Yasman20

I've been asking my husband to get sober for yrs and then one day after a huge fight over him not coming home all night and abandoned his wife he decides to go to rehab at first I was very happy for him and proud he made that huge step. After one week of being sober and attending classes every night and weekends he had to go out of town for work which I know about before he went into rehab he was worried about missing classes but AA said they would zoom the meeting for him. While he was gone he was very distant he never called or texted, my husband never did that before he always called and said good night and that he loved me before he became sober. Everyday I texted and asked how is day was and how his meeting we're going and all I got was he was very busy I would say I love and miss you and he responded with a thank you. After 2 weeks he comes home and can't even look at me or talk to me he leaves for a meeting that morning and I find his wedding band on the night stand I call him and ask why he removed his ring and all he could say is it was to big. I kept question him till he finally admits he's moving out and got himself apartment, he also admitted that a friend who is a girl which he won't name convinced him to go to rehab. I'm so confused and hurt I was finally thinking we were going to fix our marriage and I would have a loving husband again instead he left me and won't tell me why until he sends me a letter and then he said I will need a few days to process it. Then he will talk. I love my husband but now I feel that he never loved me I'm so stresses out

Zencat

Welcome to SR Yasman. Understandably you are stressed out justifiably. I don't have much experience with a loved one leaving me. Someone will come along with more experience than me and be very helpful.

Until then have a look at the Family-Friends of Alcoholics forum of soberrecover.com
there you can find good support during your trying times.

Hang in there and know you will heal. Namaste

Anna

I'm really sorry that you are going through this. It sounds like he has been lying to you and I'm sure that's hard to deal with. My suggestion would be to create a boundary for yourself to take care of you. It's important for you to protect yourself and to think through what you want out of this situation.

least

Welcome to the family but I'm sorry for what brings you here. . It's hard to deal with when one's partner wants to leave.

I hope you can get counseling or help from AlAnon to soothe your wounded feelings.

january161992

Thank you Yasman for your honesty and I'm so sorry you're in pain.

The classic recovery based solution to your problem is Al-Anon.



https://al-anon.org/

Dee74

I'm sorry for what brings you here too Yazman, but this is a place of great support and encouragement.

D

Farrier

It's an unfortunate part of recovery for some married couples. Often the spouse of the alcoholic or the alcoholic themselves, believe that all the problems will resolve once the drinking has stopped. Sadly this is not true..... it's really just the beginning of a very long and windy road for both parties.

Give a gift to yourself and find a al-anon meeting where you can connect with other spouses that wear the same shoes.

Kaily

How awful your emotions must be running riot but you will get over this and smile again.

silentrun

I'm so sorry. Newly sober people can behave more erratically then when they were drinking. Trying to make sense of his behavior will make you crazy. It makes no sense. You didn't deserve to be treated that way. I hope you find some peace.