I’m desperate
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Arizona
Posts: 184
I’m desperate
This isn’t my first time here. I’ve been trying to get sober and stay sober for almost ten years now. I’ve done CR, AA, counseling/therapy, you name it. I always fail. I feel like I’m hopeless and I have no way to just STOP DRINKING. I feel like I’m losing my mind. I want to ask how to get a day one, but I know how. I’ve done it so many times. My husband and my poor 10 year old daughter are just completely done with me and my behavior. I know I’m making everything horrible around me but I can’t freaking just stop drinking. I’m here posting again because I just don’t know what to do anymore. I need alcohol to function it seems. I’m at the point that I’m getting up and drinking in the morning, then I eat, nap, and repeat until I pass out after making dinner and doing evening chores. I’m miserable.
I’m not sure what I’m saying here exactly. I just know from past experience that reaching out is at least a step in the right direction. I feel like this is my last chance. I’m ruining everything and I need help to get at least a day one.
I’m not sure what I’m saying here exactly. I just know from past experience that reaching out is at least a step in the right direction. I feel like this is my last chance. I’m ruining everything and I need help to get at least a day one.
Free.
Join Date: Apr 2020
Location: Saskatchewan.
Posts: 2,972
I feel your pain Ambuler.
I recall crying while drinking straight out of the bottle and it no longer easing my pain.
I committed myself to the hospital (in Canada they will keep you under a watch for three days if you’re suicidal)
I told them I was suicidal.
Maybe you’ll need to go to a detox centre or a hospital.
Alcohol feeds that depressed feeling. It usually would lift some by day four for me.
You ARE important enough that you can forego all other ‘obligations’ in life to take care of yourself and get the help you need.
Asking for help eased my burdens. I hope that you, too, can find some relief.
Keep checking in.
Glad you’re here.
Also, supervised detox might be wise. Detox from high levels of consumption can be dangerous.
I recall crying while drinking straight out of the bottle and it no longer easing my pain.
I committed myself to the hospital (in Canada they will keep you under a watch for three days if you’re suicidal)
I told them I was suicidal.
Maybe you’ll need to go to a detox centre or a hospital.
Alcohol feeds that depressed feeling. It usually would lift some by day four for me.
You ARE important enough that you can forego all other ‘obligations’ in life to take care of yourself and get the help you need.
Asking for help eased my burdens. I hope that you, too, can find some relief.
Keep checking in.
Glad you’re here.
Also, supervised detox might be wise. Detox from high levels of consumption can be dangerous.
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,954
Welcome back to SR Ambuler.
I felt hopeless with my drinking and drugs. Many times as I failed to stay sober for 24-hours. Stick around and post very often, like in the next 24 hours post constantly. You can and will recover.
I felt hopeless with my drinking and drugs. Many times as I failed to stay sober for 24-hours. Stick around and post very often, like in the next 24 hours post constantly. You can and will recover.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Arizona
Posts: 184
Oh my goodness it feels so good to just have replies from people who get it. I’m crying right now, though I’m sure it’s just the booze. I’m still so grateful. I’m planning to try (for the millionth time it seems) for another day one tomorrow. I will post here and keep posting. Please keep me in prayer for those of you who do that.
I really just want to say too that those of you who post in the Friends and Family section are truly soldiers and I’ve been there a lot. It really helps to see it from that side and I thank you guys so much for sharing your experiences. No one deserves to be around this crap. I’m not in any position to give advice, I’m sure, but I will say if there’s anyone here that’s new to the forums and needs another perspective you should definitely take a look over there. This thing that we struggle with is evil and it spreads and I’m just so done.
I really just want to say too that those of you who post in the Friends and Family section are truly soldiers and I’ve been there a lot. It really helps to see it from that side and I thank you guys so much for sharing your experiences. No one deserves to be around this crap. I’m not in any position to give advice, I’m sure, but I will say if there’s anyone here that’s new to the forums and needs another perspective you should definitely take a look over there. This thing that we struggle with is evil and it spreads and I’m just so done.
Yield beautiful changes
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: A home filled with love
Posts: 1,698
Glad that you are here and posting, Ambuler!
Addiction has a physical component and an emotional/spiritual component.
First things first!
If you are a daily drinker, struggling for a day 1, you will likely need medical assistance with quitting. Your physical body has become dependent on alcohol. Withdrawing on your own can be scary and uncomfortable. A detox center, hospital, treatment facility, etc.... can help with the process of ending this physical dependence. Can you do some research and talk to your spouse about finding treatment?
After that you can get to work on the emotional/spiritual component. This is the long-term (wonderful, exciting, life-giving) WORK of recovery. You can do it. You are worth it. We are here to help.
Addiction has a physical component and an emotional/spiritual component.
First things first!
If you are a daily drinker, struggling for a day 1, you will likely need medical assistance with quitting. Your physical body has become dependent on alcohol. Withdrawing on your own can be scary and uncomfortable. A detox center, hospital, treatment facility, etc.... can help with the process of ending this physical dependence. Can you do some research and talk to your spouse about finding treatment?
After that you can get to work on the emotional/spiritual component. This is the long-term (wonderful, exciting, life-giving) WORK of recovery. You can do it. You are worth it. We are here to help.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Arizona
Posts: 184
Originally Posted by Dee74 
Welcome back ambuler 
Post and read here for as long as you need to today and you can get that day one
D
Post and read here for as long as you need to today and you can get that day one
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Arizona
Posts: 184
Originally Posted by ToughChoices
Glad that you are here and posting, Ambuler!
Addiction has a physical component and an emotional/spiritual component.
First things first!
