Evoo

I had a very vivid dream last night that I was at a holiday party, my wife had left - and in a moment I had a stiff drink with my brother-in-law. But far from enjoying it, I felt sick and distressed... in the dream I tortured myself over what I had done, I felt helpless/defeated about "starting my count over." In the dream I told my wife, who tried to support me and asked supportive questions like, "what do you think led you to this?" and "What do you think you need to do now?" (my wife is a counselor/therapist in real life, and is incredibly supportive, so this was accurate). I guess even dream me didn't try to hide it or run away from the decision, so that's good, I guess?

At some point I started lucid dreaming and realized it was a dream while still in the dream (weird), but was still feeling as if I had failed somehow and was nervous about impending anxiety and withdrawal symptoms. It wasn't until I actually woke up that I felt some relief that none of it was real.

I've been on a lot of text chains with cousins/friends lately talking about how excited they are to get together and have drinks - joking about getting drunk, things I used to be very much a part of. Maybe it's triggering something in my subconscious? Because I'm not desiring alcohol in this moment.

I also need to realize that, unlike in a dream, I can't "accidentally" have a drink. It's a very real choice. And a dream is just that -- a dream.

Anyway, this is a little rambley, but it really jarred me. It felt so real - and all the shame/anxiety that comes along with it. I'm upset that this substance can still throw me for a loop like this, even in sobriety. Thanks for reading, all .

Dee74

I think most of us have had those hyper real dreams. For me I decided to attach no real meaning to them...I still have hyper real dreams on occasion but not usually involving alcohol now...go figure

D

Farrier

I've had two alcohol related dreams in the last 6 months. I woke up anxious after each one. Not fun but I'm glad they weren't real.

Scott2295

I’ve had quite a few drinking dreams. Always the same in that I take that drink and then think what did I just do? I have to start all over again at day 1. When I wake up it takes a few moments to realize it was just a dream. I think its just part of the healing process.

Hodd

Seems to happen to a lot of us, Evoo. If you think about it, though, we probably all have unpleasant dreams about other themes, and we’re sure relieved when we wake up.

I have an unsubstantiated theory about sobering up and dreaming. Apparently, we dream more during REM sleep. A person who’s been drinking before bedtime will have less REM sleep (and more light sleep which has less dreams). So maybe we dream more now we’re sober and so have more dreams to remember. Just a theory.

But as you say, it’s just a dream. What a bonus you know drinking is wrong even when you’re asleep

Radix

I have the same dream as Scott above. I'll dream that I was drinking, and then I'd feel full of regret for doing it. In my dream I'd think of some kind of technicality or excuse to make my guilt feel better.

Then I'll wake up, and realize I didn't actually relapse, and I don't have to rely on any technicalities or excuses, and that I'm still sober. At which point I feel gratitude!

Farrier

Hodd said it right about REM sleep. I haven't slept like this is years and if I do wake up during the night, I'm able to go back to sleep......most times.

While drinking, I'd still get 5-7 hours of sleep (passed out) but was exhausted when I woke. Didn't make any sense to me until I quit drinking.

Hodd

Hi Farrier’ my watch records (or more likely estimates) how much time I spend in each sleep stage. Being realistic, the only parameters available to my watch are heart rate and body/arm movement, but it’s interesting to see. Definitely as a drinker I’d have less deep sleep and a much higher resting heart rate. I’m not sure if we know whether we’re in REM sleep or not, but the experts believe we dream more in this state. I’m not sure, but it’d make sense that someone who’d quit in the last few months would notice an increase in the number of dreams. We forget most of our dreams so if we dream more, we remember more.

Evoo

I like the quote in your signature. Funny I've thought of it as "breaking up" before, too...

And same here re: sleep. I get great sleep now - restorative sleep, I never really understood what that was before.

Hodd

I’ll bump this thread rather than waffle on in a new one 🙂

For me, dreams are just meaningless and random electrical impulses in our brains, but as like many of us I drank for a long time, it’s not surprising I get the occasional drinking dream even after a few years sober. So last night I dreamt I was drinking wine. Nothing unusual there. I knew in the dream I was up to no good, but the dream carried on to the next day where I then had a beer. Now that’s so true to life and exactly what would happen. I’d argue with myself that I’d had “the one” and could do so the next day and so on.

I don’t think we should interpret dreams in any way or give them any credence. They’re often upsetting when they include long departed loved ones or dangerous situations, but they’re meaningless. It’s just that last night’s dream told me what I already knew. If I did have “the one”, I’d repeat the next day and the next. Humans adapt quickly to new circumstances, and I’d soon accept being a drinker again with the associated weight gain, loss of exercise and so much other bad stuff. There’s only one way to stop that.

Steely

Best feeling ever, after we rouse, and know it was only a dream.

A dream that confirms even further, that we don't want to drink.

DriGuy

Many, possibly most of the drinking dreams reported here follow the format of getting drunk followed by remorse, regret, or anger. That's how every one of mine were too. The fact that so many of these follow the same script is a curiosity. We seldom hear a drunk dream in recovery that revolves around gaiety and celebration. I have often wondered if dreams are really expressing subconscious desires and fears, or are just meaningless visuals like those inkblot cards used to uncover hidden thoughts and agendas. But the parallel dreams we have in recovery suggest something more than simple gibberish in our unconscious brains.

Cityboy

I have the same dream occasionally, that I accidentally drank a beer or whatever and became faced with a sense of disappointment and failure. I also have an occasional dream that I have a final exam coming up but forgot to go to class all semester. My favorite is the dream where I've been at school all day in my underwear. The dream in which I am back smoking may be the worst and most frequent still, 15 years later. While still drinking, intense crazy dreams came almost nightly. Now they are very rare and usually associated with certain foods/spices.

Introvrtd1

Sometimes I dream I’m having several beers only to wakeup and realize I’m glad it was only a dream. I’m tired of waking up hungover, anxious and restless the days following.

VikingGF

I was distraught about my first drinking dream after I quit- but a member here said she looks at them as a gift- a reminder of where we came from but without any real damage done. I've only had 2 since I stopped- they didn't affect my commitment to sobriety and that's really all that matters.

nez

My awake conscious mind keeps me pretty busy trying to figure it out without adding to the work by trying to figure out my sleep mind as well. Not only that, but the vast majority of my mistakes happen in awake mode... in sleep mode, not so much.

I need continually reminders to keep it simple. Over complicating things unfortunately comes naturally, but I am a work in progress.
I will post updates as they become available.

ciowa

I have those dreams every now and then and my theory is that during my dream, Im trying to make sense of some sketchy, foggy reality and my mind reaches for a context to put this in and it goes back to the days when I drank. Waking on a couch after a blackout binge, trying to piece together the previous night and not sure what is real or not is what the mind remembers and puts introduces that situation into the dream. At least that’s my theory