the old slump that got you into recovery in the first place. That's called playing the tape through. A great recovery tool that you've just learned and can use to keep you sober and sane.
For greater interaction with the all peers here at SR I'll give you a link to post in the newcomer section, Good to have you here.
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...mers-recovery/
Drunken unacceptable behavior can damage all relationships, interment and casual. I've done it so has others here around SR have done it.You can use you can use all the negative consequences of alcohol misuse how's the tool to prevent further drunkenness and unruly behavior. Turn it into a recovery tool as: "why I will not drink". It's a good idea to list all the reasons why you will not drink and run it in your head like a tape recording. So when the addictive voice says why not have a drink play the tape all the way through one drink will lead to 123 more and then you're back in the old slump that got you into recovery in the first place. That's called playing the tape through. A great recovery tool that you've just learned and can use to keep you sober and sane.
For greater interaction with the all peers here at SR I'll give you a link to post in the newcomer section, Good to have you here.
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...mers-recovery/
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
Welcome Jimmie
You'd posted in our chat admin forum, which is not the chat room...seeing as you have quite a few replies I moved your post to Newcomers forum
No matter how long you've been drinking for, I really believe we can turn our lives around, with support - and you find a lot of that here
D
You'd posted in our chat admin forum, which is not the chat room...seeing as you have quite a few replies I moved your post to Newcomers forum
No matter how long you've been drinking for, I really believe we can turn our lives around, with support - and you find a lot of that here
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2023
Posts: 14
Going back to work today
Thank you going to work today trying to keep the nausea to a minimum I’m sure it’s going to be a long day but I know every day will get better but I’m sure nervous about going in today
Member
Join Date: Oct 2021
Posts: 12,486
Jimmie, I certainly did things that were wayyyyyyy out of character for me that I can not even imagine ever doing. I am happy to see you are here and are putting in the work to be sober. It will be rough at first, and that darn av will most likely be a pain in your backside, but push through it because it is so worth it and far better than the alternative.I think it was Dee that said it's not the last drink you have to worry about it's the first...Very true for me because once I have one I just continue on.
Member
Join Date: May 2019
Location: UK
Posts: 3,946
Welcome Jimmie, sorry to hear about the marriage issues on top of the withdrawals. The latter just shows how dependent our bodies become on alcohol. Withdrawals are absolutely horrid, it feels like a major illness, but this feeling starts to ease after a week or two. If you’re drinking every day plus in the morning, I think you know that’s a serious addiction, and it might be worth seeing your GP. You have to quit for good. You’ve become dependent and can’t be an occasional drinker again.
Bearing in mind I’m getting divorced partly due to my former drinking (quit 4 years ago), I’d say your marriage sounds strong. Tell your wife you’re quitting. Maybe she can quit too? You’d have some great times ahead. For now, though, just concentrate on riding through these withdrawals. Don’t rule out the GP.
Bearing in mind I’m getting divorced partly due to my former drinking (quit 4 years ago), I’d say your marriage sounds strong. Tell your wife you’re quitting. Maybe she can quit too? You’d have some great times ahead. For now, though, just concentrate on riding through these withdrawals. Don’t rule out the GP.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 5,171
Where you are right now was the worst part for me, but the anguish did not last long. For some, it gets better gradually. For me, there was an abrupt change that didn't just happen because enough time without a drink had passed. Just waiting it out will work too, but everything changed for me in a sudden perception shift when I accepted that I could never drink again. Then instead of fearing a life without alcohol, my fear shifted to the worry that I may drink again, maybe accidentally against my will.
It's odd. When I thought I could ease into recovery by allowing for the occasional drink (but only when necessary) things did not go well. It was much easier just to accept that alcohol could never again have any place in my life. What I thought was the hard way turned out to be the easier way.
It's odd. When I thought I could ease into recovery by allowing for the occasional drink (but only when necessary) things did not go well. It was much easier just to accept that alcohol could never again have any place in my life. What I thought was the hard way turned out to be the easier way.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
It's odd. When I thought I could ease into recovery by allowing for the occasional drink (but only when necessary) things did not go well. It was much easier just to accept that alcohol could never again have any place in my life. What I thought was the hard way turned out to be the easier way.
It's a relief to wave the white flag and admit alcohol had me beat. I gladly surrendered to a life without it and set about making that happen.
Member
Join Date: May 2019
Location: UK
Posts: 3,946
“When I thought I could ease into recovery by allowing for the occasional drink (but only when necessary) things did not go well”
It’s an odd one, isn’t it, Dri? A successful dieter could have an occasional sneaky chocolate bar with no effect, but it doesn’t apply by any means to alcohol (and I guess nicotine and some drugs). I find it astounding that this isn’t common knowledge. So many relapsers and active alcoholics try the “occasional drink” approach - fails every time. My GP or even a counsellor I had to see never said this. It only dawned on me from reading stories on SR.
It’s an odd one, isn’t it, Dri? A successful dieter could have an occasional sneaky chocolate bar with no effect, but it doesn’t apply by any means to alcohol (and I guess nicotine and some drugs). I find it astounding that this isn’t common knowledge. So many relapsers and active alcoholics try the “occasional drink” approach - fails every time. My GP or even a counsellor I had to see never said this. It only dawned on me from reading stories on SR.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2023
Posts: 14
I miss my wife’s love
QUOTE=Hodd;7892011]“When I thought I could ease into recovery by allowing for the occasional drink (but only when necessary) things did not go well”
It’s an odd one, isn’t it, Dri? A successful dieter could have an occasional sneaky chocolate bar with no effect, but it doesn’t apply by any means to alcohol (and I guess nicotine and some drugs). I find it astounding that this isn’t common knowledge. So many relapsers and active alcoholics try the “occasional drink” approach - fails every time. My GP or even a counsellor I had to see never said this. It only dawned on me from reading stories on SR.[/QUOTE
well, it’s almost been a week without drinking and I never felt better. The first three days were hell shakes then the nausea but now I have the sadness in my heart. I hope you say sober. Your life will be a lot better. Good luck my friend.
It’s an odd one, isn’t it, Dri? A successful dieter could have an occasional sneaky chocolate bar with no effect, but it doesn’t apply by any means to alcohol (and I guess nicotine and some drugs). I find it astounding that this isn’t common knowledge. So many relapsers and active alcoholics try the “occasional drink” approach - fails every time. My GP or even a counsellor I had to see never said this. It only dawned on me from reading stories on SR.[/QUOTE
well, it’s almost been a week without drinking and I never felt better. The first three days were hell shakes then the nausea but now I have the sadness in my heart. I hope you say sober. Your life will be a lot better. Good luck my friend.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2023
Posts: 14
Realizing drinking is not your friend
Drinking is not your friend. It will make you feel good for a little bit and then the morning comes and you feel like **** or worse you’ve made some bad decisions or said some things that you didn’t mean you miss out on life all the little special moments because you rather be drinking, I know now I’ve missed out on a lot and I am committed to being sober and trying to find a way back up my wife’s heart
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