If you are a daily drinker, struggling for a day 1, you will likely need medical assistance with quitting. Your physical body has become dependent on alcohol. Withdrawing on your own can be scary and uncomfortable. A detox center, hospital, treatment facility, etc.... can help with the process of ending this physical dependence. Can you do some research and talk to your spouse about finding treatment?
After that you can get to work on the emotional/spiritual component. This is the long-term (wonderful, exciting, life-giving) WORK of recovery. You can do it. You are worth it. We are here to help.
Addiction has a physical component and an emotional/spiritual component.
First things first!
If you are a daily drinker, struggling for a day 1, you will likely need medical assistance with quitting. Your physical body has become dependent on alcohol. Withdrawing on your own can be scary and uncomfortable. A detox center, hospital, treatment facility, etc.... can help with the process of ending this physical dependence. Can you do some research and talk to your spouse about finding treatment?
After that you can get to work on the emotional/spiritual component. This is the long-term (wonderful, exciting, life-giving) WORK of recovery. You can do it. You are worth it. We are here to help.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,505
I am so glad you got so many awesome responses, dear Ambuler. My connection went haywire earlier just when I was answering you. Isn't the internet fun? 
No matter what you decide to do with regards to detox, you have all of us with you.
s ❤️
No matter what you decide to do with regards to detox, you have all of us with you.
s ❤️Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,564
Hi Ambuler - Thank you for your honest & heartfelt posts. I was feeling much the same way when I first came to SR.
I was drinking all day, no longer high or happy from it - just clinging to it because I couldn't imagine letting go. It made no sense, but I was terrified to face reality & clean up the mess I had made. When I started reading & posting here, I instantly felt less anxious. Just knowing others understood how I felt made all the difference to me. No one else in my life was able to relate to what I was going through.
I hope you'll keep posting your thoughts - we are here to help. We know you can get free.
I was drinking all day, no longer high or happy from it - just clinging to it because I couldn't imagine letting go. It made no sense, but I was terrified to face reality & clean up the mess I had made. When I started reading & posting here, I instantly felt less anxious. Just knowing others understood how I felt made all the difference to me. No one else in my life was able to relate to what I was going through.
I hope you'll keep posting your thoughts - we are here to help. We know you can get free.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Arizona
Posts: 184
Originally Posted by TiredCarpenter
I feel your pain Ambuler.
I recall crying while drinking straight out of the bottle and it no longer easing my pain.
I committed myself to the hospital (in Canada they will keep you under a watch for three days if you’re suicidal)
I told them I was suicidal.
Maybe you’ll need to go to a detox centre or a hospital.
Alcohol feeds that depressed feeling. It usually would lift some by day four for me.
You ARE important enough that you can forego all other ‘obligations’ in life to take care of yourself and get the help you need.
Asking for help eased my burdens. I hope that you, too, can find some relief.
Keep checking in.
Glad you’re here.
Also, supervised detox might be wise. Detox from high levels of consumption can be dangerous.
I recall crying while drinking straight out of the bottle and it no longer easing my pain.
I committed myself to the hospital (in Canada they will keep you under a watch for three days if you’re suicidal)
I told them I was suicidal.
Maybe you’ll need to go to a detox centre or a hospital.
Alcohol feeds that depressed feeling. It usually would lift some by day four for me.
You ARE important enough that you can forego all other ‘obligations’ in life to take care of yourself and get the help you need.
Asking for help eased my burdens. I hope that you, too, can find some relief.
Keep checking in.
Glad you’re here.
Also, supervised detox might be wise. Detox from high levels of consumption can be dangerous.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Arizona
Posts: 184
Originally Posted by Zencat
Welcome back to SR Ambuler.
I felt hopeless with my drinking and drugs. Many times as I failed to stay sober for 24-hours. Stick around and post very often, like in the next 24 hours post constantly. You can and will recover.
I felt hopeless with my drinking and drugs. Many times as I failed to stay sober for 24-hours. Stick around and post very often, like in the next 24 hours post constantly. You can and will recover.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Arizona
Posts: 184
Originally Posted by venuscat
I am so glad you got so many awesome responses, dear Ambuler. My connection went haywire earlier just when I was answering you. Isn't the internet fun?
No matter what you decide to do with regards to detox, you have all of us with you. s ❤️
No matter what you decide to do with regards to detox, you have all of us with you.
s ❤️Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Arizona
Posts: 184
Originally Posted by Hevyn
Hi Ambuler - Thank you for your honest & heartfelt posts. I was feeling much the same way when I first came to SR.
I was drinking all day, no longer high or happy from it - just clinging to it because I couldn't imagine letting go. It made no sense, but I was terrified to face reality & clean up the mess I had made. When I started reading & posting here, I instantly felt less anxious. Just knowing others understood how I felt made all the difference to me. No one else in my life was able to relate to what I was going through.
I hope you'll keep posting your thoughts - we are here to help. We know you can get free.
I was drinking all day, no longer high or happy from it - just clinging to it because I couldn't imagine letting go. It made no sense, but I was terrified to face reality & clean up the mess I had made. When I started reading & posting here, I instantly felt less anxious. Just knowing others understood how I felt made all the difference to me. No one else in my life was able to relate to what I was going through.
I hope you'll keep posting your thoughts - we are here to help. We know you can get free.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Arizona
Posts: 184
Originally Posted by Wes B
Hey Ambuler, I think you came to the right place. I'm no expert as only done my day 1 less than a week ago but I couldn't have done it without coming here.
The guys here are great and so supportive.
You can do this ❤️
The guys here are great and so supportive.
You can do this ❤️
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: hatboro pa
Posts: 94
Hi Ambuler, Welcome! I'm early in my sobriety 85 days. I know it feels like you can't but you can. I thought I was hopeless and could never let go but it's the best thing I ever did. AA has zoom meetings online they helped me in the beginning every day and coming here.
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